Let Go
by Chibi-Kari
Summary: NM world. Angela and Ben asked me a favour...to go on vacation with them. I didn't know that my life would change so drastically. I never thought I could get over Edward leaving me...but now I'm grateful to him. R&R!
1. Angela

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Chibi-Kari: I've been thinking about this story for ages and although the surface has been scratched by others, I think I'll be doing it differently and doing it justice. I hope you guys enjoy it! Obviously, I don't own the Twilight Series because we all know Stephanie writes a million times better than I do. Enjoy!

***Note* My favourite vampire, Jasper, won't be in it for awhile…but trust me. He and all the Cullens will be making appearances in my little story. This story takes place after Edward leavings in NM, but before Bella makes friends with Jacob. Also…Angela may be a little OC…sorry, but I really need it that way for right now.*End of Note* Edited 7/7/09**

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The human mind is like a sieve…he told me once. Time heals all. I don't know if it would have nor not, but that ended up not being an option for me. All those years ago I fell to the ground and didn't come up…didn't come up for months. I might have stayed like that forever if it hadn't been for Angela. I can only see the good that she did for me, whereas I'm sure she only thinks she caused more harm. I can almost feel that she's in her home somewhere wondering if I'm still alive. At the same time I'm sitting in my house waiting for my love to return. Everything was completely different from how I planned. All those plans were ruined the last time I saw Edward, the moment he told me that it would be like he never existed. But now, I'm grateful to him…

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 1 – Angela**

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"This is our last winter break! We should all do something special!" Jessica bounced in her seat, her dark curls bouncing in time against her back. She was always one of the peppiest people I had ever met, right after Renee.

Her squealing had snapped me out of my self induced stupor. I glanced around the table. Everyone seemed to be on the same page. This was one of those few minutes that I actually understood what they were even talking about. These moments of clarity were few and far between…and I knew I would pay for it later.

Mike glanced at me momentarily, then looked back at Jessica smiling, "What about a bonfire down at La Push?"

Lauren scoffed, flipping her stringy hair back over her shoulder and scowling at the boy, "That's so common. We could go and do that this weekend…let's do something fun." I blinked a little blindsided. Lauren hadn't ever talked back to Jessica's boyfriend. But then again maybe they aren't dating anymore. I tried to think back if I had heard anything about their breakup…I couldn't remember.

Ben looked at me, smiling slightly at the shock on my face, "Will you be in town for winter break, Bella?"

The table grew silent and everyone's attention focused on me. My mind reeled at the silence that had engulfed the table just because Ben had asked me a question. I wasn't that bad was I? Angela and Ben shared a small smile. Maybe I was.

"Are you going to see your mother?" Angela prompted, smiling brightly at me.

"Umm…no." I thought back to make sure this was true, but after that tantrum I had thrown when Renee had tried to take me home, I was pretty sure they wouldn't even risk suggesting it. "I think I'm just going to stay around the house all break." I tried to shrug nonchalantly so they would go back to their previous conversation and stop staring at me.

Angela frowned slightly as the bell rang. Lauren and Jessica jumped up, linking arms and quickly chatting about what they could possibly do over the break. I heard some vague reference to California…or even Tijuana. I scoffed. Like their parents would let them go to TJ. Everyone knew what went on there. Hell, Renee, as flakey as she was, wouldn't let me put one foot in TJ. I stood up slowly, planning to take up the rear of the group like I always had.

Angela slipped in step next to me as Ben came up on my other side. They shared a grin. "So you really aren't doing anything?"

I shook my head slightly…where was this going? "No. I don't plan on it."

Angela beamed at me, "Well what if I gave you a plan? See…Ben and I are going to New York City over winter break."

Ben cut in smiling at me, "My family has some frequent flier miles they need to cash in. So they offered plane tickets to us."

I smiled brightly for the first time in what felt like years; they really deserved this. Ben and Angela were the best people in this school. Angela had silently been beside me since the moment Edward left. She supported me and although I didn't speak with her about it, I knew she would be a crying shoulder if I needed one. "That's great! You guys are going to have a great time! Do I need to watch someone's dog or something? You know I'd do it for you Angela." …and if I had an excuse for not having to leave the house to go out with friends the better. I could finally get Charlie off my back, it seemed like he was following my every move lately. Not that I wasn't fooling him. He couldn't know how much pain I was in, but I knew he was still worried.

Ben's eyes seemed to twinkle, "You'd do anything for Angela? Really, anything?"

I nodded slightly dumbfounded. The way Ben said that made me a little nervous, "Although you know I'm not a good actress. People can see right through my lies. I highly doubt I could convince your parents that I was in New York with Angela and not you."

Angela laughed, "My parents know I'm going with Ben. That's not a problem." Ben and Angela shared another glance before she continued, "The thing is we kind of need a chaperone."

"Like one of your parents?" I asked; eyes wide at the sudden shift in conversation. They were the most responsible people their age; I didn't see why their parents wouldn't trust them with a small trip.

"No…like you." I opened my mouth to protest, but Ben cut me off "The tickets are free. You won't have to pay for anything. Angela has a cousin that works in a hotel and he promised us free rooms. My grandmother said she would love to pay for tickets to a show. Come on, Bella. You won't have to worry about anything! And Angela told me how much you like theater. It would be a lot fun!"

I glanced down at my feet before looking at my two friends, "I couldn't impose on your alone time."

Angela bounced slightly…she could tell I was wavering. The smile on her face was making it hard for me to think of reasons why I shouldn't go. Imposing was grasping at straws already, "You won't be! We want you around! We get enough alone time as it is." I glanced at Ben as she said this, but he looked content with her statement, "Please, Bella. It's you or Jessica..and really I'd rather it not be Jessica!"

I shuddered at that thought. I wouldn't wish my biggest enemy the pain of traveling with Jessica. I vaguely thought back to the overnight trip to Seattle a few weeks ago. Jessica and I had stayed in the same room. It was absolute torture and I was barely conscious for it, "I'd have to clear it with Charlie."

Ben smiled mischievously, "Don't worry. I'll have my Mom call him. She's very persuasive." Ben raised his eyebrows before waving and walking off ahead of us.

Angela squealed in a very Alice-esque manor. My heart plummeted slightly. I wondered how my best friend was doing wherever she was. It was bad enough that Edward left, but he took his whole family away from me. "I can't believe you're going to New York with me! We can go shopping! We can sneak into the clubs. I'm sure Eric can get us some fake ids."

I blanched slightly at that. It was such a un-Angela thing to do. Out of character might have been an understatement. She was a preacher's daughter for God's sake, "Charlie hasn't said yes yet."

Angela laughed lightly as she turned to go to her class, "He will. Ben's mother really _is_ persuasive." She waved one last time before taking off down the hall.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Please review and give me some input. This is going to be different than anything I've read…and I've read a lot! Thanks so much for reading!**

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	2. New York

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Chibi-Kari: Well here is the next chapter…I was surprised by the amount of story alerts and the lack of reviews…but what can I say. I story alert and don't review also. So I'm glad I got any reviews. Plus, I'm really writing this story for me! I don't own Twilight…obviously. And now in the story we have a vampire…or two. Edit 7/7/09

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 2 – New York**

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I couldn't believe I was here. This was something so un-Bella it was almost crazy and definitely unbelievable. How Ben and Angela had convinced me this was a good idea was beyond me. But to tell the truth this was exhilarating. The base pumping so loud I could feel it, ripping through my body, pounding in my head. The lights shown sporadically to the music, purple and blue shining on the crowd. Casting shadows everywhere. Little clumsy Bella was dancing at a crowded club.

You took my hand

You told me it would be okay

I'm trusting you to hold my heart

Now fate is pulling me away, from you

Sweaty bodies were everywhere dancing to the beat of this song. For a moment we were all one moving body. The crowd itself was unbelievable, there had to be close to a thousand people packed into this place, which I'm sure was only supposed to hold near 700. I closed my eyes and listened to the music. The song would have been almost painful if I had been anywhere else, but here…everything felt so free. Everything was free. Everything was right. It was this moment, this city. I could almost feel as if the music was a part of me. I glanced up through the crowd to see Ben and Angela dancing together, smiling and obviously sharing a moment. Their eyes were alight with the same love I had shared with him. In this place even thinking about him didn't seem as bad.

Even if I leave you now

And it breaks my heart

Even if I'm not around

I won't give in

I can't give up

As much as I hadn't wanted to admit it, this trip was what I needed, exactly what I needed. I spent too much time mulling over Edward and I was afraid if I would leave Forks he would stop feeling real. I would forget everything we had built together just as he had. Just as he had said I would. But here…New York…nothing felt real. It was an illusion; I was an illusion. Our love was an illusion. It was amazing. I didn't forget him, but I could forget myself. Forget my pain. There was too much here. I was on sensory overload from the moment we stepped off the plane. The lights, the crowds, the sounds. I never wanted to leave. I always knew I loved cities, but never one like this. Phoenix was nothing like this. Charlie would have died if I hadn't of been zombie like back home…and if Ben's mom wasn't so persuasive. This was the exact type of place he hated…drugs, sex, motorcycles, gangs, muggings…all the things he complained about happen here hourly. I wasn't interested in those things, but I loved the city and the freedom I could have in it…the freedom to be nobody, to be unknown. Getting lost in a crowd was more powerful than anything I had felt before. I could be anyone or do anything.

I moved to the music as the chorus repeated…I really liked this group. I hadn't heard them before I came here, but they were addictive. After last night…or early this morning…did it matter that much, I didn't even know what time it was now…you don't keep track of time when you go out every night. Ben convinced us to go out yesterday, telling us it wasn't the New York experience if we didn't party a little. And Angela had procured some fake ids from Eric before me left. Just in case or so she said. After a few drinks, somehow Ben was able to get us; we decided to come to a club every night. But last night after I heard The Veronicas for the first time I knew they would be my favorite group. I spent most of today scouring music shops for their cds. They were something different than my normal collection and it was fantastic. Hearing them over the speakers just brought me a little farther out of the Bella shell.

I felt a strong arm pull me back, locking me into place against a stronger bigger body. The one part I didn't really like about clubs…the men. It seemed most of them view girls at the club as pieces of meat advertising themselves. Actually, I think Charlie even told me that once during one of his many city lectures that I really didn't listen to. Something about guys at clubs only going for one thing. And the clothes girls wore at clubs only encouraged the wrong kind of guy. I had had the right kind of guy and he broke my heart. I wasn't sure if Charlie's definition of the wrong kind of guy was any worse than his definition of the right kind of guy.

I turned slightly coming face to chest with the man that was behind me. He was built like Emmett, maybe even sturdier, "Excuse me, I'm not really in the mood to dance with any-" He looked down at me and I knew at that moment that he wasn't like any man here. He wasn't even a man. The words fell from my lips so softly that I knew no other person at the club could hear, even if the music hadn't been pumping at maximum, "Vampire."

His teeth shone in the darkness as he grimaced. His voice floated through the air, heavy with a Russian accent, "How would you know that, little one?"

My eyes roamed to his face, finding his crimson eyes, "Are you hunting?"

His eyes narrowed, obviously he wasn't used to having his food talk back to him and not answer questions, "So you know more than just what I am."

I shrugged lightly, still caught against his body. My neck was starting to knot as I had to awkwardly lean back to see the massive vampire while still trapped in his strong embrace. "I know a bit."

He growled at that and his grip tightened a fraction more, still not tight enough to hurt me. It was definitely too tight for me to escape from. I wondered in this moment why he was here. If he wanted to he would have drained me by now. Yet I was still here. I almost hoped this was the end. To die here wouldn't be a bad thing. I would stop feeling at the height of my happiness, "Who told you of us, little one?"

I narrowed my eyes at him this time. He didn't need to know, "Why should I answer your questions if you don't answer mine? And it doesn't matter how I know…and I would never tell you." I was feeling courageous. This vampire could kill me, probably would but I couldn't sell out the Cullens. They meant so much to me and I couldn't allow them to get hurt. I didn't know what his vampire wanted with that information, but I wasn't going to give it to him. And really my life meant so little. So little to them and my old life meant to little to me.

His laughter boomed out and his face immediately brightened. I cringed slightly, he reminded me so much of Emmett. "Oh, you are not afraid! Or you have a death wish. You have entertained me enough to answer your question. Hunting…yes, but not as you are referring. No one here is even fit to be my meal, alcohol runs through their systems…it would taint the taste." He wrinkled his nose in a sign of distaste. "Even yours, little one. Which I don't think should be the case. I believe this country has an age limit."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling slightly. He wasn't threatening me, but his eyes still shone dangerously. "What are you hunting for then?"

His smile widened again as he brought his hand up to my neck, "You." Everything went black.

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I was walking the streets of New York during the day; I was excited that the sun had decided to take a vacation today which meant I could visit my favorite stores during daylight hours. I smiled slightly at the nods of appreciation I got as I walked down the street. The only thing that would have been better would be if Emmett had stopped moping long enough to come with me. He was holed up in the hotel lamenting over the silly human, when he was supposed to be enjoying time with me, his beautiful wife. I scowled at the thought. It was almost completely against my husband's character to sulk for this long.

I started to hum to myself trying to block out Emmett's face, I would just have to make him focus only on me when I got back. How he had become attached to her was still beyond me. I stopped suddenly frowning when I realized what I was humming…Bella's lullaby. Damn Edward for playing it so much. The girl was probably sobbing away in her room if she hadn't already moved on. Humans were so fickle. I did feel bad for the girl, only slightly. She really did seem to adore my idiotic brother, but this was better for everyone. She didn't belong in this world. She was meant grow up and have a life and family, everything I couldn't have. Things she probably didn't want right now because she didn't have my brother. I sighed heavily, now she was bringing me down too.

I shook my head lightly before two things caught my attention. One the Weber girl crying at her boyfriend on the corner of the street. She was absolutely distraught. Someone had been missing since they went to the club last night. A part of my mind reveled in the fact that she had gone to a club being a minister's daughter and all, but it came crashing back when I heard the name that fell from her lips. The second thing was the fact that I could smell a vampire, someone I didn't know.

I stood for a moment debating what to do. I could follow the smell of the vampire and find out who he is and what he's doing here or I could go over to Angela and ask her for more details. I stood for only a moment. Bella couldn't be with the vampire; her luck couldn't be that bad. And what a vampire was doing here wasn't really my business. As long as he stayed out of my way there was no reason for me to go causing trouble. I shook my head slightly. She probably just went off with someone or woke up earlier and went out before the Weber girl could get up. I smiled to myself. That was it; she was just out shopping or something. I didn't have to do anything and I wouldn't tell anyone. Emmett would rip down the city if he found out Bella was here, let alone missing. She was fine…I was almost sure of it.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks for following along so far and please review!**

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	3. Change

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Chibi-Kari: So here is another chapter! I was extremely excited about all the reviews I got. Thanks so much everyone! And a lot of you got the mystery vampire right! Sorry if the pov switches to third person for a second. I forgot I was writing in first person while I was at work today and wrote it all in third person. Obviously I don't own! This chapter is a little longer! Edit 7/7/09

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 3 – Change**

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**(Rosalie POV)**

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That sense of calm that I had quickly vanished by the time I had walked into the first store. Here I was looking at Jimmy Choos, shopping on Madison Avenue and I was feeling slightly uncomfortable about the whole missing Bella situation. Not even a block later when I strolled into Valentino I remembered just how much Bella hated shopping. My mind wandered back to an argument that she had had with Alice over going to the mall. In the end Alice had to pry Bella from her death grip on the door jam. At the time it had been funny that a vampire seemed to be having so much trouble against a little human. But now it seemed anything but funny. My hand reached out for the beautiful black knee length dress in front of me, it would drive Emmett crazy. But all I could see was Bella holding on to the molding for dear life.

I gripped the cloth in my hands tightly, being careful not to rip it…not that I couldn't afford to pay for it if that happened, but it would be such a waste. Beauty should never be wasted. That was my motto. I closed my eyes trying to convince myself that everything would be alright. I would buy this dress and go home to Emmett. I would finally make him forget Bella in the way only I could. It was such a lovely thought.

For the past couple of months I had been trying to delude myself into thinking everything would go back to the way it was before Bella, that there was nothing wrong. Edward would be insufferable. Alice would be peppy, Jasper would follow her lead. Emmett would be my lovable husband and Carlisle and Esme would be their normal selves. It didn't happen. I would have to be completely obtuse not to notice how everything had…shifted around Bella's departure from our lives. It had started before they left her, but this was like opening Pandora's Box. Leaving Bella changed the unchangeable. I couldn't even delude myself enough to believe that I hadn't been changed, no matter how hard I tried. And believe me, I tried for hours at a time standing in front of the mirror reflecting solely on myself.

Edward was different to say the least. He was more insufferable than ever before. I was almost sick every time I had to see him. It was like he enjoyed playing the martyr, which I'm beginning to think is the truth. Alice was inconsolable. She had taken anger and apathy as her choice emotions, mostly when Edward was around. Bella had truly been her best friend and no one could console her. My eyes snapped open momentarily at my thought, before settling closed again. Jasper hadn't even tried to help her. I knew everyone's feelings tended to affect him, but normally he would be there with Alice. Jasper standing silently next to Alice had seemed like such a staple in our lives. Instead they were fighting if they did speak. I could still remember the first fight the two had.

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_The house had been silent for a few hours. Jasper, Alice, and myself were the only ones here tonight. The silence was broken by the sound of their voices. I walked towards the room they were in, but stopped at the sight of them._

_Jasper stood his back straight and his hands clenched, "You can only blame yourself Alice." It was stated calmly, so much like truth. My eyes widened as I heard that declaration. This declaration compelled me to move closer to our new living room, but kept me in the hallway. I could still see the two standing at odds. I shook my head slightly, how could Jasper accuse Alice for something he most definitely did? It was true I normally took Jasper's side in any argument, but this was excessive and unrealistic. He was the one that had attacked Bella. It wasn't Alice._

_Alice let a growl seep from her small body. It was unnerving, laced with distaste, "You were the one that lunged at her."_

_Jasper let out a bitter laugh and I quietly thanked whoever the power at be was for having the rest of the family out hunting. If they were here Edward would be joining Alice's side attacking Jasper, they always were the closest and Edward didn't even try to hide his disdain for Jasper. And everyone else would be devastated._

_Jasper's voice startled me out of my thoughts, "You knew."_

_Alice's eyes narrowed as she looked on her husband's still form, "Wouldn't I have tried to stop it if I knew?"_

_Jasper growled out, "Obviously not. I know you saw it. Her cut wasn't a decision so it could never have changed." Alice opened her mouth to say something but Jasper cut her off, "You would have been looking for her reactions to her presents. Don't deny you saw it. I felt your guilt spike right before her hand went to that present."_

_I gasped slightly my hand rising to my mouth and although I knew both could hear me neither seemed to care. I didn't want to believe that Alice knew. It would mean that this all could have been stopped before it even started. This was too unimaginable. Why would she trade her best friend for this hell we were living in?_

_Alice straightened up farther, "You still lunged." With that she turned and walked away whispering, "I had hoped you wouldn't."_

_Jasper stood a moment, watching his wife walk out the back door, before calling out, "Don't worry about it, Rose."_

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I shook my head slowly bringing myself back to reality. Everyone had changed. I had to catch myself from growling in the middle of the store. Alice knew; she should have realized that Jasper couldn't handle that. He would have to deal with not only his own blood lust, but everyone else's magnifying his. I really couldn't see what good could have come from what Alice did.

It was then that thoughts of leaving for awhile with Emmett entered my mind. Those thoughts got easier to entertain as things kept spiraling out of control. I made the decision the moment I overheard Edward and Alice verbally attack Jasper out front of the house. The only thing I could be thankful for was that Esme hadn't been there to see that, but I just couldn't stay anymore. It was cowardly. I know that. Jasper deserved to have some support there. But I just couldn't stay. We have been gone a month and I haven't even called to see how things were going, I couldn't bring myself to. And now I couldn't, not with this happening.

Just as quickly as I made the final decision to leave the Cullens with Emmett for awhile, I made the decision to find Bella. My movement was fluid and I could tell everyone was jealous as I walked out of the store down the street to where I had seen Angela last. I wouldn't need to go to the girl; if Bella was fine it would make the situation worse to appear out of nowhere again and then later leave her. Instead I followed Angela's scent to a nice hotel a little farther down the street. I effortlessly made it past the doorman and front desk staff, slightly dazing them as I passed. Following Bella's scent, I walked quickly towards the room. I closed my eyes, listening for someone inside. There wasn't a sound and I could clearly make out Bella's sent, her room was empty. Her scent was over a day old. I quickly made my way in completely disregarding the electric lock on the door. I stiffened slightly as I looked around the room, cds and clothes were tossed haphazardly everywhere. Something drew me to the corner of the room and I quickly crossed it towards a note on the bedside table. I immediately knew the elegant scrawl of 'I need some time to myself, sorry.' was not in Bella's messy script. I had seen Bella's homework more than enough to know her penmanship was almost illegible to even vampires. I quickly brought the note up to my nose, my eyes widening at what I found. "Vampire." I glanced around the room quickly. I could smell him everywhere now that I noticed. He came in alone and recently. So, where was she? Obviously Bella did have the worst luck.

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**(Bella POV)**

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I woke up with my heart pounding in my head completely confused. I was cold and slightly damp. Glancing up I could tell I was lying on stone and it was dark in the room I was in. Light from torches or some type of light source seemed to be glowing from several feet farther into the room. The cold, wet, stone on my back caused a shiver to course through my body. I wasn't dressed to be lying on stone. To tell the truth I wasn't even dressed appropriately for public. My club clothes seemed modest in the club, but not to the general public. Or at least I didn't deem them appropriate for the general public. I thought back to my last memory. I gasped slight, the vampire.

"Oh my dear, you're awake." I could see an outline of a man moving towards me, a mass of bodies moving with him, steps behind. He smiled gleefully and waved his arms in a slightly exaggerated manner.

I could feel my eyes widen slightly as I spotted his blood red eyes. Then I felt recognition fall upon me. I knew who this was.

"Dearest, I am Aro. Please if you would, I would rather speak to you in the upright position." He finally stopped a few feet from my fallen form.

The words escaped my lips without my brain's permission, "Volturi." I recognized them from that painting in Carlisle's study. This wrinkled vampire was one of the three elders from the painting.

Aro grimaced slightly, "As you said, she is well versed, Demetri."

I stayed on the floor craning my head backwards to look up at the vampire in front of me. His skin was a papery white; it was amazing that it didn't fall to the floor when he moved. Suddenly strong arms grasped under my arms pulling me from the floor and on to my feet. I glanced behind me to find the vampire from the club standing there. So his name must be Demetri, a very Russian name.

He smiled at me slightly before turning his attention back to the older vampire. His gaze reminded me of a little boy waiting for praise, "She is, Master, but I brought her here because I could not get an essence from her mind. She is different. This little one blocks me as a human."

Aro smiled again as he reached his long hand forward towards me. I truly wanted to find out what his papery skin felt like. Would it be as hard as Ed-Demetri's behind me? Or would it crumble. The thought seemed entirely inappropriate given the situation, but I couldn't berate myself. When had I ever had an appropriate response to a vampire? Never. Even right after Jasper attacked me. I was more concerned about everyone other than myself and getting the hell out of there.

"Please, dear one, touch my hand."

My hand seemed to gain a mind of its own as it started to move towards the waiting hand. My mind screamed that this was probably a bad idea. What if he could read minds like Edward and only needed a touch? Or what if this touch would kill me? I just couldn't stop myself. Curiosity got the best of me when my hand met his. While his eyebrows knitted in confusion my other hand moved to grasp his. The skin was remarkable. It was loose by rock hard.

He looked behind me, "Very interesting indeed, Demetri. She seems able to block me, also." With a small nod from him everything went dark again.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks again for everything guys! Please review this chapter and tell me how I'm doing! I hope that it didn't get too stereotypical! **

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	4. Vampire

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Chibi-Kari: Once again thanks for all the reviews! I hope you like this chapter. I wanted to make it longer, but just couldn't bring myself to do so. I don't own, obviously. Oh and say goodbye to Rosalie for now…and I think this is the last time I'm going to have her POV for the rest of the story. I hope you're liking it. I don't know when the next chapter will be out seeing as I'm at a bit of a loss of which way I want to turn to get where I need to go. Edit 7/8/09

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Let Go

**Chapter 4 – Vampire**

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**(Rosalie's POV)**

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I stood perfectly still; I just couldn't decide what to do. Should I call my family? Should I try to find Bella myself? Should I tell Emmett now? Was I standing here wasting all the time Bella had left? My mind was moving a million miles an hour, trying to find a solution to this mess. The smell of the vampire cleared my racing thoughts. I quickly tried to place if I had ever smelt him, whoever he was. I knew all the vegetarian vampires. This vampire was not one of them. Bella had no hope. She has to be dead. But why would this vampire want to make it seem like she ran away?

I shrugged lightly; maybe he or she just wanted to stay on the good side of the Volturi. I dropped the note back on the table and crossed the room quickly opening the door and closing it softly behind me. I wouldn't do anything about this. I couldn't, it would make things even more complicated. The note would make it so she wouldn't be reported as missing; no one would catch wind of this. Sure the chief and Bella's mother would be upset, but just accept it as teenage rebellion or whoever they choose to justify the note. Carlisle and Esme would never know. None of my family would find out about this. If she wasn't dead already she would be soon enough. The only decision I made was to walk back down the streets towards the shops. It's not like I could help her if she wasn't dead, anyway. Some random vampire had her.

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3 Months Later - Bella

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I stayed huddled in the corner, perfectly still. It seemed like I had been here forever. Time meant nothing to me, days blended into weeks and I could no longer sense much of anything; I was so weak. I was hoping they would give up and kill me soon.

Everyday was the same. One of the guards would bring in a person and leave them cowering in the room with me. I wouldn't move, couldn't move. I couldn't make a mistake. I wouldn't drink from a human. I refused from the very first moment; I just couldn't do that. I made a vow when I was with the Cullens, even though that vow is now null and void, I still couldn't go back on it. I could never murder a human being with a family just like mine. They deserved a full life just like I did. Just because I had mine robbed from me didn't mean I could rob someone of their life. It wasn't fair. I was to the point where I couldn't even remember why I wanted to be a vampire in the first place. If I had known it was going to be like this I would have turned away from Edward the first day and never thought of him again.

I heard the tell tale squeak of the door alerting me to one of the guards coming. I was hoping it would be Demetri. Even though he had brought me into this hell, he was still the kindest. He would hold the struggling human before coming to the center of the room and looking at me with an apology just hiding carefully behind his mask, but clear enough for me to see. After standing there for a minute he would leave the human here like the rest, locking the door.

I would be stuck with them for hours, days maybe. A few tried to make small talk with me. Asking if I knew a way out. Asking why we were here. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. I just couldn't take the chance. If I looked at them too long I would start to see the blood running under their skin. I couldn't focus on them too hard or I could hear the blood rushing through their veins as if I was standing next to a waterfall. I couldn't take the chance of hurting these innocent people. These monsters didn't discriminate with who they brought in. I could feel my body shudder in dry sobs as I remembered.

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I had been huddled in the corner for hours when the little guard, Jane, walked in. She smiled at me, all of her teeth gleaming in the florescent lights of the room. She loved to smile brightly when she was going to do something that would cause another unbearable pain. I heard a high pitched scream come from behind her. With a flick of her wrist, that I wouldn't have been able to distinguish if I had still been human; she threw a little boy to the ground. He couldn't have been more than two. He looked up at me with wide eyes as he tried to scoot away from Jane. I wanted to help him; wanted to go near him, to protect him, but I couldn't risk it. His green eyes found mine as he tried to scoot faster, into a far corner away from both of us. It hurt that this innocent child had to be so afraid. And afraid of me.

_Just as quickly as she threw him, Jane bounded over to him and grabbed him by his blonde hair. I could hear him start to sob before I saw the actual tears. He was terrified and I was just as frightened for him. He didn't deserve this. Jane glanced at me before turning back to the boy. She sat in the middle of the room pulling the boy into her lap. Her eyes made contact with mine and she held them there as she wrapped her mouth securely around his neck. She didn't even let the blood's sickeningly sweet smell permeate the air. She drained the struggling child in front of me. I couldn't look away and I couldn't help but stare at the child as he whimpered out for his mother. Crying until the last moment._

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I closed my eyes again, praying for the sound of the child's pleas to escape my vampire mind. To leave me and never haunt me again. I don't think I will ever find anything as horrifying as that. I thought loosing Edward was the hardest thing to do, but now I know it wasn't. Watching that child die and knowing I could have and should have saved him haunted me. I closed my eyes and could still see his green eyes. But what had made it worse was the calling of the monster inside me. It screamed that that little blonde haired green eyed boy was food and he would be sweet. The sweetest I would taste. That terrified me more than anything the Volturi could do to me.

The door slammed into the wall…this was new. Caius entered the door. I hadn't seen him often, only once really. It was the first time I had refused to eat. He entered with Marcus and Aro to try and convince me that I was not acting in a natural way. His footsteps bounded as he stepped into the room holding a young man in to the side. His skin and hair clearly identified him as Italian and no more than 25 years old, but it seemed his ankles were broken and he slumped to one knee as Caius held him up by the neck.

His eyes narrowed at me as I brought my eyes up to meet his, "This ends now, Isabella. We cannot have you pouting around. You will feed and we will not kill you. We will feed you against your will if we have to."

I opened my mouth breathing in slightly, the man in front of me smelled delicious. I wouldn't give in. I stopped my breath when I had enough to speak, "I won't feed off of a human. I can't kill an innocent."

Caius laughed, "Oh he's not innocent." He swung the man forward violently, "He killed his wife and child just hours ago. All for money. I don't see how anyone could call that innocent. Can you, Isabella?"

I swallowed, it was horrible. To kill your loved ones seemed entirely unimaginable, "I don't have the right to sentence him to death."

Caius just rolled his eyes, "I'm his judge and jury. You are only the executioner…and my dear, you will kill him. I am not as patient as my brothers. You will do this today."

It all happened so fast I didn't even understand it myself. His finger came out and ran across the man's neck in a gesture that seemed like a caress until I smelled it. The smell of his blood ran through the air before the first drop eased over the sliced skin. I couldn't stop myself as my body lunged forward. I tried to stop breathing, stop moving, but nothing worked. I reached him in seconds and my mouth was secured even faster. I sobbed as the sweet liquid quenched the thirst that had been burning in the back of my throat.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks for reading and please review. I know I got a little tiny bit stereotypical in the last chapter. I hope I broke stereotypes in this one. I haven't read anything like what I just wrote…but that doesn't mean it's not out there! Thanks again!**

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	5. The Volturi

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Chibi-Kari: Thanks for sticking with me for my little soul searching hiatus. I have finally figured out where the next three or four chapters are going. And they should get a little longer. Because I have a time skip this is going to be a little filler of a chapter. And as I promised earlier…

******we have reached Jasper time****! Obviously I don't own Twilight otherwise I wouldn't be writing fanfiction…or would I? Oh btw my other Twilight story got nominated for the Twilight Has Never Been This Funny Contest. So if you haven't checked out my story feel free to…and if you have and loved it, please vote for it. P.S. I have a second chapter in the works for it and am thinking of making it three chapters and leaving it at that…because popular demand (aka PMs and reviews) asked for more. Well enjoy! Edit 7/8/09**

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Let Go

**Chapter 5 – The Volturi**

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**Bella's POV**

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Three years have passed. A blink of an eye for a vampire. It was amazing how fast time seemed to go after those first few months in this life. After that first man, I found ways to justify continuing. In the back of my mind I know it's wrong, but it's too hard. Human blood quenches the burn like nothing else. And humans can be so cruel and evil to each other. I'm only helping by ridding the world of its leeches. Murders. Pedophiles. Rapists. They all deserve to die anyway. I'm giving them a higher calling. Making their lives mean something. Giving these lesions on society a purpose and giving the good humans a better chance at life.

My mind started whispering how wrong it was to follow this train of thought again, but I had to justify it. I had to so that I could continue on. My only hope was that I never came in contact with the Cullens. I could only imagine their disappointment. I came into this life knowing there was another way to live and yet I continued on in my path. But it wouldn't be the first time I wasn't good enough for them. Edward proved that to me. They all proved that to me. They didn't need me and I certainly didn't need them.

But I was doing good. I was helping fellow vampires. Demetri and I take care of disturbances that could expose us. I find it laughable that Aro partnered me with Demetri. He said it was because we made a good team, but everyone knows that I could handle all of this on my own. The only reason I was partnered with him was because if I decided to go awol Demetri couldn't find me…couldn't attach to the tenor of my thoughts. And I am too powerful to let go.

Aro never imagined I would be this powerful. I almost can't believe it either. As a human I was so plain. So average. But now, now I could take out the Volturi if I wanted to. And they all knew it. But poor Jane had to learn the hard way.

Right now I was running through the western United States with Demetri. The south had been rising again and needed taking care of. With a few quick fires and harsh words in Texas we were headed north. This vampire, Maria, just never seemed to learn. Or so Demetri said. There seemed to be some newborns up there too. A bit odd that it was so far north…but nothing Demetri hadn't seen before. Or so he said. Demetri said a lot.

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Eleazar's POV

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Standing in the forest with my coven facing twenty or so newborns was not what I had ever expected to be doing, at least not in the Alaskan wilderness. In my hundreds of years of existence I had never expected this. Especially not this far north, but nothing had been going as I had expected the last few months.

It all started that fateful day a year and a half ago when Carlisle called asking if we would take Jasper in for awhile. Of course the answer was an immediate yes, but when he explained the circumstances I was a little confused. He has said that Alice and Jasper had fallen apart. Falling apart was how human adults explained divorce to their children. I had never heard it applied to vampires who mated for life and when Jasper showed up I could tell it didn't apply to him either. I could still picture his expression when he stood in our doorway. It was a mixture between anger and defeat. His anger at Alice was so apparent and intense that we were almost afraid to delve deeper into the story of what happened. Just looking at him and hearing what he said made it obvious that Alice and Jasper hadn't "fallen apart" as my compassionate friend had put it. They absolutely tore each other apart leaving nothing of their relationship to salvage.

Kate and Tanya leaned quickly to avoid speaking of her at all. And the human girl, Bella, who was the root of all of this, was an even worse subject. The one time Irina brought the human up I thought Jasper might kill her. He was adamant that none of this was her fault. That this Bella could not be blamed for Edward, Alice, or his own suffering, nor could she be blamed for Laurent's disappearance. Which personally I found as a good riddance; that was one vampire who could never stick to animals. He enjoyed the suffering he inflicted on humans, although he would like you to believe he didn't. How he could convince Irina that he loved her was beyond me. A vampire never leaves their mate. Although I'm certain Edward would try to argue with me on this simple truth. Tanya, herself, believed that Edward was in love with the human. She said she had seen how Edward was when he thought of her. I couldn't bring myself to agree. He would have never been able to leave the human girl if he felt love on the mate level, granted that may be impossible for a human and vampire. They could have shared what would be as close as the species difference could allow them to feel, but I didn't quite believe that either. The entire situation was vastly out of control and was, quite frankly, tiring me out. A simple human girl ruined a good many lives, not that I could place all the blame on her. I don't believe in picking sides before hearing all the information…and at this point the girl herself seemed to be painted as a casualty of the situation, at least by Jasper and Tanya.

But at this moment, I couldn't be more thankful that Jasper was here among us. We would need him if this fight ever started. He had more experience in this subject than any of us did combined. We had received a call from Alice warning of newborns approaching, so I had called on the Volturi to help us, but there were still a day away and the newborns had arrived sooner than we had expected. Or sooner than Alice had predicted. Her visions were becoming less and less precise, which was bothering Carlisle to no end.

Either way I ended up here crouched next to Jasper, in front of the women who were in similar fighting stances, waiting for the newborns to make their move. It was amazing that the twenty or so had yet to advance on us. Instead they stood about one hundred feet in front of us salivating and growling, twitching periodically. This had been going on for almost a half an hour. Whoever had created these vampires had an amazing amount of control over them. I scanned the crowed a fourth time looking for their leader. If we could only get some explanation as to why they were here we may be able to reason with the sire and avoid fighting completely. But once again my search was fruitless. It almost seemed as if the sire didn't exist. All of these were too young and inexperienced. I just prayed that they hadn't sired each other. If that was the case there could be countless others out there.

Just as the first started to advance two figures gracefully passed us to stand in front of the group. Thank God the Volturi had arrived early.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks for reading…and although I love seeing the massive amount of story alert subscriptions I get, I would rather see reviews…R&R!**

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	6. Massacre

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Chibi-Kari: Well I meant to get this out last week, actually, as a late birthday present to myself…but I injured my leg and was on pain killers. And then I decided that going to the beach was a good idea over Memorial Day long weekend and got sunburnt. Thus nothing got done last week nor this past weekend. So today when I broke my shredder in my office I decided to take a break from working and write this! I don't own and I hope I get more reviews (seriously…I'm starting to feel a bit bad about my story). Thanks for reading…and I'm about to take you on a journey…this is where the story really begins. Strap yourself in and enjoy the ride. Edit 7/8/09

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 6 – Massacre**

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**(Eleazar's POV)**

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I glanced backwards slightly waiting for the other Volturi members to come through the trees. After a few moments I realized that all they had spared us were these two. Granted I knew one of the members well and knew he could hold his own, but not against that many. And who was this woman? I hadn't seen her before. I had well expected to see Jane here beaming quietly as she dropped several members of the large group in front of us. Behind her would be four dark shadows, one of which would be Felix, ready for battle. In all my years I had never expected the Volturi to send so little people. They would never risk losing any of their guard and always sent them out in groups of five or so. I guess we shall be fighting side by side with them. I crouched a little farther down preparing to join them.

Demetri glanced back at me before a wide grin spread across his face, "We shall be handling it from here, Eleazer. No need to worry yourself. This won't last long."

The woman broke ranks and started to walk towards the group. She was short and slim, if she wasn't a vampire I would be worried about her. Even knowing she was a vampire couldn't stop me from wondering why Demetri was allowing her to act on her own. Her steps were light and quick. There was no hesitance or trepidation in any of her actions; she just approached them whilst glancing over the group.

"Who is the oldest?" Her voice rang out like bells causing the group to flinch suddenly.

Demetri nodded slightly towards one of the vampires on the edge and then everything started almost faster than I could catch. The entire group made a jerky movement that reminded me so much of that God Forsaken movie that Tanya loves to watch, the Matrix. They were all leaning backwards like when the main character dodged the bullets. The female vampire walked forward as the group of vampires before her remained frozen in place. She walked along the front of the group as they growled and howled at her. A few of the vampires were even whimpering and crying, clearly shocked at the development. I didn't like her being that close, I had no idea what they were doing, but at any moment I was sure they could attack her.

I tried to reach forward with my power to see if she had any special abilities that could be causing this. I blanched slightly as I felt absolutely nothing coming from the woman in front of me. "A shield?" I glanced up at Demetri who had looked back at me smiling wider than before.

"Just wait and see." His eyes twinkled mischievously.

She finally stopped in front of the young vampire Demetri had identified as the oldest of the group. Pushing her sunglasses to the crown of her head she swiftly stood on her tiptoes and leaned over his body to look into his eyes. She had her back towards me but I could tell her stance was perfectly relaxed while he blanched when he looked at her face.

"Why are you here?" Her bell like voice broke through the air again.

He had dark blonde hair that fell into his eyes even in his awkward position. Standing upright he would probably be around six feet and had a muscular build similar to Jasper's. He growled out "Like I would tell you."

She laughed, the musical sound echoing through the area starkly contrasting the growls and whimpers coming off of the newborn group. It sounded completely out of place, "See. You're treating this like it's a question that you have a choice in answering. You don't. Now I'll ask you once again, why the fuck are you here?" I blanched slightly at that. The word fuck sounded completely out of context with her tone of voice.

"What part of I won't tell you do you not understand, Bitch?" He growled out. Suddenly he was screaming in pain, frozen in place.

"Demetri, I was under the impression that during the change the venom repaired all imperfections. It seems that it can only do so much to the human brain. This one is still slow."

Demetri laughed wholeheartedly at her small joke, "Well you're helping him smarten up aren't you, little one?"

She laughed again as I saw a piece of white stone fall to the ground. It was one of the boy's fingers. I glanced back at the female vampire, but she hadn't touched him at all.

"How about we try this one more time…or we could continue on like this. Either way; your choice. What are you doing here?" She slowed down her statement like she was talking with someone that didn't understand the English language, clearly mocking him.

He ground his teeth momentarily, "To kill them." He eyes gestured towards us.

"No shit, Sherlock. That wasn't what I was really asking was it? I know you knew that. You really must be slow." She glanced down at his finger wiggling helplessly on the ground, "You know that one finger always looks so lonely. You know that song, right? One is the loneliest number."

"No. No please." He screamed again as another finger hit the ground.

"So do you want to try and answer the question again or should we give the ground a hand?" She giggled to herself as Demetri looked back at us and rolled his eyes.

"Revenge. Our creator told us we needed to kill them." He glanced at his hand before switching to the fingers twitching on the ground.

The female leaned back and clapped, "Great answer. What's your name?"

"Riley."

"Now, Riley. Why would you go along with this plan? Didn't you think someone would die? Do your little friends here mean so little to you? And the Volturi…didn't you know we would come after you? You are breaking our major rule of being discreet."

"I don't know who the Volturi are." He honestly looked like he was telling her the truth. I shook my head. How could a sire forget to tell them of the Volturi? Even all the covens in the south had the fear of the Volturi in them.

"Well you're talking to one right now, Riley. I'm a member of the Volturi. We'd be what you'd call the ruling party…a rather militant group to be truthful. We make the rules and we enforce the rules. You…you're not playing by them. Do you know what the penalty for that is?"

"Please I need to get back to my creator, my mate. Please. I was only following orders. I didn't know."

"You know many people believe in that whole ignorance saves you, The United States Judicial System, Christianity, but I don't. I do believe in working with other vampires though. Who is your creator…your mate as you call her?" The female vampire leaned back over Riley as he seemed to cower without moving.

"Her name is Victoria."

"Victoria? Flaming red hair?" The female vampire's voice rose as she questioned the boy in front of her…they had to have been changed at about the same age, barely 18 if even that.

"You know her?" Riley's voice was lined with hope. Obviously he thought that this vampire in front of him would show him leniency since they both knew his creator.

"Only too well." With that the female vampire brought her sunglasses back over her eyes and turned to walk towards us.

Even with my vision I couldn't tell exactly what happened. Within seconds sickening clunks resounded through the area as body parts fell to the ground. In less than ten seconds the entire group, save one, was laying in pieces without ever having a hand laid on them. Demetri stepped forward as he lit the group on fire. The smell of incense clouding my senses as the purple smoke started to gather.

"What about this girl?" Demetri asked as he gestured to a little brunette standing at the other end of the field staring wide eyed and shaking at the plumes of smoke.

"Oh her? She's going to run back to Victoria and tell her two things. First, the Volturi is now involved. Second, that an old friend is waiting to see her." The female vampire glanced back over her shoulder, before the newborn took off into the surround forest.

Demetri nodded, "So we are staying, little one?"

She smiled ruefully, "Oh yes. There are more newborns. And if there aren't any currently, there will be soon. And Victoria cannot go without being punished. She is not only creating newborns to destroy other covens, but she is not teaching them our ways. All punishable."

"But there is more?"

"Oh yes, she and I have a little business to finish. Denali coven, I hope you will be hospitable to us as we wait?" She continued towards the house passing directly between my family.

I opened my mouth slowly looking towards, Tanya who had stood up and was just blankly staring at the dwindling fire, "Yes. Of course you are welcome to stay with us for as long as you need."

Jasper, who had come up next to me, made a step towards the retreating vampire, "Bella?"

She glanced over her shoulder towards him, "I think we should all go inside. I'm sure it's been a long day for your coven."

Demetri passed between us following her before stopping momentarily and sending a fleeting glance towards Jasper.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks for reading please review! I'll try to update sometime next week…but I can't promise. I'm heading to Disney today and I won't be back until the weekend is over.**

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	7. Bella

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Chibi-Kari: Sorry for the delay. I've actually had part of this written for awhile but I wanted to read through the entire story again today to make sure that nothing conflicted. Which it didn't, thank God! But I noticed some God awful grammar mistakes which I will be going back and fixing. Well I don't own…obviously. And once again I beg for reviews. They can even say "update" or "this sux". I don't care! Just review. *pleads shamelessly* Oh this chapter is longer…I wanted to make it even longer, but I'm just not one to make long chapters. Also I'm thinking of making this story a bit lemony...what do you all think?

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 7 - Bella**

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**(Bella's POV)**

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I could hear them following behind me as we made our way into their house. The one thing I never wanted to happen just did. I saw a Cullen. Jasper was here. If he was here Alice had to be here…and the others. They would know. They would know about my lifestyle choice. I panicked internally while I tried to convince myself that looking back at Jasper was a worse idea than staying here. I couldn't show them that their leaving had affected me. I couldn't give Edward that power. I made my choice; I wouldn't turn my back on it. Not like he did all those years ago. None of them mattered any more. Their opinion couldn't matter to me. If I let they affect me there would be no turning back.

Demetri came up beside me quietly before glancing back at the group. He leaned over and whispered to keep our conversation between us, "The blonde one knows who you are. He is not of this coven. Who is he?"

I sighed. I knew Demetri would pick up on this. I was surprised he was asking about Jasper and not Victoria, though. He knew I knew about vampires before I was changed. It was one of the first things he found out in that club. I hadn't given him more than that. Although he did discover that I only wanted to hunt animals at the beginning, a crazy thought about staying true to the Cullens. Demetri was a quick one. He had solved the equation before I had even read it. He knew these vampires didn't hunt humans and I hadn't wanted to. I internally begged whatever God there was that Demetri wouldn't say anything more about it.

"Just a vampire I've met before. No one of importance I can promise you that." I picked up speed as I opened the door to the house. I cringed slightly as I heard the drywall splinter as the door rebounded off the wall. "We're gunna have to give them some money for that." I said as I made my way into the living room and found my way into a plush crimson chair.

Demetri sat on the couch across from me. His size easily taking up a great portion of the sofa, "Nah we saved their skin. They should be honored by our presence alone."

We laughed loudly to ourselves as the rest of the party made their way into the living room. Quickly Jasper sat next to Demetri and tried to catch my eyes. I kept my shaded eyes anywhere from his. I knew that as soon as I look into those eyes I will feel the guilt that has been trying to eat at the back of my mind for years. The guilt for not trying to find them. For choosing humans. For everything. The guilt I pushed down by so gladly reminding it that Edward left me and that's how I got here in the first place.

I leaned back a little farther, smirking as I caught Demetri's eyes. "Aro needs to get me one of these things."

Demetri's laugh boomed through the room, "Yeah he can set it right next to his throne."

I glanced around the room. Everyone seemed to be equally bewildered. "Hell yeah, Demetri! You know he would if I asked."

Demetri shook his head slightly, "Casius would replace all of their thrones with those chairs if you asked for one, little one."

I couldn't help it…my hands covered my mouth and I leaned back giggling like a little girl. Demetri was good at doing this. I had never done this as a human, I was too busy taking care of everyone else. But Demetri had this way about him that made me feel like a little girl. It was like he was my big brother, protector, he always felt a need to keep me happy. When it was just the two of us he was a 10 year old and I was probably around 8. Horribly juvenile but having the time of our lives.

The atmosphere in the room suddenly shifted. An absolute calm and seriousness spread over the room knocking the happiness from me completely. I rolled my eyes as Demetri's widened. He clearly hadn't been expecting that. I finally glanced at the only Cullen who had decided to make their presence known in the room, "Yes, Jasper?"

He had leaned forward during my laughfest with Demetri, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands taking residence under his chin. If he wasn't careful he was going to topple right over the edge of the couch and on to the floor, "Is that really you, Bella?"

I leaned back, rolling my eyes, a movement I knew he couldn't see. Sarcasm practically dripped off my voice, "No. I'm the Queen of England. And that strapping man sitting next to you is Prince Philip."

Demetri leaned back crossing his arms, "Yes. I had to give up my title and religion to marry that beautiful queen across from me, but it was worth it."

I rolled my eyes as Demetri smirked at me. The rest of the room continued to stare wide eyed. I got the impression that no one had expected the Volturi to act like this. Things were always light between Demetri and me. It was just how we worked. I think Aro secretly enjoyed our banter and stuck us together because of this. I snuck a glance at Jasper. He was staring intently at me. "Yes, Jasper. It's me."

He suddenly stood, his hands fisted at his sides. If I doubted my abilities at all I would have been very nervous by Jasper's body language. The scars peppering his skin were a reminder that he was dangerous and the determination in his eyes was disconcerting. He was very menacing when he wanted to be. And at this moment he really wanted to be, "Why? How?" As quickly as he took on that harsh look he fell back on to the couch with a thump. A lost look wiping all the determination away, "I don't understand."

I couldn't help the bubbling resentment that overtook me at that look. Why did he care? No one cared enough to stop it. No one cared when the Volturi tortured me nor did they care when Demetri kidnapped me. No one came. No one saved me or comforted me. I was abandoned by them when I really needed them. And it wasn't like they didn't know. Alice knew. She was probably there that day in New York. Demetri told me he had seen a vampire with golden eyes going to my hotel room, but they just walked away leaving me to suffer that way. How could Alice leave me that way? To get turned like that? To suffer like that? And now Jasper had the gall to pretend like he had no idea what happened to me! It was unacceptable. I wouldn't even be here helping them now that I knew they were the targets if I hadn't wanted to take out Victoria for my own reasons.

A low growl erupted from somewhere in my chest, something that didn't happen often. Demetri looked over at me worriedly, "Why do you care, Jasper?"

His head snapped up, the look of determination back in his eyes, "Because you're family, Bella."

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. "Family? Please. Like any of you cared or for that matter care what happens to me until I'm standing in front of you. I was really easy to forget and walk away from. I don't think that counts as family, Jasper."

Once again Jasper looked lost, "What are you talking about? We've done everything for you!"

"Everything? I hardly see that as the truth. Actually that's the farthest thing from the truth. You guys left me. Left me to fend for myself and left me to suffer."

Demetri looked down quickly. He still felt horrible about what happened in my first few months of becoming a vampire. I felt a little bad that they had been thrown in his face accidentally. I'd just have remind him later that all had been forgiven the moment it happened. I could never hold anything against Demetri. He didn't mean for anything that happened to me to happen.

His look of shame did not go unnoticed by Jasper. Jasper quickly turned on the couch to face him and growled at Demetri. Demetri snapped his head up and let a growl take over him in response. Demetri wasn't one to turn down a challenge and that was what Jasper was inadvertently doing, "What did you do to her?"

I could tell they were only moments away from taking down the house if I didn't stop this. I sighed, "He didn't do anything. Will you two get a hold of yourselves? I'm sure this coven would like to keep their house standing and I've already done enough damage to it without you two knocking out walls." I gestured over towards the front entrance and gave an apologetic smile towards the male that Demetri had been speaking to in the clearing.

Jasper had the sense to back off, but Demetri just looked miffed. He always hated when he never got to finish a fight, something else that was almost a constant reminder of Emmett. We sat in silence for several moments before someone finally broke it.

Her long strawberry blonde curls bounced slightly around her beautiful face as she leaned forward. She was around my age or a bit younger, truly a beautiful girl, "You're Edward's Bella."

I stared at her a moment. From the information I was given about the Denali I knew this was their 'leader' Tanya. And obviously they had some information about me. "No. I'm my own Bella." I raised my eyebrow slightly challenging her statment.

She leaned back, her hands rising in a defensive non confrontational position. She shook her head slightly, "That's not what I meant. I meant you are the human that Edward loved." She looked towards Jasper for confirmation, but I didn't even spare him a glance to see what he did.

I didn't need to hear or see any more of these pretences. Edward never loved me and I knew it. Every person in this room had to know it too. They were just adding salt to a still open wound. Stupid human Bella thought the amazing vampire was in love with her. I scoffed slightly and then turned towards the door. A hunt and maybe a little more would allow me to clear my mind. Human blood always seemed to solve my problems…and if I could get more from the situation it was only better. "Once again it seems we don't agree, Tanya. I'm going for a hunt." I glanced at Demetri to tell him not to follow. He never liked to hunt with me when I decided a little more than blood was necessary that day. He nodded slightly and I knew he understood what I was going to do.

Jasper stood, "Can I come with you?"

I glanced towards him, "We don't hunt the same game." I stepped out the door before they could say anymore. I didn't need to hear his condescending response to that. I didn't need to see his judgmental look. He wasn't any better, attacking me on my birthday over a paper cut. I was better than that. I wasn't in the mood for any of this. And I couldn't waste my time thinking about how Jasper would feel about my meal choice…him or any of the Cullens for that matter. In this moment I actually hoped they found it revolting.

I let that train of thought end there. I had bigger things to think about than the Cullens and Jasper. Victoria was much more important that they were. I would have her head before long and how pleasant it would be. Tearing her to shreds would allow me to let go of my past completely. And to give her what's been coming to her for a long time, especially after what she did two years ago.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: What did Victoria do two years ago (remember Bella was changed almost three years ago)? And where are the other Cullens? Please read and review. We're about to be joined by some more Cullens, get Jasper's POV, and possibly have a lemon or so…What do you think? Please review!**

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	8. Jasper

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**Chibi-Kari: I gave you a long chapter this time around. Not as long as I wanted, but I didn't want to go into too many details. If I get ahead of myself there won't be any way for Jasper and Bella's relationship to grow and become a lovely love! Oh and some Cullens may arrive in the next chapter! I don't own, but I hope you guys are enjoying this. I was blown away by the amazing reviews which prompted me to get this chapter out extra fast. So more reviews = faster releases!**

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 8 – Jasper**

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**(Jasper's POV)**

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Here I was crouched in front of at least 20 newborn vampires a day early was not part of my plan. I raced through my mind trying to find a strategy that could still give us a victory. I had planned for tomorrow. Alice had told us that they would be here tomorrow. My hands clenched tighter as I eyed the group in front of me. When was the last time Alice had told the truth? Maybe never…she did tell me that we were meant to be with the Cullens. That we would be happy with them. That wasn't true. Instead everything was ruined. Bella's life. My life. All of our lives. And now the Denali's were being dragged into this because Alice couldn't get this right. If only she had been right the Volturi would be here and so would Emmett and Rosalie. We wouldn't be facing this alone. There used to be a time where I would have never bet against Alice…now I find that I always bet against her and win big.

There was one thing I didn't understand. Why weren't these newborns attacking? Why couldn't they just get this over with? I was ready for this to be over. I wasn't ready to die and I wouldn't. No, I was ready for all of this mess to be over with. It took me years after leaving, but I finally feel secure enough in my dietary choice to go live on my own. But no. These damn newborns have to show up and attach me to the Cullens again. Alice couldn't even tell us what this mess was about. It made no sense at all. They shouldn't be this far north.

The only thing I could do was take care of these people that had done so much for me. The Denali's had done so much for me during this time. There was no way I could abandon them. I would fight and protect them. But right now I was doing a pretty good job of failing. I would rather face Alice's wrath again before facing these newborns unprepared like this.

I heard a rushing in the distance, coming from behind. I tensed a moment thinking the newborns could have implemented an ambush before glancing at them again. They weren't quite controlled enough for that. As they got closer I could hear from the varied footfalls that there were two vampires coming quickly from behind, a man and a woman. I let out some of the breath I was holding. It had to be Emmett and Rosalie a day early. Emmett had been rather excited when they were informed about a coming attack. Emmett would never turn down a fight. Actually, he would instigate one every time he had a chance. But to tell the truth I could hear in his voice how much he missed the family. Rose taking him away like that hit him hard. He was already upset enough about Bella and then we added the fracture of the family. I was just happy that Rose had taken him away before it got that bad. Before everything had shattered.

I was startled out of my thoughts as two vampires entered the clearing and passed by us quickly. I was right when I thought it was a man and woman, but it shocked me that it wasn't my siblings. I felt a rush of relief from Eleazar and realized that these had to be the Volturi that we were waiting for. Thank God they were a day early. These were professionals. This would be an easy win now.

The relief that was spreading through me quickly turned to panic as I saw only one vampire walk towards the group. I couldn't stop myself from standing up. I knew who this was. It was impossible. Bella, Edward's Bell. The human I attacked. Here she was walking towards a group of crazed newborns as a vampire. In this moment I wanted nothing more than to run up and stop her, to protect her life family is supposed to but I froze. Here she was so different yet so much the same. I don't know how I knew it was her at first glance, but I did. Vampire suited her well and she walked with grace and confidence that she certainly lacked as a human. I couldn't bear to take my eyes off of her for one moment. I couldn't let her walk out of my life.

I barely noticed as the newborns jerked backwards. I was too busy watching her walk towards them as if she was merely strolling through the forest. I was no longer paying much attention to the newborns until their overwhelming fear struck me. It was so strong I almost collapsed on my knees. I ground my teeth together and focused on Bella once again. They were terrified of her. Whatever was happening to them she was doing. I heard the growls and sarcastic remarks, but all of that was lost on me by the sound of her voice. It was real. I just couldn't seem to grasp that this was happening.

She was standing before me looking as an angel but causing fear and pain. It was so different than the compassionate, self sacrificing Bella I knew. This Bella felt no remorse as she removed the fingers from one of the vampires. With a quick step she was heading back towards us. I cringed as the group behind her fell in pieces on the ground, like a child dropping a vase. The purple fumes rose into the air as the male finished destroying the group. She continued past us as if nothing had happened. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real. This uncaring creature in front of me couldn't be Bella.

My feet brought me forward towards this woman, stopping next to Eleazar, and I called out to her, "Bella?"

She barely looked back towards me before answering that we should go inside. It was in that moment that I knew that the Bella I knew was gone. I just hoped there was a semblance of that girl still left in this vampire. I don't know what she had been through, but right now that was what I wanted to know more than anything.

We started to follow them back to the house when Kate opened her mouth, "That was awesome. I do not want to get on her bad side."

Eleazar laughed slightly, "The Volturi aren't known to be easily beaten, but that girl right there. She didn't even need Demetri around. With her the Volturi are going to be uncontrollable." He shook his head slightly at that thought. He never went into details, but something about his time on the guard didn't sit right with him. I had heard him more than once tell Carmen that the Volturi were waiting for something. Some type of an excuse. I never heard more than that.

We crossed the last distance between the house quickly and entered to find Bella and Demetri in the living room laughing. I sat down next to him, barely glancing at him. I let my eyes wander around the room before, a reflex from my time in Maria's army. It was always safest to be aware of where everyone in the room was. I slowly slid my gaze back to Bella. She was laughing in a way that I had never heard her laugh. Edward had never seen her like this, none of us had. It hurt to know that we didn't really know this girl that Edward thought of as a mate.

The joy was eating away at me slowly. How could she be so happy when she wasn't with us? We had brought her into this world and years later she comes strolling back into our lives happy! It was like we had meant nothing to her. Not one of us had meant anything to her. I clenched my fists before leaning forward, my elbows on my knees, and pulling all the joy out of the room. I had to get answers and I would get them now.

Her head snapped in my direction as her expression fell into something akin to aggravation. "Yes, Jasper?" It was in that moment that I realized I couldn't read her emotions. I was momentarily shocked as I reached out again towards her to try and feel anything.

I came up with another blank, "Is that really you, Bella?"

She leaned back away from me before speaking. Sarcasm coating her voice and biting into me, "No. I'm the Queen of England. And that strapping man sitting next to you is Prince Philip."

Demetri made some comment but I was too distracted to listen. It was her. I knew it was her, but she was different. I couldn't feel her, but I instinctively knew how she felt. It wasn't because I felt similar emotions, which granted I did, but it was something deeper. Our abandonment had ripped her open, but we weren't what tore her inside out.

I was already standing before she could finish verifying it was her. My fists clenched as I cursed God, Edward, everyone and everything I could think of. I needed to know what happened to her. I needed to fix it. I had to fix it. It was the only way I could move on. "Why? How?" I couldn't even complete a full sentence as my brain shifted through all the options to fix what happened. As quickly as my anger had overtaken me it subsided. I don't even know if I can do anything. I sat back on the couch. How did she even end up like this? "I don't understand." That seemed to be my life's motto these days. Nothing made sense and I was drowning.

There was a break and suddenly I could feel her again. Resentment and anger pooled around me and I quickly got caught in my own. I started thinking of Alice before Bella's voice pulled me out of the rage, "Why do you care, Jasper?"

My eyes widened and my head snapped to look at her. How could she not understand that we loved her. All of us loved her…she was family. "Because you're family, Bella."

Her resentment doubled before stifling completely and she was blank to me once again. She burst out laughing, a twisted angry laugh. It hurt more to hear it than anything she could have ever said. Bella laughed at the idea of us caring about her.

"Family? Please. Like any of you cared or for that matter care what happens to me until I'm standing in front of you. I was really easy to forget and walk away from. I don't think that counts as family, Jasper."

I couldn't believe it. What had Edward told her? Didn't she understand we left for her? We would have walked to the end of the world for her safety. "What are you talking about? We've done everything for you!"

"Everything? I hardly see that as the truth. Actually that's the farthest thing from the truth. You guys left me. Left me to fend for myself and left me to suffer."

I saw the man next to me fold into himself as guilt started to bubble off of him. He did this. He was the reason she suffered and was angry like this. I could feel it. I turned to him and growl. He looked up and returned my growl. I would stop Bella's suffering, "What did you do to her?"

He just continued to growl as I started to plan my attack on him. Bella's sigh broke through my train of thought. "He didn't do anything. Will you two get a hold of yourselves? I'm sure this coven would like to keep their house standing and I've already done enough damage to it without you two knocking out walls." She gestured towards the front door where plaster was laying on the floor. Obviously she had cracked the wall when she opened the door.

I sat back in my chair again. She was affected. The plaster by the door was proof of that. Seeing me had thrown her off. The rage calmed inside of me a little. The idea that we meant nothing to her had affected me more than anything else. As long as we meant something to her I would be okay. I could help her.

Tanya leaned forward questioning Bella. She looked over me towards me as Bella denied being Edward's. I just ignored her to stay locked on Bella. She was stronger now. Stronger than she ever would have been with Edward.

She stood up to go hunt and I knew I couldn't let her leave. If she walked out she may never come back. I heard my voice ring out into the room before I even realized I spoke, "Can I come with you?"

She barely glanced back at me before continuing out the door, "We don't hunt the same game."

I watched her through the door until she disappeared into the wilderness surrounding us.

Demetri huffed to himself and leaned back farther on to the couch. I could feel disguist trickling off of him.

I narrowed my eyes slightly, "What's your problem?"

His gaze snapped to mine, "I care about her too. Don't act like I don't. I don't like the fact that she plays with her food." He huffed and crossed his arms in a very Emmett like fashion.

I looked between the door and this vampire in front of me. He knew the answers to all the questions. "What happened?"

He sighed once again. His eyes swept the room before making their way back to me, "You don't eat humans, right?" I nodded slightly as he continued, "You must be the reason she didn't want to. Bella…she is strong. For months she didn't drink because they would not let her take an animal. And now she's like this." He gestured towards the door.

"How did she become a vampire?" I had to know what happened to her. What made her like this?

Eleazar spoke up, "She was recruited, right?"

Demetri nodded.

"Recruited?" I questioned looking between them both.

Eleazar sighed, "The Volturi sends out members to find talented humans that will make for extraordinary vampires. They are kidnapped and changed."

Demetri nodded slightly, "She proved to be even more extraordinary than we expected. Sometimes I still can't believe I found her intoxicated in a club in New York. It was just chance that I found her. But when I realized she knew about vampires I only had two options. I could kill her or recruit her. I saw something in her and couldn't bring myself to kill her. She was so pure." He frowned in the direction of the door. I could feel his affection and disappointment rolling off of him. He seemed like an older brother who didn't like the decisions his sister was making. I likened his reaction to the one Emmett would have tomorrow when he saw what had become of our Bella.

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TBC

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks for reading and once again I humbly request reviews. Oh and people have asked for lemony goodness. So when we come to that I will be raising the rating on the story.**

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	9. Bloody Chapter

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Chibi-Kari: Oh my goodness it must be the apocalypse. I'm updating again! I don't own and I never will. I will be going back and rewriting some of my older chapters…not adding new information (I think) but reworking what's already there. My writing style at the start wasn't quite as strong as I hoped. Thanks for sticking with me everyone! And I hope that you'll help me break 100 reviews with this chapter. I would be the happiest author in the world if you could do this! Love you all! Oh and in the next chapter we'll be hearing from Bella and Rosalie again!

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 9 – Bloody Chapter**

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**(Jasper's POV)**

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We sat in silence for what could have been hours or maybe mere minutes. As a vampire time normally flew by as it blurred in an unending loop. Things tended to look different, but were exactly the same. A song lyric came to mind, "Before you tell yourself it's just a different scene remember it's just different from what you've seen." That's how life was exactly. It looked different but it really wasn't. The music video on the other hand, with the party and the people being picked up because they were cardboard cutouts, wasn't anything like real life. I shook my head to clear away these thoughts. Yes they were in the back, but I really didn't need any part of my mind following such a useless thought pattern. It didn't change the fact that I could no longer sense how much time had passed and it most certainly didn't change the fact that Bella was a vampire. Not only was she a vampire. She was a vampire that was very angry with my family.

Demetri had refused to say any more than he already had about her past. Something about it not being his story to tell. I almost laughed when I heard that. It was almost exactly what Edward had said repeatedly to Bella when she had asked about any of us. Edward's reasoning was probably to stop us from getting more invested in her so that he could leave her hurt and alone. Or in some twisted way he might have thought it would stop her from becoming invested in us and hurt her less when he left. Either way I couldn't get past the feeling that he would have left her sooner or later regardless of what happened. It seemed like he was just waiting for an excuse to leave her high and dry. Then he could go back to his lamenting ways.

He acted like a martyr when he left her, like he was in a vast unimaginable amount of pain. I could tell it was smaller than he made it out to be. Edward was a drama queen at his finest and a damn pain in the ass at his worst. Actually now that I think about it he was a fucking pain in the ass the entire time I knew him. The threw a fit like a toddler when Alice took his room when he first moved in. He only got better when Bella was around. She had changed him. He let go and grew up when he was with her. It would seem like an oxymoron to everyone around me, but it was true. Edward let go of his guilt and let himself be happy for once when he was with Bella. At the same time he changed. He had a better understanding of responsibility and love. He aged and allowed himself to really connect with himself. But as soon as he left Bella he regressed. A petulant five year old would be a fitting description of what he turned into. Actually, that may be being lenient to what he had become. He was lost and angry and he did it to himself. Lashing out on me seemed like the smart thing to do, but it accomplished nothing. All that anger and hatred needed to be directed at himself. He pushed her into a damn pile of glass plates. If one of those shards had landed differently she could have died. Then he left her to fend for herself. Not something someone that had "undying love" would do. Not something I would have done if I was in her shoes.

That girl had the worst luck and we all knew it. Hell, she just proved it to me. She was reckless and it led to her becoming what she is now. If she had just stayed at home and forgotten about that useless good for nothing piece of shit none of this would have happened. Although with Victoria around she wouldn't be at home visiting her father on break from University. She would probably be dead right now. But instead she went to some club in New York and got trashed…or at least that's what I surmised from what Demetri told me. I couldn't decide if I was happier that she was a vampire and hadn't moved on since Edward or angry because she wasn't a stronger human. I had expected something more from her.

I had expected this great fire to burn within her and she come out stronger. I guess I overestimated her when I heard her voice that night. What she said to Alice had empowered me. It seemed to close the bloody chapter on my life and meant more to me than anything any of the family had ever said. She helped me stick to this way of life. It was after Carlisle had fixed her arm and Alice was getting a new shirt for her. "It's not his fault. You'll tell him that I'm not mad at him, not at all, won't you?" She hadn't felt angry at all. She was just in pain because of her arm and saddened because of my pain. She never had any hard feelings. Every time I had slipped before someone would tell me it was my fault. That I needed to be stronger. They made me feel weak and at that moment Bella made me realize I wasn't. I was strong, strong enough to get over this. It wasn't my fault that I had these feelings. It wasn't my fault that I wanted to act on them or even did. That was nature. All I had to do was accept that I would always feel this way. I couldn't change it; it would always be inside of me, roaring at me every time blood was spilt. What I could do was grow the humanity in me and cage the proverbial beast.

It was at that moment that I knew I couldn't stay with the Cullens for much longer. I thought I would take Alice and we would leave. I would change who I was and then one day go back to Bella and show her what I had become. I would tell her how she saved me that night. I never got the chance as it was that night I realized what Alice had done. I hadn't put the pieces together before then, but I did the moment I went to ask her to leave with me. She had let me almost kill her best friend and I didn't understand why. I still don't understand. I don't regret anything about that argument except that Rosalie had to see it. I could feel her helplessness as she watched on from the hall. I tried to comfort her after Alice left, but it was futile. It was as futile as continuing my relationship with Alice. No good could ever come of it.

I sighed again, bringing my hand to my head and running my fingers through my hair. Whatever had happened to Bella broke her.

I heard the door slam open and two sets of footsteps approach. I glanced out the window towards the lightening sky. It was morning already. Looking around the room I could tell that everyone else had been as lost in their thoughts as I had. We hadn't even heard our visitors approaching.

"So when is the fight? I'm ready to spill some newborn venom!" Emmett's booming voice exploded into the room as the stepped through the doorway. Rosalie fluidly came in the room after him.

I felt the couch move as Demetri sat up straighter eyeing Emmett's large form. A smile spread across his face and excitement became his forefront emotion. I could tell he was planning on wrestling with Emmett. Both men were burly and tall. Not a combination that you see in many vampires. I hoped to God that Demetri wasn't personality wise as similar to Emmett as he was looks wise.

"I am sorry to disappoint. The Volturi has taken care of the newborns yesterday. But you are more than welcome to help us when we deal with the sire." Demetri's smile widened as he walked forward towards Emmett.

Their heights matched exactly and the smile that grew on Emmett's face was almost a mirror of the one on Demetri's. I shuddered internally. They were exactly the same damn it. Rose ghosted around the two men and sat next to me as Demetri and Emmett continued their conversation as it turned into the best way to take down said sire.

Rose grabbed my hand and leaned towards me, "What's wrong, Jasper?"

I shook my head slightly as I looked back up at the two prodigious vampires. Together they would be a force to be reckoned with.

"I've been your sister for over half a century. I know you better than that. Something is really bothering you, Jasper. It isn't Alice is it? Did she or Edward call you again? I'll kick some ass if they did. You know I would do it for you." The sincerity was rolling off of her. Her beautiful face was twisted in a grimace of anger and worry.

I sighed for what had to have been the fiftieth time today. "Don't worry about it, Rose. It wasn't them. This whole situation with the newborns is just fucked up and it has me thinking."

My statement must have brought Emmett back on subject and he asked the question that I had been dreading since he walked in, "Who is this damn sire anyway? I can take her down no problem, but why the hell is she messing with my family?" He slammed his fist into his open palm and looked around the room.

Demetri answered before any of us could, "A vampire that goes by the name of Victoria. She has been siring newborns to destroy your family in particular. She has not been careful in the past and has had a run in with our little guard Jane just two years ago. Sadly this woman is slippery. She was able to get past Jane and her powers. I would almost say it's amazing and that she almost seems to have a power that allows herself to get out of sticky situations, but she's out of control. Victoria should have died two years ago and we don't take kindly to the fact that she isn't dead."

My ears perked up to this. I didn't know the Volturi had had a run in with her a few years ago. Bella must have known she was out and about then. But what had she done wrong then? Was that when she started building her army? I shook my head. No. That couldn't be right. If that was the case they wouldn't have had to ask that Riley boy who their sire was. They would have suspected it was her.

Rosalie's growl broke through my thoughts. "That bitch is back?! I knew we should have destroyed her when we got the chance. Coming after our family was stupid and pointless." Everyone in the room turned to look at her. It was the first time Demetri had focused on her and I saw his eyebrows raise before settling into a confused and aggravated furrow. The amusement that he had felt with Emmett was completely disregarded as an almost disgust exuded from him as he looked at Rose. She was too busy looking at her clenched fists to notice that she was not receiving the normal reaction from him.

We fell into another bout of silence. It was then that I heard footsteps approaching from the forest. I knew Bella was coming back and this reunion wasn't shaping up to be a pretty one. Rosalie and Bella had never gotten along in the past and although Rose did love her I knew she wasn't going to take her change well. Emmett on the other hand would be just as torn as I was. I heard her slow and almost stop as she came up to the backdoor before stopping completely. Bella knew exactly who was here and I could feel her indecision as to come in or ignore them completely.

Emmett looked up at me; the pain that had taken residence in his eyes since we left Bella was back with a vengance, "Has anyone checked on Bella? Is she alright? Maybe someone needs to go back there to protect her. It's dangerous for her to be wherever she is with Victoria on the prowl. Who knows…maybe Victoria will be going after her. We can't just leave her unprotected!"

The backdoor slammed open, "Oh I think I can take care of myself; you don't need to worry yourself over something as insignificant as protecting little old me. I'm not quite as breakable as I was in the past."

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: And it has started. I hope you guys have enjoyed this chapter…please review! PS I think I need a new summary. Can anyone help with this?**

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	10. Fire

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Chibi-Kari: I was absolutely astounded by the amount of reviews you guys gave me. I asked for 100 and then I blink and I have over 120. You all amaze me and I love you for doing that for me! Your reviews really inspire me! I have a little "action" in this, but did not write a lemon…because all the lemony goodness will be saved for Jasper. I don't own. And the next chapter will be the real fight between Bella and Rose…and we'll have some wonderful Jasperness in it!

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 10 – Fire**

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**(Bella's POV)**

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I pushed my legs a bit harder as I ran from the Denali house. I didn't think it would be so hard to face my past, but Victoria coming back was icing on top of the cake. It reminded me of something Rene used to talk about when I was younger. Murphy's law. I could still remember he favorite version of the law, "Everything will go wrong at one time and that time is always when you least expect it."

I laughed to myself. As soon as I killed her I wouldn't be indebted to anyone and there would be no more past. I smiled to myself and pushed harder. I was using feeding an as excuse to leave the house, but it would also help me prepare for the fight. Human blood made a vampire stronger than the animal blood that the Denali and Cullen covens chose. It was a cheap imitation. Generic is rarely as good as name brands.

I slowed as I reached Port Angeles; it had only taken me over an hour to make it from Alaska to Washington. I walked towards the bar that so many years ago I scared Jessica at. Out front I saw my prey. He was a perfect specimen and good for fun, a young man of around twenty two, smoking a cigarette in front of the familiar bar. He was fit and good looking, but I could see his cockiness. A young redhead walked in front of him down the street. He reached out and grabbed the bottom of her dress before saying something vulgar to her. She quickened her step and pulled her dress from his hand, trying to ignore him completely. I smiled as he sealed his fate by trying to follow her down the street.

I quickly crossed the street and made my way to him. I swung my hips as I walked up behind him. "Sir, I believe I'm lost. Maybe you could help me?" I purred at him as he turned quickly to look at me.

I smiled sweetly as his eyes widened and he hungrily looked me up and down. His brown eyes finally met mine as he put on a charming smile, "Where are you needing to go? I'll walk you. It's not a good thing for a young woman like you to be walking around alone in the city."

I flashed a seductive grin his way and raised an eyebrow, "Well, I do know how to take care of myself…but you look perfect to give me a little help."

He moved two steps closer, "Take care of yourself? Why would any man allow you to do such a thing? I most certainly can take care of you."

If I wasn't working on innuendos I would have gagged at his blatant remark. I looked him up and down, "I'm certain you can. I need to get back to the main road." I ran my hand up his arm before pointing towards the alleyway that I came out of, "Will that alleyway bring me back to the main road?"

He stared dumbly at me for a moment before swallowing and nodding. "That'll bring you right back out on the main road."

I smiled at him and brought my hand down to his chest. I slowly circled it before running it down his arm again and taking his hand in mine. He shivered slightly, but didn't make a move away from me, "Why don't you walk me? I'll find a way to repay you." I smiled sweetly as I tugged him towards the dark alleyway.

He smiled and followed me, "I can think of a way for you to repay me."

I looked over my shoulder and smiled seductively, "I'm thinking the same thing as you." His eyes widened. "And trust me…you'll never need anyone again after what I do to you."

I waited until we were halfway to the main road before pushing him against the wall. He now started to look panicked. They always did this. In the dark their senses started to come alive and they knew they were in danger. But when they were already here it was too late. He sealed his fate.

He tried to push me away, "I'm sure you can make it from here. My friends are waiting back in the bar and I need to get back to them."

I took a step towards him, running my hands up his chest and pushing him lightly into the wall, "But I haven't properly thanked you yet."

He glanced back towards the bar and started to stutter, "Th-this is thank-thanks enough. I real-really need to make my way back."

"Oh you can't think of leaving a poor defenseless woman in a dark alleyway like this, can you?" I let my hands wander down his body and like every good man he let his lust overtake his brain. Slowly leaned forward and allowed my cold lips to make contact with his pulsing neck. The warmth swept through my body and I smiled into his neck. I could smell the blood beneath his skin. It was sweet and perfect, but I needed to get a little more from him first. "Really. I would like to thank you."

His hands made their way to my back and started to trace a way down to the bottom of my dress, slipping beneath it. I smiled and started to pepper kisses towards his chest. I reached down to his belt buckle and started to ease it open. I wasn't looking for foreplay and he would have to just skip to the release I needed. There was nothing like the warmth that spread throughout my body from having a warm human male inside of me. And it was even better when he was inside of me and his blood was pooling inside my mouth. That was the fate of this man in front of me and he didn't know it yet. I would be the best he's ever had and will ever have. I was doing him a favor by killing him. If I hadn't he would spend his entire life never finding what I'm about to give him and yet spending his eternity searching for it.

Mr. Willing and Ready came quickly and I bit down into his neck relishing in the sweet taste that came from his blood. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he ran his hands up and down my back as I drained him of his life. He would never know what happened to him…it was a kind and merciful death that I offered him.

Within a few minutes it was over and I dropped him to the ground. I looked both directions checking for bystanders that I would need to dispose of. After finding none, I fixed my dress. I pulled him away from the wall and took out a match. Lighting a drained human on fire always seemed to be the best solution; the doctors never looked at lack of blood that way. But maybe it was because I was a stickler for irony. I chose to light my victims on fire and fire was the only way to truly destroy me. I stood there looking on him for a few moments before I heard a commotion from the bar. I quickly exited the alleyway and on to the main road. It would do me no good to be standing over a burning body when someone came by.

I looked back on the alleyway and smiled, "Thanks. You were perfect." I glanced both ways before taking off into the forest across the empty main road.

Demetri would be happy that I was home early. He always hated when I was gone for more than a day. It made him uncomfortable because he knew he would never be able to find me.

I looked up to the brightening sky. It was morning already. My legs brought pushed me through the last of the Canadian wilderness as I crossing into Alaska. I walk hoping Victoria had been lurking around Forks again and that was what had prompted me to run that far. Plus the more time I was away from the Denali house the better.

I came on to the house quickly and slowed my steps as I reached the back porch. I could sense Emmett and Rosalie before I reached the door. Did I really want to go inside there and see Emmett? He would be disappointed. If I thought Jasper was hard, Emmett would be worse. Rosalie I really didn't care about. She hated me so nothing would be different.

Emmett's voice boomed through the door, "Has anyone checked on Bella? Is she alright? Maybe someone needs to go back there to protect her. It's dangerous for her to be wherever she is with Victoria on the prowl. Who knows…maybe Victoria will be going after her. We can't just leave her unprotected!"

My eyes narrowed at that. They left me and now they want to waltz back in my life to "protect me"? It was sickening. I reached forward and slammed the door open. I would owe Tanya more money for repairs now, "Oh I think I can take care of myself; you don't need to worry yourself over something as insignificant as protecting little old me. I'm not quite as breakable as I was in the past." I found Emmett standing in front of me and narrowed my eyes on his still form. "Actually, we don't need you here at all. Of course you are welcome to sit on the sidelines and watch as I tear Victoria apart and burn the pieces one by one."

The entire room had gone silent as I ghosted past everyone and sat down in my chair as if I had never left it. Jasper looked up and his eyes met mine. I watched as he blanched slightly as he took in the crimson shade of my eyes. A look of disbelief passed over his face. He must not have believed me when I told him of my dietary choice.

Emmett was still as a statue as he stared at me. It was Rosalie that broke the silence.

Her voice was small and unsure as it filled the room. Her blonde hair fell gracefully over her shoulders and her golden eyes were wide, "But…three years ago…No. You should be dead."

Emmett's head snapped to look at her, but it was Demetri that spoke, "I knew it was you!" He pointed at her still form as her eyes moved slowly to him and widened every farther.

"Rosie, what are you talking about?" Emmett asked looking between Demetri and Rosalie before he glanced back at me again.

My mind reeled as I analyzed what she had said. Three years ago I was changed. I was in New York and Demetri took me from that club. I was sure Alice had been the one there. I was positive that Demetri had seen Alice in that hotel room.

"She was there in New York. This is the vampire that allowed me to take Bella." He narrowed his eyes at her. When Demetri and I had discussed what happened that day when he went back to my hotel room he knew I was familiar with the vampire in the room. When he had hidden in the closet he had no idea what this other vampire was doing in the room and didn't question it when she left. It was over a year later that he told me of the experience and I knew my eyes widened when he stated that the female had golden eyes.

Emmett clenched his hands together as he swung to face Rosalie full on, "You knew Bella went missing?! You knew she was with a vampire?! How could you do this?!"

Her blonde head snapped down to focus on her lap, "I thought she was already dead. I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't think it would help to tell anyone."

I suddenly found the entire situation entertaining. I wouldn't have expected anything less from Rosalie. I felt the laughter bubbling out of me before it filled the room. Suddenly everyone's attention was once again focused on me, "Oh don't worry Rose. It's not like I would have expected you to save me. It's in your very nature to leave me in a situation like that." I stood up and once again made my way to the door, unreasonable laughter still racking through my body.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw her eyes widen, "Bella, if I had known you weren't dead I would have done something!" She stood up, her eyes pleading me to believe her.

I felt the last of the laughter leave my body as I glanced back at her, "Would you?" I stepped outside and stood on the porch. I needed some air for a minute. I knew the anger would come quickly once I had calmed myself.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Oh the confrontation is far from over! Get ready for the next chapter! Thanks for reading and please review.**

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	11. No

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Chibi-Kari: Thanks so much for the reviews. I'm not going to repeat what happens in this chapter again from another point of view…so don't worry, the next chapter will be all new. I hope you enjoy the little fight. I don't own. And maybe can I ask for 150 reviews? Oh there is some heavy language...you are warned.

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 11 – No**

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**(Rosalie's POV)**

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I had been so focused on Jasper and what was bothering him that I didn't hear anyone arrive. Sitting next to him had taken me back to a better time. I loved him more than any of the Cullens and his pain brought me pain. I loved Emmett with all my heart, but when my brother was feeling bad, he always had my whole attention. His lack of response to my questions had left me baffled and left my mind filtering through all the reasons for his silence. But when her voice broke through the room and our eyes met…I couldn't think. Feelings flooded into my body and quickly rushed over me, consuming me from deep inside. Disbelief. Relief. Guilt. Sadness. I couldn't pick one and I certainly couldn't think of what to say. The room had gone silent after something she said, but I couldn't register anything except the fact that she was standing in front of me. Bella was here. Alive…well…more alive than I thought she would be. I couldn't understand what was happening. My mind couldn't even begin to fathom what was happening in this room, but now the silence made sense.

"But…three years ago…No. You should be dead." My brain wouldn't function properly and my voice sounded foreign even to myself. I tried to swallow to clear my brain so that I could begin to understand what was happening.

Emmett turned to me, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. I felt if I looked away for one moment she might be gone again. If she was standing in front of me I could delude myself into believing that things could go back to the way they once were. It was a wonderful thought. My mind quickly followed that path. Edward and Bella would find happiness in each other's arms. Alice and Jasper would reconnect and everyone would go back to living together. Esme could stop her tearless sobbing and Carlisle could go back to being a proud father. I could have another sister. We could have Bella back in our lives.

I vaguely registered the other vampire saying something to Emmett. I took a deep breath to say something again, but stopped just as quickly. My mind reeled as I registered the other vampire as Bella's kidnapper. This was the man that changed her. What was he even doing here? Was this the Volturi? I couldn't remember anything because the moment I walked in I was focused on Jasper and the very next moment Bella waltzes right back into our lives.

My teddy bear of a husband snapped in my direction and for the first time since we got here I focused on him and I very quickly wished I hadn't. His face was contorted into a look of disgust and anger. I had never once been afraid of Emmett, but in this moment I couldn't see any love for me in his eyes. And that was the most frightening thing I had ever seen.

His bellowing voice filled the entire house, "You knew Bella went missing?! You knew she was with a vampire?! How could you do this?!"

My head snapped down and I focused on lap; I felt Jasper shift slightly away from me. Emmett was absolutely right to be furious with me. I was horrified at myself. Just seeing her in front of me made me realize what I did. I stripped her of everything a human should have, of everything I had always wanted. Bella should be at home with a husband and a baby. She should be excelling in the world, not frozen in time like this. Especially when she wasn't with us. She wasn't with family.

"I thought she was already dead. I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't think it would help to tell anyone." I weakly tried to rationalize what I had done, but it sounded like fucking bull shit, even to me. I could have saved her. Deep down I knew I could have saved her from the very first moment I heard Angela crying on that street corner.

Musical laughter chimed through the room. It was beautiful, but twisted. I looked up at Bella as she hysterically laughed, "Oh don't worry Rose. It's not like I would have expected you to save me. It's in your very nature to leave me in a situation like that."

I felt my eyes widen, straining my beautiful face. She continued to laugh as she walked to the back door. I knew I couldn't let her leave thinking I wanted her to end up like this. I couldn't let her believe that I wanted her damned to this life, "Bella, if I had known you weren't dead I would have done something!" I stood up attempting to reason with her or vindicate myself.

Her laughter abruptly stopped as her eyes narrowed at me. It was in that moment that I realized they were blood red. This was a completely different girl than we had left back in Forks. This wasn't little Bella that hung on all of Edward's words. This wasn't the Bella that let Alice dress her up. This wasn't the Bella that Emmett loved to tease. This wasn't the Bella that Jasper used to thrash at chess. This woman standing in front of me wasn't even a fucking shadow of that girl, "Would you?" She walked right out the door without a second glance at me.

The room was silent as I stood there. Shock and relief settled as my two main emotions. I glanced over at Emmett who looked lost. Bella was his little sister. He loved her more than he loved any of the Cullens. Something about her had broken into my husband's heart and taken a hold. He always seemed so happy to everyone, but he didn't emotionally involve himself with the Cullens the same way he did with Bella. I had to make this right. I had to make this right for him and Bella. They were the victims here and I was one of the perpetrators.

My legs started moving towards the door before I had fully realized I intended to follow her. I heard Emmett and Jasper call out to me, but I couldn't stop. I would make things right with Bella. I had to. There wasn't any other choice.

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**(Bella's POV)**

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I turned abruptly when I saw her step out onto the lawn. Her blonde hair shown in the sun and reflected beautifully against her sparkling skin. It made me hate her more. I knew she was a horrendous bitch since the moment I first met her. I tried to be nice and gain her acceptance, but she didn't want me. At least she was honest when the other Cullens weren't. They didn't want me, but didn't have the heart to tell me. At least she was honest.

"Bella." Her smooth voice called out to me as she continued to walk closer.

I felt the growl erupt from my chest before I heard it. For a moment I was disconcerted by the sound, but it was quickly replaced by the anger. Every second I looked at her my anger grew. She cursed me to this life. She could have saved me and yet she walked away. Demetri had told me she smiled to herself as she walked out of the hotel. He told me how she walked down the street and continued shopping like nothing had happened. I was barely a blip on her radar. All the while she could have saved me. I could be alive right now, but Rosalie was always true to form.

I'm actually surprised the fucking bitch didn't kill me, herself, years ago. She probably dreamed of crushing me to death the very first moment she found out about me. I can just picture her with the Cullens around their dining room table. It would be right before Edward and I started dating. She would stand up and calmly state her case about how I was detrimental to their very existence. Then she would go on and on about how easy it would be to just get rid of me. Jasper, the ever strategist, would probably nod his head at what she was saying. They would hope the family would give in and let me be murdered. Of course Carlisle, the humanitarian, wouldn't allow for that to happen.

Rosalie continued forward towards me, she was now only twenty feet away and I could see the fake sorrow sprawled across her features. She probably danced when Edward announced they were leaving. And then I'm sure she made an offhand comment about how she was inconvenienced because Edward decided to play house with me. God forbid she had to change schools and move. Oh it was such an issue, I mean who cares that I spent hours on the forest floor devastated. She had to pack her damn belongings at vampires speed, get in her pretty little red convertible, and drive to wherever their beautiful new home would be.

My anger exploded when she got within five feet of me. She didn't even have time to react as I threw myself at her. I was faster and had her pinned to the ground in seconds. Yes, by now I could have used my power and been lighting the fire by hand, but she deserved to have this done slowly. I wanted to feel her being torn apart. I would feel her skin dimple below mine as I pulled and tore at it.

Her stunning golden eyes widened slightly as she stared up at me. "Bella, please just listen to me. I never wanted any of this to happen."

I sneered pushing her body harder into the earth. I could feel it give and compact under her back. I glanced at the ground around her; I had already pushed her in at least an inch, "Oh I'm sure you didn't want this to happen. I'm sure you were the first to vote me dead way back before I even became a real issue. You didn't want me around forever. But guess what. I'm alive and you're about to be very dead."

Her knee swiftly bucked up and swept me sideways slightly as she tried to fend me off, "I didn't want you to die in New York. I just thought I couldn't help you."

She bucked again and this time I lost my hold on her. I swiftly stood up as she did the same, "Oh, you couldn't be bothered to try."

She raised her arms in the air slightly, "What could I have done? Gotten myself attacked?! Would that have made you happy? For me to fucking die for you? I thought you were already dead; there was nothing to save you from! No good would have come from me trying to be a fucking hero!"

I seethed, "What good could you have done?! What fucking good could you have done?!" My voice raised a few octaves and I vaguely registered the birds in the area taking flight, "You could have brought home my damn body to my parents. You could have given them, and my friends, fucking closure. Shit, you could have just dropped my dead body off in front of a fucking hospital and never be tied into anything. You didn't just cause me pain. Everyone" My voice cracked and I shook my head trying to clear it. I had to hold on to my anger. If I couldn't do that I wouldn't have anything left, "You caused everyone I loved pain. More pain and heartache than you can imagine." Venom filled my eyes and I blinked it away. I reached inside grounding myself once again in the anger.

Her arms dropped from the air and hung limply by her sides. She was still. I looked over her two times before I realized that she had completely stopped moving. She wasn't even breathing anymore. The anger started bubbling again and I leapt at her. With a quick swoop I had her arm securely in my hand and had her twisted away from me towards the house.

I glanced up and registered Jasper and Emmett standing in the doorway watching as I gripped Rosalie's perfectly sculpted arm in my hand. I grasped tightly and started to pull. I felt the strain as it pulled against the socket. She started to howl in pain, but didn't make a move to get away from me. I smiled as the scent of her venom wafted into the air from the tears in her beautiful skin. I was removing her arm the old fashioned way and I was fucking enjoying every second of it. Glee bubbled inside of me as I realized perfect Rosalie would never again be flawless after I was finished with her.

My body jerked backwards as arms came around my waist and restrained me. I struggled in the strong hold before looking backwards to my captor. I expected it to be Emmett trying to stop me from destroying his beloved wife or Demetri trying to keep me under control. I never expected to meet Jasper's golden eyes. I felt calm rush into me. I struggled one more time fruitlessly against him before giving into his embrace.

"Emmett, take care of your wife." I followed his line of sight over my head and to the doorway where Emmett was still standing watching me. I glanced back at Rosalie and smirked as she knelt on the ground holding her arm.

The glee and satisfaction quickly flew from my body as calm started to suffocate me, "Bella and I are going for a little walk. We'll be back later." He lifted my feet off the ground and started walking towards the forest.

I wiggled in his embrace again, "Fucking put me down, Jasper."

He barely glanced down at me, "No."

I sighed, "I'll come with you. Just put me down so I can walk myself. I promise I won't go back and kill your dear sister."

He stopped and narrowed his eyes at me before picking up his pace, "You need to learn something right now. When I say no, I mean fucking no."

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Jasper and Bella time next chapter! Oh and things aren't quite over with Bella and Rosalie…but I'll save that for later! Thanks for reading and please review.**

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	12. Anger

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Chibi-Kari: Wahh! I got the reviews I asked for in under twenty four hours…so guess what…an update in under twenty four hours and it's the longest to date! Things are going to heat up between Jasper and Bella in the next chapter…I already started the ball rolling with Jasper's feelings. I still don't own. And maybe can I ask for 170 reviews? I would love 175, but I really don't want to ask too much of you guys…

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 12 – Anger**

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**(Jasper's POV)**

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I didn't know what to say. I couldn't comprehend what was really happening. When I saw Rose going for the door I knew it was possibly the worst idea that she had ever had…and the 80s…that was a bad idea for her. I had known Bella wasn't in her right mind and I could feel her emotions catapulting from one to another. The experience was turbulent and consuming at best. Her current emotions ran deeper than a newborn vampire's. But it was when she had become hysterical with laughter that I truly felt at a loss. All of my past experiences and skills became useless. I couldn't calm her. I have to feel a semblance of that emotion in myself or her to be able to amplify it. At that moment I couldn't even identify her emotions and it scared me. I haven't been so frightened in my entire life. For several moments there wasn't an ounce of sanity left in her.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I felt her emotions shift to anger. Anger was a solid emotion, one I could handle if need be, but I thought I wouldn't have to. I had figured after walking outside she would get angry and upset, and then calm down by herself. I believed that until Rosalie decided she needed to amble out there and talk to Bella. Both Emmett and I had weakly tried to stop her, but she was a woman on a mission. She was determined and felt extremely guilty and relieved. It was in that moment that I was sure Rose loved Bella. She may have made a mistake…okay, a big fucking mistake, but she still cared for her like a sister.

I looked over at Emmett. I couldn't feel anything from him anymore as he stared blankly at the door. He was taking this a whole lot worse than I thought he would. My poor brother wasn't even running on autopilot. Although, if I found out my wife had ignored my sister's disappearance I think I would be reacting the same way. My mind reeled at the concept. Alice must have ignored what happened to Bella. I had thought of it before, even accepted it. But looking at Rosalie and feeling Bella's emotions put it in a different perspective. Bella had been right when she had claimed Rose was being true to form. Rose never claimed to care about Bella, actually she was constantly hostile, and I never for one moment thought she did. Alice on the other hand had claimed that they were best friends, soul mates of a sort. She used Bella to end our relationship. How could someone that cares so much for another person that they would leave their husband, leave that person in so much pain. How could Alice continue to claim that Bella was her best friend when she left her in this situation, let her go down this path?

I was disgusted. Disgusted with Rose. Disgusted with Alice. And I was mostly disgusted with myself. Why didn't I try to make amends with Bella? If I did I might have seen this coming. I could have found her years ago or even stopped the Volturi from finding her. My life for the past few years completely centered around Bella, yet I couldn't even find it in myself to go and see her.

I felt Bella's emotions shift again with an overwhelming sense of loss. I could feel her try to grapple with her fading anger. Within seconds she had a firm hand on it again and her fierce growl prompted me to intervene. I couldn't allow her to continue like this. I hadn't done something in the past, but I would now. Bella would be devastated if we allowed her to kill Rosalie.

I walked towards the door, Emmett following me closely. He was still numb. I glanced behind me at the other vampires in the room. Demetri was smiling to himself and radiating fulfillment, obviously wanting Bella to tear Rose limb from limb. Tanya and the others seemed to be in a state of shock and keeping to themselves. Their emotions were contemplative. This obviously wasn't the Bella they had been expecting. Hell, I knew her and this was definitely not the Bella I was expecting. It didn't help that she was Volturi. Going against her would almost be signing a death sentence and seeing what she did to the newborns I don't think anyone would stop her from killing us if she wanted to.

After stepping out the door, it didn't even take a full second for my eyes to adjust to the change in light and see what was happening at least fifty feet in front of us. Bella's beautiful face was contorted into a look of rage that I had never, in my entire life, seen on a vampire. It was more ferocious than that of any of the volatile newborns I have dealt with. Rosalie's face was blank, shock had invaded her system completely and her face didn't even register the pain that was so obviously being inflicted upon her. Whatever had been said to her rang true and she was starting to feel resigned.

Bella was gleefully pulling on Rose's arm and when the smell of her venom hit the air, I knew this had to stop. Bella was a pacifist. She hated the thought of anything dying or being in danger. Yet, here she was about to rip apart family. And she was doing it with a smile.

She looked up and her blood red eyes met mine, another reminder of our desertion. Satisfaction was dancing in their depths. When Bella looked back down at Rosalie, I moved. I knew she was too focused to notice me and I used that to my advantage. I skirted around them and came up behind her, snapping her arms to her sides, pulling her away from my sister's fallen form, and holding her still. She struggled for a few moments before looking over her shoulder at me. I could vaguely feel her surprise before I filled her with calm. She struggled one final time before sinking into my arms.

It felt like my world shifted. Everything was in perspective. This is what I always thought heaven would do to me. The pain and everything I had gone through to get to this moment suddenly meant nothing. Everything was going to be okay. The feeling of her in my arms was extraordinary and invaded my every thought and feeling. I held her tightly and made sure to continue the stream of calm.

I tried to snap myself from these inappropriate feelings that decided to take residence in me. My eyes scanned the lawn and fell on Rose's form. I focused on her to try and center my feelings, it wasn't very successful and barely dampened my spirit. I glanced back to the doorway and found Emmett continuing his numb statuesque position. "Emmett, take care of your wife."

He continued to stand there blankly and Bella's emotions shifted once again to that sick glee. I quickly pushed down her feelings and spread my calm out towards Emmett. He twitched slightly and I knew he had joined us back in the world. "Bella and I are going for a little walk. We'll be back later."

I lifted her feet off the ground and started walking towards the forest. It would be private enough for us to talk without Rose trying to pull some more shit. I really didn't want to have to reattach all of my favorite sister's limbs because she couldn't keep her damn mouth closed. And I was most definitely not going to stop Bella if she tried to rip Rose apart.

We had made it a good mile into the forest before she tried to escape my grip again, "Fucking put me down, Jasper."

I barely glanced down at her, we had to get far enough in before I could stop and speak with her…and I wasn't planning on letting her go anytime soon. "No."

She sighed slightly and leaned against my chest, "I'll come with you. Just put me down so I can walk myself. I promise I won't go back and kill your dear sister."

The quick wave of contentment that overcame me as Bella leaned into my embrace quickly subsided as the satisfaction started to creep back into her. I stopped and narrowed my eyes at her. We'd have to talk about this drastic attitude issue, "You need to learn something right now. When I say no, I mean fucking no."

Her eyes widened as we continued through the forest quickly. After about five minutes we came to a clearing that was maybe fifty miles from the house. I reluctantly set her down in the middle of the opening and watched as the sun glistened off of her skin. I hadn't wanted to let go of her, but she was sufficiently calmed to stay stationary and hear me out.

Her eyes narrowed suddenly and she placed her hands on her hips. I could feel her anger working over the calm that I had supplied for her. "What the fuck do you think you were doing back there, Jasper?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, "If my memory serves me correctly, the Bella I knew wouldn't utter a swear and I've heard quite a few from you."

She sneered at me and I momentarily let her take charge of her own emotions. She needed to get her anger out or it would consume her. That was the least healthy thing for a vampire. Losing control of emotions or being consumed by them always ended badly. And I was the perfect person to be with her like this, I wasn't afraid of her in the least.

"Oh your memory serves you just fine, Jasper. Remember you are a vampire…we don't forget." Her words were mocking and covered with poorly concealed aggression.

I sighed…this wasn't going in the direction that I had originally planned and it had just started, "I'm sorry we left you. If I had known that this was going to happen to you, I would have stopped it."

She flung her hands up in the air, "What the hell is with you and your family with their whole 'if I knew' crap? You didn't care about me and now you just feel guilty…and do I have to remind you that two most definitely knew. Rose and your little lovely wife." She sneered out wife as if it was the most detestable thing she could say. It probably was in her book.

"Yes, Rose should have done something but she didn't. End of story. You knew Rose was like this, no big surprise there. But you are right, no one should have left you alone. We brought you into this life and then abandoned you. That's all true, but we did care about you. We do care about you. Do you remember what I said to you in Phoenix…you are worth it. We consider you family and we'll do anything for you. Rose made a mistake…she's not infallible." If I could reach her, I know we could get Bella back. She wouldn't be the same. That was impossible, but I could pull her in the right direction if I could get her to listen to reasoning. She wasn't perfect and neither were any of us.

She smiled to herself, "Well…Rose isn't physically infallible anymore either, is she? Poor, poor vain Rose. What will she do without her flawless skin? And what about Alice? Where is she anyway? Afraid that I won't accept her as my best friend again?"

I didn't want to even deal with the thought of Alice right now…she was such a hypocrite. We were on bad terms for the past few years, but after finding out about Bella I don't think I could ever even see her little pixie face again without ripping it away from the bone. "I don't know where Alice is right now and I frankly don't fucking care. Probably with Edward, Carlisle, and Esme."

"Oh that's got to be so fucking painful for you…I mean being separated from your adorable little Alice."

I scoffed, "I don't think she's particularly adorable…really she's a fucking bitch. And she's most definitely not mine. We're no longer married and it's the best fucking thing that ever happened to me." I was exaggerating…it was painful and the wound hadn't healed. Not that it could with Edward and Alice jabbing at it every chance they got. Everything was always my fault for them. I was always teetering and their subsequent lifestyle was my fault. I mentally snorted. They would have a field day when they heard about Bella. I could just imagine their insufferable comments.

I felt Bella's anger warp into shock and a bit of pity. I felt momentarily relieved…the old Bella was still there inside this woman, "Oh." She was silent for a moment, "They left you, too? Is that why you're with the Denali's and not with Carlisle and Esme?"

The wind whipped around us, tossing her hair and sending a floral scent towards me. She smelled glorious, like freesia and orange spice, "No. I left them. It was really the only choice I had. Alice made it impossible for me to stay. Everything was my fault. She had to leave you and it was my fault, or so she always told me." What Alice said was partially true. I couldn't deny that if I had somehow been able to stop myself none of this would have happened. But she had known it was going to happen and that always stopped my self-deprecation in its tracks.

Her lips twitched several times before rolling over her teeth into what could only be described as a hybrid between a sneer and a grimace, "Your fault? Well you did attack me and set in motion the end of my human life. But it certainly wasn't entirely your fault. Edward chose to leave me. He made the choice that left me on the forest floor for hours. And Alice…Alice chose to leave me, too. She could have said goodbye. She could have left a way to contact me, hell she could have contacted me herself. Edward was the love of my shitty little human life and he so easily left me to fend for myself. Alice was my fucking best friend. If the blame falls with anyone it's the three of them. Alice, Edward, and Rosalie. Don't you dare even think for a moment that it was really your fault. But it is true that you attacked me." Her emotions were suddenly blocked from me and a slow smile formed on her face, "Maybe I should pay you back. I could show you firsthand what I can do. I hear feeling my power tear you apart at every joint is amazing. Of course I'll help you fuse back together. Couldn't leave you to fix yourself. Then we'll be even…or close enough." She tilted her head to the side and shrugged nonchalantly.

I had seen what she could do and I certainly didn't want to experience myself. I knew I would never be fast enough and I didn't think it was something I could dodge, "We're family, Bella. Would you really do this to family?"

She laughed, "Family? I think not. We're not family, Jasper, and we never were. None of you fucking cared for me for a minute. If you did none of this would have happened. Someone would have come for me or convinced Edward not to leave me. I don't want to hear this family shit again."

This wasn't working. Nothing I was saying was getting through to her. I would just have to change my strategy. I wasn't afraid of her…I wasn't afraid of what she could do to me. "You can't use your power on me, Bella. It won't work." This was a classic mind game; make the enemy doubt their abilities and they would fall into your trap. I had used it quite a few times during my time with Maria's army. Hell, I had used it on Maria more than once. This time was different though, I was confident, not confident in the trap…no I knew this was fact. She couldn't touch me and I wasn't exactly sure why or how I knew this.

She tilted her head back and raised an eyebrow, taking in my form slowly, "I can't? How are you going to stop me? No one has ever stopped me." Her voice was matter of fact, but it still didn't shake the feeling that she wouldn't be able to hurt me.

It was like second nature, I reached out with my power and pushed as much calm and serenity at her as I could. I couldn't feel her, but I somehow knew I could affect her. I just knew that this would work, "Do you want to try?"

Her eyes widened as she swayed on her feet slightly. The amount of calm and serenity was clouding her body and she looked as if she was going to fall to the ground. "How are you doing this? I'm a perfect shield. No one can get through with any attack. No one!" Her protestation came out as an awed statement instead of the indignation I was sure she would normally have felt in this situation.

"I can. And now you are going to fucking listen to me and understand. I'm doing this for you, Bella."

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Jasper and Bella really start to talk next time! Thanks for reading and please review.**

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	13. Rip, Rip, Burn

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Chibi-Kari: *insert evil laughter* I'm not going to tell you want happens in the forest. I decided I want to play this out a little differently than I was originally planning. But this gives you guys a better set up to Jasper/Bella happiness. This is more of a filler chapter with more goodness to come. I'm finishing up my semester in early August and then I have a wedding to go to in mid-August, so I don't know how well my updating will be. Just a fair warning. I'll try to keep it coming, but I can't promise anything. I don't own anything. Oh and you will find out what went on in the forest….just not in this chapter.

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 13 – Rip, rip, burn**

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**(Jasper's POV)**

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Our walk back to the house was silent. Bella stomped her feet like a child as she broke through the trees into the front yard. She stopped and stood with her arms crossed as the entire group spilled out on to the lawn. She turned and glowered at me.

The conversation had gone well in my book. Well anything that didn't involve me being torn into little pieces and left in the middle of the forest was good. She wasn't exactly receptive, but she did listen to what I had to say when she found that I couldn't be torn apart by her little gift and I could use mine on her. It was definitely a good thing for her to get knocked down a few notches. You know what they say about the pride before the fall. And from what I heard about what happened to Maria, I'd be inclined to believe it. I mean seriously, who goes around saying that their army could take down the Volturi? That's just asking to get killed…and that's exactly what happened. Or so Peter told me a few months ago. Why he even kept tabs on Maria was beyond me, but it's not like I could argue with him. That was like working with a fucking brick wall.

My attention was snapped back to the moment as Rosalie stepped forward towards us, "Is everything alright?"

Bella's beautiful face warped into a sneer, "Don't worry, Rose, I won't be killing you. Jasper here has forbidden me from doing so." She wildly gestured towards me with her arm. I moved slightly to the left so she wouldn't hit me. I think she was hoping to hit me.

Demetri's laugh echoed through the lawn as he walked up and placed a massive hand on Rose's shoulder, "What do you mean he forbid? Why didn't you just rip him to pieces, little one?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but Bella stopped me with a raised hand, "Oh you don't need to open your smug little mouth." She turned her full attention to Demetri, something I didn't really care for, "It seems super vampire over there can control my emotions even when I'm blocking him. Thus, no rip, rip, burn."

I shrugged lightly as everyone turned to look at me. Maybe I was a little smug.

"No one has been able to break through your shield before. This is strange. Shall we tell Aro?" Demetri looked back and forth between us before settling a glare on me.

She waved her hand dismissively and headed towards the house, "No big deal. I just can't kill Jasper or Rosalie while Jasper's around."

I stepped forward, "You can't kill her at all."

She spun around to face me, "No. I'm perfectly capable to kill her while you're gone. And I think I might." She crossed her arms, leaning slightly on one leg, and raised an eyebrow. A portion of my mind noted that it was probably the fucking sexiest thing I've seen her do.

"Well then I just won't be gone." Oh I didn't plan on going anywhere.

"You can't connect yourself to Rosalie's side forever. Emmett and her will want alone time that I'm sure no self respecting person will want to be nearby for."

"You'd kill me while I was with Emmett?" Rosalie's eyes had widened in shock and her voice rose an octave.

"Sweetie," Bella's voice dripped with condescension as she whipped her head towards Rose, "I'm not above anything and I don't put myself in the self respecting person category." Emmett and Rose shared and identical look of shock.

"Well, sweetie, I won't be connecting myself to Rosalie's side….I'll be at your side forever." She let a growl escape her body before stomping off into the house.

Emmett came up beside me, "Dude, thanks. The whole idea of Rosie falling apart while we are getting it on freaks me out. But she looked fucking furious and you're all talking to her like she's a kitten. Dude, that takes some serious cojones. I've never head you speak to anyone like that, not even Alice."

I started to walk towards the house before turning to face him, "Well she's not Alice is she?"

I made it to the door before Rosalie's voice cause me to stop abruptly, "Can I talk to her one more time? I just need to tell her some things. I promise I'll leave her alone after that. Just please." I'd never heard Rose beg for anything in her life. She was more of a demand and receive type of person. The whole situation was disconcerting.

"You can come in with me, but I can't promise she'll listen to you." Rosalie glanced back at the group before following me into the house.

I walked in to see Bella sulking on the couch, her head in her hands. "This fucking sucks, Jasper."

"Well, Darlin', I can't do anything about that when you want to go around killing all your family members." I sat down next to her and gestured to Rose. "Rosalie wants to say something to you. She promised to leave you alone after. I think it's a good idea to clear the air."

Bella's face snapped up to look at me, "You would. Come on Rose, speak your peace. So I don't have to see your damn face ever again."

I looked up at my favorite sister as her face broke into a look of devastation, "Bella." She stopped for a moment. I could feel her confliction, "Everything you said is right. I should have gone after you. It should have never even been a decision whether to try and get you or not. It should have been impulse. You are my family, just as much as Jasper of Emmett…well not quite as much as Emmett." Rose's face cracked into a small smile.

"I certainly would hope not." The corner of Bella's mouth lifted slightly and I could feel her fond amusement at that statement.

"The point is I should have gone after you. I could have at least given your family peace. Instead I ended up cursing you to this life. But right now I'm glad that I have this chance to get to know you. I missed out on that before and I regret it. If you want me to leave you alone I will, but I'd rather become true sisters with you. Bella, I protect what is mine fiercely and whether you like it or not you are one of them."

Bella stood up causing Rosalie to stumble back, "Right now I can't accept that, but maybe one day I'll see you as a friend. Jasper, I won't go trying to destroy her. Still going to follow me around like a puppy?"

I smiled and stood up, "Not a puppy, more like your shadow."

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks to my wonderful reviewers. I can't believe I got so close to 175…I was only really hoping for the 170 and you all delivered. Please continue to support me. Thanks for reading and please review!**

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	14. Hook

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Chibi-Kari: So oh my goodness! I'm so sorry for the wait! I never meant to take this long. But my semester ended in early August and then I got pneumonia. I know…in the summer, isn't that ridiculous?! Then I had to go to the wedding. Then I got back and school started up again. So now that I'm almost done with the first week of classes, I'm posting! Posting should be more regular again. Really, so sorry.

**So to make up for my delay this chapter is the longest of the series! And…citrus! This is my first time writing anything smutty so I hope I did a decent job. Funny enough I'm 22 and have no experience in this area…so this is all from reading other people's and all the normal information a virgin that has done absolutely nothing (except kiss) can give you. Pointers for the following chapters would be helpful!**

**And one more note. I'm writing another story. I've already started, but won't post until I have more than one chapter (I don't want what to happen this month to happen again). But I need your help. I looked in the books and such but I couldn't find a good description for Peter…I'm probably just missing it. If someone could find me that! Please. The story has only one chapter right now, but I really like it. It'll be Jasper/Bella with Peter and Charlotte taking on some main roles! I swear it's better written than this story…**

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 14 – Hook**

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**(Bella's POV)**

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Two weeks had gone by and Jasper had kept his word of following me everywhere. Shadow was a great way of describing it…he wasn't like the Mike puppy that had followed me around. He was more of the silent strong type and fuck was he better looking. Half the time I didn't notice him. He kept a fair distance when I hunted, but I had an inkling I was always within eyesight. And the other half of the time I couldn't keep my eyes off of him.

I felt more safe with him than I ever had felt with anyone else in my entire life, human and otherwise. His gaze was strong and fierce…so extremely sexy. And that wasn't a word that I normally attached to the vampires I was around. Sure Demetri was beautiful and strong, but he wasn't sexy. I guess I had a human fetish. I played around with the idea of seducing Jasper, but that just didn't seem right. He didn't seem the type. But when I did contemplate it, it was some of the best moments of my life. I was just thankful that I could close my feelings off of him. But it still fucking frustrated me that he could continue to manipulate me into submission. I just wish he would submit me to other things…

I knew it was uncomfortable for him to follow me around constantly and I took a little solace and joy in that. Lately I had actually started a little 'try to annoy Jasper into leaving' game otherwise known as TAJ to end my lust filled thoughts. At first it was singing "The Song That Never Ends" for two days straight. I thought it was working until Jasper started in on a round. That annoyed me within two minutes. I cursed him to the depths of hell for his love of annoying songs. So I've been trying new songs to sing. If it didn't work within twenty minutes I found that it wouldn't work at all and he loved to make me suffer. This new one would kill him, I was just sure. I was going to take a different approach. I remembered how Alice had once told me it was one of his favorite songs. So here I was biding my time before I started belting out one of his favorite songs, but at vampire speed. And just to add an extra level of annoyance I would periodically vary to human speed. The plan was ingenious.

I leaned back slightly on the couch in the library that Eleazar had built in this house. Jasper was lounging with a Civil War book in a chair across the room. I couldn't see why he couldn't just let go of his past, he would be much happier that way. I sucked in a breath of air, "Suck it in suck it in suck it in if you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn make a desperate move or else you'll win. And then begin to see what you're doing to me. This MTV is not for free. It's so PC it's killing me. So desperately I sing to thee of love. Sure, but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self and I can't keep these feelings on the shelf. I've tried. Well no in fact I lied, could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside to hide or slide. I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died and only then shall I abide this tide of catchy little tunes, of hip three minute ditties. I wanna bust all your balloons. I wanna burn all of your cities to the ground. I've found I will not mess around unless I play. Then hey, I will go on all day hear what I say I have a prayer to pray. That's really all this was and when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck I don't rely on luck because..."

I hid a smile as his eyes widened, "No! You can't ruin that song for me! Any song but that song!"

I turned on the edge of the couch to face him more fully. He had leaned forward on the recliner and the book that was previously in his hand was lying ungracefully on the floor, "The hooooook-"

"No!" He roared as he threw himself across the room. The word hook didn't even have time to die on my lips as his hand secured my jaws together. He growled down at me slightly, "You seem to forget I know the songs you like." His tone changed slightly as he started singing in a breathtaking voice. It would have continued to be phenomenal if he didn't speed each word up slightly faster than the first, "I was there when the bear ate his head, thought it was candy. Everyone knows in the end. Knock knock on the door. Who's it for? There's nobody in here. Look in the mirror my friend."

I started to panic. It was one of my favorite songs, something I had sang all the time with Renee as a child, and he was destroying it. This song symbolized my relationship with my mother. When we sang it together in the kitchen of our small house in Arizona it was when I was happiest. It was the only human memory that I would never want to forget and I would always have a reminder of. He just couldn't ruin it! I struggled slightly bringing my hands up to his face trying to cover his mouth. He moved his head to the side and effectively had me trapped with his knees pinning me to the couch. Without thinking I tried to buck him off of me.

That movement changed everything. Our hips connected and his mouth was on mine. I reached up to his hair grabbing fistfuls and pulling him closer to me. He obliged as his weight came on top of me. Jasper was connected to me in every way possible and I couldn't be happier about it. This was better than any fantasy I had had about his body.

His hands were resting on my check and neck as he attacked my lips with his. His kisses were silent and strong, like him and perfectly demanding. The hand resting on my cheek made its way down my neck, caressing down the dried vain that was once my jugular. It continued to grip my shoulder before flashing to my waste and pulling me up, even closer to his body. He ground his hips into mine and I felt his bulging arousal against the front of my pelvis. That certainly wasn't where I wanted it. I freed one of my legs and hooked it around his back moaning as I could feel him through my jeans against my heat. It was more amazing than the searing heat that came from doing this with a human.

He growled slightly as his other hand made its way to the hem of my shirt. He played with it momentarily before inching it up and lightly running his fingers over my upper abdomen. My muscles contracted instantaneously and all I could think about was where else his fingers could go.

His lips left mine and ran along my jaw. I gasped as his hand started to trail farther up my stomach to my rib cage. The intricate patterns he was carving into my skin with his light touches lit me on fire. I could feel underwear dampen and I tightened my hold on him with my leg.

My vampire mind was so filled with my pleasure that it took all of me to remember I had to reciprocate. My hands moved from his hair down his back as he continued to dust his hand across my ribcage, teasing me. As if my hands had a mind of their own, they quickly made their way under his shirt and up his strong back. I could feel the scars that littered his skin and that only added to the experience. It felt like every nerve ending in my body had gone into overdrive. Ever dip of his skin left me breathless and my skin and mind buzzing.

I thought I was going to burst when his hand finally brushed against the underside of my left breast. I moaned and vaguely registered that it echoed loudly through the entire house. A the moment I couldn't bring myself to care. Everyone on the planet could be watching and all I could think about was how long it was taking Jasper to reach my breast. I was impatient and tried to arch myself into his hand, but he only chuckled lowly in response.

"Patience." His voice was low and husky and his breathing had become labored. It struck through me drenching me even more.

I whimpered slightly as he started grinding into me at a slow and steady pace. I gripped into his back and I felt his skin break easily under my hands. He didn't seem to notice at all as his lips started to suck right behind under my right ear and his hand cupped my entire breast. He palmed it lightly before increasing the pressure and rotating it slightly, causing my nipple to twist and harden. He moaned just as I did at this action. I couldn't get enough of this and all I wanted was more. I wanted this more than anything I had ever wanted. It consumed me more than the thirst and I tried to increase the friction between us, but he was unrelenting.

He moaned once again before whispering into my ear, "I love you."

I stopped. This was just sex. This wasn't about love. I don't do love. I removed my arms from under his shirt and dropped my leg. He immediately stopped.

Lifting up he hovered above me slightly looking confused, "What?"

I looked at him incredulously before pushing him farther off me so I could sit up next to him. "What? You're asking what? I should be the one asking 'what'. Love?" I scoffed and he looked hurt. "What are you talking about? This." I gestured between us, "You and me right now. That was about sex. And then you go and ruin the mood by spouting some fucking crap about love. What the hell, Jasper?!"

He swiftly stood up and spun to face me. He was looking absolutely vampirific and somehow that was extremely sexy at the same time as being terrifying. His eyes were narrowed and he snarled out, "What do you mean sex? Sex is meaningless without love! This…you and me…that wasn't meaningless! I know you feel something for me Bella, don't go lying to yourself! I see the way you look at me."

I leaned back slightly and laughed. This was so ridiculous. Jasper was really showing his age. The concept of sex and love being tied together was so old fashioned. It had been out of style since the 20s and their petting parties, "I should be turning your statement against you. I see the way you look at me. You want me to. Just give into it. Hell, if love makes you happy, you can pretend that I love you back. But trust me; I'm not one for love. That'll never happen. Now get the fuck back over here and finish what you started! And don't go spouting anymore crap about love." I leaned back on the couch and looked up at him.

He stumbled back as if I had shocked him. "What happened to you? I don't understand. Where is that woman that loved with her entire being? What happened to the woman that could brighten the darkest day? When did you become this…this shell of a person?"

I huffed in annoyance and leaned back forward. Obviously he wasn't going to give me what I wanted. "We've gone over this. But you want to know exactly where Jasper? I'll tell you where she is and when it happened. She's still laying on that forest floor waiting for her 'beloved' to return to her. Well I'm not waiting for that juvenile pussy. And I left that weak girl behind."

His upper lip twisted in a scowl, "Loving is not weak. Love is what makes you strong." He turned from me and walked through the door.

I wouldn't allow Jasper to have the last word and shouted after him, "Don't you sound perfectly cliché." It was true, he was being absolutely ridiculous.

I sat back, crossing my arms and rested my head on the back cushion. It gave me a wonderful view of the popcorn ceiling. I was sulking, yes, but at this point I was too angry to care. At least I got rid of him. That's what I had originally intended to do. Yes, I was only upset because he left me here all hot and bothered. A voice in the back of my mind chirped that I didn't want him to leave and that he had been right, that this was neither who I was nor who I wanted to be. I silenced it harshly. Sometimes my vampire mind was a pain in the goddamn ass. Luckily, I had an easier time turning it off than most.

The door squeaked slightly, breaking me from my staring contest with the ceiling. I rolled my eyes in the direction of the door only to find Rosalie walking confidently into the room. She glanced down at me before slumping down on the couch next to me.

I rolled my head to the side to look at her perfect face. Somehow her perfection still pissed me off, "You know I could rip you apart right now with your brother not being in the room to protect you."

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, "You're not going to."

I let the silence fill the room as I positioned my head to look at the ceiling again. She just wasn't worth the energy when I could sit here and sulk. We sat for several minutes, neither of us moving.

"You know why he's upset, right?" Her musical voice filled the air and I shrugged nonchalantly. I don't know why Rosalie was trying to have a heart to heart with me. I mean, sure, we had been on tolerant terms the last few weeks, but we weren't even close to sitting in a room alone together discussing private matters, "He's from a different time and culture, Bella. Things were different back then. Good girls waited until they were married. He's the type that still says ma'am to ladies. What you just asked him to do was treat you without respect. And at the same time you were disrespecting him."

"Well that's not how I grew up." Renee was a free spirit…pretty much out of the 70s and I was the adult in the situation. But respect for self wasn't ever categorized the way Rosalie seemed to be implying.

She sighed. Leaning up, she mirrored my position, "I know. I mean, I didn't even grow up with the strict upbringing that he did."

"Yeah, but you'd think after living through all these times that he'd realize the world isn't the same. Sex. That's not a big deal."

"The world swings both ways all the time, Bella. The 20s were liberal and the 30s were conservative. I became like this when the world was a very different place and a lot of the time it feels like I'm stuck there. I lived when all a woman wanted was to get married to a man that could support her and have children. Her duty was just that. And I remember when I was younger I lived when women wanted to support themselves and were wild. But my real forming years were more conservative. I knew what my duty was and I sought to carry it out and have the easy life."

"Her duty was to be objectified, Rosalie. That hasn't changed. Times swing back and forth but women are always objectified. All that's changed is the way men go about doing so and how the women accept it."

"Women accept too damn much, Bella. You should have more respect for yourself to do what you just did. He's not going to just take advantage of you and leave you alone and hurt after. Sex is a big deal. It's one of the biggest deals. You may think you're not emotionally attached, but you are. I can promise you that. I see how you look at my brother. I see how he looks at you. What you would have done was not sex."

I swung in a sitting position. She quickly mirrored mine. I was getting upset now. Why was this any of her business? She should just go back to her perfect little life, "Just because you and Emmett have this fairytale life of love and happiness doesn't mean you can go around assigning it to other people! Your life is your life and mine is mine! We're different people. Edward hurt me! Is that what you want to know? He really, really hurt me! I was as good as dead for months! You've never had that. You have Emmett! He would never reject you. He would never tell you he never loved you and didn't want you!"

I wanted to rip her apart for bringing this up. Maybe it was true that all of my problems really did stem back to Edward, but she somehow pulled it out of me. It was disgusting.

She stared at me, as if looking threw me. It was more than unnerving. "I take it Edward never told you about how I was turned."

"Just that you were turned by Carlisle and had been attacked or something. He didn't believe in telling other people's business to the entire world. The only thing I ever agreed with him on." I didn't see what this had to do with anything. I sat back and folded my arms. Obviously Rosalie was going to continue and she wanted me to listen. If I just sat here she would leave sooner and I could go back to sulking.

She sighed before reaching forward and wrenching my hand from my arms. She held it in hers and was silent a moment, "Bella, I was engaged before I was turned. He was perfect for me. Rich and handsome. He could really take care of me and we could have little beautiful babies. He showed me how much he didn't love me, Bella. He's the reason I'm like this today. He and his friends raped me and left me for dead in the middle of the street. In the middle of the fucking street! Carlisle came upon me and changed me without a choice. I just wanted to die. I never wanted this life."

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: I can barely believe you guys got me at 200. It was a wonderful surprise. Once again I'm so sorry for the wait. I hope this chapter made up for that! Thanks for reading and please review!**

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	15. The Forest

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**Chibi-Kari: First off I don't own. Second off, thanks for all the reviews and patience. Here is another chapter! Last night I wrote the confrontation between Bella and Alice. It's about two or so chapters in the future, though. I'll send anyone that wants a little teaser one if they review saying they want to see! *tries to tempt reviews out of people* You guys are the ones that make me successful. Thank you for everything. I hope to have the next chapter up Tuesday. I can't promise, but I'll definitely try!**

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Let Go

**Chapter 15 – The Forest**

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(Jasper's POV)

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I was pacing the living room. Somehow all the vampires minus Rosalie and Emmett had managed to make their way to the couches in the living room, watching me have my mini breakdown. I loved her. Fuck I did! But I wasn't planning on telling her yet. Not like that. And then her reaction.

My hands made their way to my golden hair and I tugged on the ends hard. It was a habit that I had since I was human. When I was stressed or couldn't handle a situation I tugged on my hair. The pain kept me in the present and out of my head. I remember the first time I killed a soldier back when I first joined the Confederate Army. That night I walked into the dark of the forest praying for something to happen to me. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see were his dead eyes. His face. I didn't know him. I remember thinking that I wouldn't even know who killed me. I questioned if it was right to fight. I questioned my entire life. Everything was falling apart; I was falling apart in that moment. I remember sitting down on a large bolder and tugging at my hair. That was the first time, of many, that I pulled so hard I made myself bleed.

If I were human, I would be bleeding right now. This felt like the worst situation of my life. I had always been in control. I was always the best and had the easiest time. I was the best at charming people as a human. I was the best with the newborns when I was with Maria. And damn it, I was the best protector when I was with the Cullens. It was this fucking girl that always caused me to fail! Sure I was having a hard time sticking to the diet, but it wasn't until her that I almost completely failed. It wasn't until her that my marriage failed. And it wasn't until she pulled this crap about not even thinking of me in a love way that made me fail with sex. She fucking frustrated me to no end! And she was blocking her fucking emotions.

"Shit! Fucking shitface little-" I started mumbling obscenities under my breath. Normally this helped me gain back a semblance of calm. I was a fucking empath. I know how important it is to release bottling emotions. Hell, fighting Emmett might help.

I looked over at him. For the first time in my life I saw Emmett frightened. He shrunk back into the couch. "No, dude. I know what you fucking want and the answer is no. Not while you're in that shape. Rosie'll be looking for pieces of me for months."

I glanced at Demetri who was on the couch next to him, "No way. If big guy does not want to I will not either. I'm Volturi. I am not stupid." His Russian accent seeped through and it pissed me off more. Bella was really close with this piece of shit and Emmett liked him too. He can't just come and start taking over my family.

"Jasper, go hunt. You'll feel better." Eleazar tried to be the voice of reason when I started to growl at Demetri.

It was a good idea. I needed a run. I needed to control this anger. Bella and her damn 'That was about sex. And then you go and ruin the mood by spouting some fucking crap about love.' Sure I knew that you could have sex without love. I had had plenty of it, but damn it! I wouldn't be doing that with her. She deserved fucking respect. And I deserved her fucking respect!

I growled once more before tearing through the door. I would owe Tanya a door. I ran faster than I had before into the forest. For a moment I felt like if I could run fast enough everything would be okay. I was a creature of emotions, I always had been and they had never failed me before. I came to an abrupt stop. This was the place where Bella and I talked just two weeks ago.

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(Flashback)

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_She couldn't touch me and I wasn't exactly sure why or how I knew this._

_She tilted her head back and raised an eyebrow, taking in my form slowly, "I can't? How are you going to stop me? No one has ever stopped me." Her voice was matter of fact, but it still didn't shake the feeling that she wouldn't be able to hurt me._

_It was like second nature, I reached out with my power and pushed as much calm and serenity at her as I could. I couldn't feel her, but I somehow knew I could affect her. I just knew that this would work, "Do you want to try?"_

_Her eyes widened as she swayed on her feet slightly. The amount of calm and serenity was clouding her body and she looked as if she was going to fall to the ground. "How are you doing this? I'm a perfect shield. No one can get through with any attack. No one!" Her protestation came out as an awed statement instead of the indignation I was sure she would normally have felt in this situation._

_"I can. And now you are going to fucking listen to me and understand. I'm doing this for you, Bella."_

_I sent another wave at her and she landed gracelessly on her ass. She stared up wide-eyed and slack jawed. "What-"_

_"Didn't I just tell you that you were going to shut up and fucking listen to me?" Her mouth snapped closed, but she couldn't bring herself to glare at me. I was smothering her emotions. "We. We are family no matter how much you try to deny it. You became family the first time Edward brought you into our house."_

_"But he left me."_

_I sighed, "Obviously you don't listen. I don't give a flying rat's ass about if Edward left you or not. You're family. I wouldn't fucking almost die to save a human from a deranged vampire if I didn't consider her family. Don't you remember that saying about not being able to pick your family? Well it's in effect immediately."_

_Her eyes widened. I could see her mind reeling, trying to find a way to negate my statement. Why would a stranger help someone they barely knew, risking their life? I could see that she couldn't find an answer. I knew when she went to James to protect us it was because she loved us. We were family from the first moment we meant. I could even remember the exact moment I regretted thinking of helping Rosalie kill her. It was chess. She was awful at it. She'd back herself into situations and have to concede. This was one of those moments now. She was the same Bella deep down._

_She flew to a standing position and gripped me by the shirt. She didn't want to believe. Although, I couldn't feel her emotions, I could still see them in her eyes. Bella was expressive and I wasn't completely closed off from her. "Edward didn't want me! I wasn't good enough for him! How could I be good enough for you? What if I didn't want you? Would you still be my family? Family gives up on each other all the time. You see it in the news! You'll give up on me too!"_

_"We won't." I turned from her and started to make my way back to the house. I heard her slowly start to follow. We'd come to an agreement. I could stop her and she would let me because deep down she knew she was still our family. She just didn't want to admit that she still considered us family. Bella was afraid. Edward had done this to her._

_Luckily, she still rushed into things and couldn't find a way out of them, like chess years ago. Bella backed herself into family again. Only this time I would lead her through._

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(End of Flashback)

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I just had to be patient with her. I could get through. I could get her. I always did like a challenge.

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TBC

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**Chibi-Kari: I'll try to have a new one ready on Tuesday. Thanks for reading an please review!**

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	16. Determined

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Chibi-Kari: Well I still don't own. But I do keep my promises, obviously! I gave everyone that reviewed last chapter a sneak peek of the Alice / Bella Chapter and here is another chapter! Yayness. Let's all give a good shout hurray. Oh boy…the weekend with my two year old niece has ruined my brain… Soon we'll be getting to the real Bella Jasper love. I'm sorry for the real slow build. And I'm sorry to say it'll keep building a little longer. My Bella doesn't give in so fast. But when it does happen, it'll be quick. That's just the way I view vampires. That's how it was with her as a human and it seems the same for the vampires too. They jump immediately after they look.

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 16 – Determined**

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**(Bella's POV)**

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I had cried for her. No one should ever have to go through what he did to her. I could understand her hatred now. When we are changed, those last emotions carry through to our new life. Fear. Confusion. Anger. Hatred. Refusal to change. We can't let go of those. They are as central to our personalities as the blood lust is. All of those made Rosalie who she is. They almost seemed to define her. Years ago, they had.

I had always hoped that when I would be changed it would be through love. Edward would change me and we would live out the rest of our days in perfect bliss. That I would carry that love over and be able to love with all of my being. Happiness and love. That was my dream. Instead I have self-loathing. Confusion. I wish I had hatred; at least that is constructive. The hatred I feel is new. It happened after the change. Edward stripped away my confidence and my security instead of giving me the love and happiness I dreamt of. And I was left like this. A shell of a person…or at least I know that's what both Jasper and Rosalie believe I am. Nothing could fix this; nothing could fix me. Nothing except for the shift that many vampires talk about. The moment where your life rearranges as if a new sun appears. I have yet to feel that and I'm beginning to think it's the only mythical thing about the vampire fables.

God knows that we all learned from Alex that incubuses impregnating women is real. Poor kid. Jane was furious and killed the poor girl horrifically. Blood, brains, the whole nine yards. The brothers had wanted to see what the child would be like, but a furious Jane and a scared shitless Alex pretty much ended their 'let's wait and see attitude.' God knows that little girl has some gall when she wants to. Sadly, most of the time she wants to just be a good little soldier.

Speaking of which, I needed to call her. She would want a piece of Victoria after what had happened in Forks. Jane was a sadist, but even she was sickened by Victoria. I hadn't been there and I was glad. Every moment I was glad of it. I didn't need that imbedded in my mind for the rest of eternity. I just thanked whatever crappy deity is in the sky that my father had fallen in love with Sue. That one little fact saved him from Victoria. He was protected constantly by those dogs now that he's moved down to the reservation. I'll never see him again, but knowing he's safe is such a relief. I should be worried about Renee and Phil, but I really wasn't. My mother had more than one hundred lives. Her dying just doesn't seem realistic.

"Rosalie?" We had been silent for several minutes after she stopped sobbing. She had worked herself up and sobbed for almost an hour.

"Yeah?" Her beautiful voice was a little raw. I wouldn't have noticed it if I didn't have superior hearing.

"Did you ever find out when your parents died? I mean did you try to find out what happened to them?" I glanced over at her. She was still.

"I found out. It seemed like closure on my life. It was weird, though. I really almost wish I hadn't had tried to find out. I felt awful because I didn't care. They were like fuzzy memories. Like they weren't even real, just a figment of my imagination. I felt like the worst daughter. God knows they weren't perfect, but they did raise me. I should have felt something. Instead, the only thing I mourned is the loss of the life I was supposed to have. I still mourn that loss." She turned and looked up at me. Her golden eyes were piercing. I didn't need to look into her eyes to know she was telling me the truth. One thing about Rosalie was that she had never lied to me. She was always honest.

"Ah." It was all I could really say. She was right. I didn't think they were real. They didn't seem real. It was so clear to me now. I wouldn't care when they died.

"The only people that seem real are the ones in your last thoughts. Royce and his friends were my reality. Even after I massacred them, they were still real. They still were able to torment me. Are you parents your reality?"

I shook my head slightly, "No. Through the burn all I could think about was New York and how I left them there like that. How worried Angela must be. I still think about how much pain she must be in. I don't think I want to know when my parents die. I only hope it's a happy death."

She smiled slightly as she tilted her head. Her blonde hair pooled over her shoulder and I vaguely remembered the moment I first saw her. I thought she was the most beautiful. I was wrong. It was in this moment that she was the most beautiful, "You know. I actually thought you might have thought of us during the change. Maybe be angry with us. Edward at least. For not saving you."

"Hm? No. I didn't think of you until after. When I was trying to abstain." I shrugged lightly.

Her eyes widened and one of her hands shot to my shoulder, "You tried to abstain? You didn't want to drink humans! Stop then! You can. I can help. We all can help. Jasper especially! If you want to, you don't have to go on like this. Carlisle will be so proud to hear that you tried. How long were you able to last? Every day counts!" She nodded to herself.

"I lasted a couple months. But Rosalie you seem to think I don't want to live like this. I don't care if Carlisle is proud or not. This is my life. I choose this every day. If I didn't want to do this anymore I wouldn't. I'd just stop. My life is my own and I don't want any of the Cullens involved in it. Just because we're talking doesn't make us friends and it certainly doesn't make us family. You have no right." I knew it was cold. I hoped it hurt. I wasn't as angry with them as before and forgiveness was still part of me. It was so easy for me to fall back into that. I had almost forgiven Rosalie completely by now. Alice no. Never. Victoria…absolutely not. Edward. Not planning on it anytime soon, although I couldn't really blame him for not loving me.

She released me from her grip and nodded slightly, "He'll still be proud and I am too. You are amazing Bella. I wish I would have told you this when you were human. You are worth so much more than you think. You need to respect yourself more."

This was so cliché. I felt like it was a bad teenage movie. Soon we would be painting each other's toenails and talking about boys and sex. "Okay. And you need to love yourself less."

Her voice broke out in musical laughter. It filled the room and I admitted to myself that it was one of the loveliest melodies I had ever heard, "Maybe I should. Okay, how about this. I'll love myself less if you love yourself more."

"Hmmmm…and my mind just entered the gutter." She laughed harder and I joined in.

"So did mine." The booming voice made me jump slightly. Emmett was standing in the doorway. "I think I need a camera. Can't you girls take off a little clothes? Skimpy pajamas, maybe? It'll be great. I'm sure I can sell it for the big bucks!"

I laughed harder. Harder than I ever had. Demetri and I were like children when we were with each other, but being with Rosalie and Emmett was different than that. I felt light with them. Something I had never really experienced. For a moment I found myself wishing they were family. I tried to crush it, but I could feel that the thought had already taken root. It would be there, I just hoped it wouldn't grow.

The sound of the front door slamming open abruptly ended our laughing fit. God, now I really felt bad for Tanya. She would have to get all her fucking doors and walls replaced before this was over. I could smell Jasper as soon as he hit the stairs. Within seconds he was standing in front of me.

"Come on." He pushed past Emmett and grabbed my wrist pulling me up. Before my vampire mind could even focus on what was happening, Jasper had me halfway down the stairs. The last thing I heard before we made it out of the house was Rosalie saying "And that is a man on a mission." She and Emmett shared light laughter. Then she called to me just as Jasper shut the door, "You love him." I didn't want to admit it, but I did feel something.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks for reading and please review! The more reviews the happier I am. I know that my work is appreciated then…BTW my story has been alerted by 180+ people…that just seems crazy…**

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	17. Cliché

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Chibi-Kari: So I was planning on having this up yesterday, but I had a horrible day at work. Today I pretty much broke it down for my bosses that I loved working for them, but their time with me was running down. They were very understanding and said they would help with my future endeavors because of everything that has been going on with some fellow co-workers. I just can't work with two of these people for much longer. It's like high school all over again, although they did get caught doing it on Thursday…idiots. But I don't want to be in a situation like that any longer. But today I got some amazing reviews and I felt so much better about everything. So I got in the mood to write again! I don't own.

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 17 – Cliché**

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**(Jasper's POV)**

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My grip stayed firm until we reached an open area of the forest. I let go of her hand and let her stand taking in the site before her. Maybe I was overdoing it, but the romantic in me was honed to a perfect point from being with Alice all of those years. For the first time in a long time I felt fondness when thinking of my ex-wife. I was prepared to woo Bella's pants right off because of her. And oh how I would literally woo her fucking pants off, just not tonight. Sure I was a gentleman and that was what I was fucking showing her right now, but before that I was a man and she would never forget that.

I heard her nearly inaudible gasp. She took two steps forward, standing only inches behind me. I could feel her warmth radiating into me. She had lost control of her shield and I could feel her love. It was being smothered, but I could take care of that. I'd do it the old fashioned way and in one fucking night. Who needed powers when you had southern charm oozing out of every vampirific pore? Not me that was for sure. I was going to pull every number in the book and damn well mean it.

I had filled the small clearing, which couldn't be more that one hundred feet in diameter, full of candles. Something about fire was appealing even though it could kill us. It was almost a reminder. They spanned out from a simple picnic blanket. I glanced over my shoulder at her. Her skin glistened perfectly in the light. She was fucking beautiful. Her crimson eyes were still drinking in the setup. I turned slightly and captured her hand once again. Tugging lightly, I was able to lead her to the blanket. Her eyes caught mine and she couldn't stop the smile that graced her face.

She sat down, pulling me by the hand with her, "I have to admit it is beautiful, but isn't it a bit cliché? Once again you seem more romantic than I pictured you." She smirked lightly; she was trying to close off to me again. Oh was she in for a surprise.

I smirked, "Oh honey, you just think it's cliché. I can guarantee that nothing about me is cliché. At the end of this night you'll be begging for more of this. And I'll gladly give it."

Her eyes narrowed slightly before she started laughing, "What are you going to do next? Pull out a guitar and serenade me?"

I had to smile at this. She was perfect. "Are you sassin' off to me? No. I'm not gunna be singing to you tonight. Not to say that I won't ever, but that's not on the list for tonight."

She leaned back on to her arms. Her head rocked back as she breathed in the night hair. It was one of the most erotic sights I had ever seen, but I wouldn't act on it. I had better plans. Simpler plans.

"Then what are we going to do? It's not like we can have a real midnight picnic. I don't think you'd approve of me eating so close to you and I certainly won't be joining your little meal." She raised an eyebrow.

The first thing I needed to do after getting her for fucking good would be getting rid of this little dietary mishap. It wasn't like she was doing it for any other reason than defiance. If she had actually wanted it then that would be a different story. I don't plan on letting her want for anything when she finally chooses me, but some things had to go. Her attitude, although incredibly sexy, some of it had to go. But damn her sass and back talking would have to stay. I wanted that little challenge and fire to stick around. Edward's Bella did everything he wanted. Bella's Bella thought for herself and I sure as hell was going to encourage that. Although she'd be my mate I would never let her become fucking Jasper's Bella. But diet is number one on my hit list. I can't stand feeling what she's doing to those poor humans that she's killing. And I fucking hate the feelings they have when they aren't being poor little humans that are being killed. Some of those damn men died at their happiest. It didn't matter, once she had me she wouldn't be going back to that little hobby. Everything really is fucking bigger in Texas.

"Although wine glasses full of blood would be romantic, the whole getting cold business makes it a no. And the only fucking time I want to see you drinking from a fucking carcass will be when you really hunted it. Primal." Her face was priceless. She was stuck between shocked and aroused. God bless her, she liked a man with a dark side. And fuck yeah was I going to give her all of me.

She leaned forward, slowly coming on to her hands and knees. Her hair cascaded, touching the blanket lightly as her eyes caught mine. Now this really was the most fucking erotic thing I'd seen. Bella crawling towards me was going into my memory banks for future reference. "We could do other things." Her voice purred to me and I almost lost it and pinned her on the blanket, but this wasn't the plan. If I took her now I would only be giving her what she wanted, not what she needed.

I waited until she was only inches in front of me. I stopped her gently with a caress of her cheek. Her eyes widened. This wasn't what she was expecting. "We won't be doing that either, darlin'."

She tried to lean back, but I spun her and pulled her back flush against mine. She struggled for a moment before leaning into me. Once again, I felt fucking complete.

"Then what will we be doing?" I heard the confusion in her voice more than felt it.

"Sittin'." It was simple and she wouldn't understand. I knew that, but this is what she needed. I had felt her self-loathing and uncertainty. She tried to take control of everything because she didn't feel in control. I could give her certainty. And I could give her her self-respect back.

We were silent several moments as my arms seemed to mold into her body. I was starting to think fucking cliché things. "You're worth it."

The words slipped out before I could think about them and she stiffened, "Really-"

"You're worth it." I whispered in her ear. I put everything I had into those three words. I would repeat them for fucking eternity if that's what it takes, but I knew it wouldn't.

"I know you think that." Her voice was quiet, but I could feel her hope bubbling. She really wanted to believe she was.

"No. You are worth it."

She sighed lightly and I felt her smile.

"You're worth it and I won't fucking leave you. I don't care if you don't want me. I'm stuck to you like dog shit on your shoe…I'll never really go away."

She burst out in laughter and I felt her love multiply. It was fucking amazing and I felt like I was on a high. I knew she would love that. This Bella loved the inappropriate.

"You're right. Dog shit never goes away! Oh God! This one time Demetri stepped in some. Oh it's so much fucking worse with vampire senses. I thought I was going to smell it for the rest of my life. Thank God he threw the damn things out. Oh shit it was so funny!" She had leaned her head against my shoulder to look up at me. Her eyes danced and for once she wasn't being held down by those ugly feelings.

The candles were dying down, but I would continue to hold her until the morning. She gave me what I needed as much as I gave it to her.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: And damn, almost 250 reviews! That's craziness. Please continue on with it, though. I hope to have three hundred by the end of this story. Please help me get that! Thanks for reading and please review! Lemons to come…**

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	18. Shield

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Chibi-Kari: Oh my goodness gracious! I got so many reviews that I don't know what to do with myself…270! Wow, you guys are too good to me. So as a treat I'm giving you an extra long chapter (my longest to date) with a lemon! I don't own, but I wish I did! You all know my ultimate goal for my story. 50,000 words and 300 reviews…it looks like I'll hit both before this ends!

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 18 – Shield**

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**(Bella's POV)**

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I had felt it that night. That mythical shift. God Damn it, nothing in this world is obviously mythical. Where the hell are the witches? Because God knows I've met every other fucking mythical creature from Aswangs to a fucking Wendigo. But this experience was phenomenal. I didn't know how it happened or why, but in that moment Jasper was saying everything that I needed. He meant every word of it, no matter how hard I tried to deny anything he said to me. Jasper thought I was worth it. It was the same as that night in Phoenix, that night he made me feel like family for the first time. Before that I was always just Edward's. That night in Phoenix I was the Cullens' and nothing would hurt me because of that, or so I had thought.

In reality nothing would hurt me when I was with Jasper. He had been the one from the start that tried to make me comfortable without giving in easily. He gave me strength and confidence through everything he did. Even chess. He would bury me, but he knew I would have secretly hated if he had let me win. He always knew what was best for me, encouragement without smothering. Edward smothered. Jasper cared; he was a protector without the weight. God help me, I was in love. I swore after Edward I would never do that again, but Jasper was relentless.

And damn it, the feeling of being in his arms was amazing. He wrapped me in love. It was overwhelming, but just right. I couldn't explain it. He gave me everything I needed. Not everything I wanted. Sadly, his sparkly ass stayed clothed. God, was he every girls dream of a man. But I wanted him in the best kind of way. He wouldn't be giving it to me anytime soon. I knew that and he did. But he has to have fucking God on his side. Only grace can give him the strength to withstand everything I've been doing. All the tricks in the book. Dropping towels. Practical groping. He thought it was funny and would just reply with, "Soon you won't know what hits you. Not yet." Rose thought that was funny.

It's been two weeks from that magical night and if I had known he was going to make me wait this long I would have fucking lit him on fire with those candles. Our kind doesn't have to wait when we know. We know forever is forever for our kind, obviously not Alice and Jasper. Thank God.

Speaking of the little pixie ex-best friend bitch, she'd be here in a few days. All of the Cullens would be here.

A light knock on the door of the library pulled me out of my thoughts. It had become my place. I loved the scent of books. It reminded me of one of the trips I took with Rene and Phil. He had done a game in Florida, so we decided to go and look at the colleges around there. We went to University of Florida. Rene and Phil were stuck on the gators, but I felt at home at Florida State University. God knows if I had never met Edward I would be a FSU Seminole right now. They had one of the most amazing English departments, but what had sold me was the smell on the fifth floor annex of Strozier Library. All of their old literature books were there and the smell was amazing. Although I wasn't a fan of all the Biology students that would sit up there and study. Seriously, why were they in the literature section of the library? And God knows they fucking glared if someone that was supposed to be there looked for a book.

"Come in." The door opened to reveal Rosalie, shit eating grin in place.

She bounded over, "So I take it jumping on him and pushing him into the closet right after he got out of the shower didn't work."

I nodded as she sat down. Two weeks had scrapped what was left of the animosity had I had towards her. The damn girl was hard to hate. She was so complete in everything she felt. If she loved you you damn well knew it.

"Well fuck. You were naked, right? That man has balls of steal. I would have done you if you hopped on to me naked." We both laughed at her joke as she shook her head at Jasper. Recently she had started coming up with ways to help me. Emmett wasn't quite the fan of this plan. He had seen what one Cullen had done to me and wasn't exactly jumping on the bandwagon.

"Camera?" Emmett's shout boomed from downstairs causing us to laugh harder. If I was human I'm sure I would have died from laughter by now.

"I know, right? I'm hot. Seriously. He just spouted his crap about when I'm ready. Well you know what? I'll be ready when he flips it out. But damn that man has some fucking self-denial. How the hell did he have problems with his blood lust when he can pull this crap for fucking weeks?" I was almost in awe at this point.

Rosalie's mouth stretched out to the side, "I wonder how much of that was our fault? I mean he had to feel our blood lust on top of his own. That must have fucking been misery. God knows I barely handle my own sometimes and Emmett. Well we know he has very little self control." She shimmied her shoulders a bit in an almost vulgar sort of way. Poor Emmett. He got it from Rose in person and when he wasn't there. But the shit she said was funny as hell. She was silent for a moment before she locked her golden eyes with mine, "Are you really ready, Bella?"

That was the fucking question, right? I wasn't sure. In some ways I was. I wanted to complete my life with him, but this step was final. "I don't know."

She tilted her head slightly, "Why?"

"It's different, Rose. It'll be different than anything I've ever done before. It was always only about pleasure before. Now it'll mean something."

She took my hand tightly in her's, "You know what happened to me. It was hard after that trauma to realize that Emmett wouldn't hurt me. The shift can only do so much. It can't completely erase the memories and feelings left behind. Sex was such a violent image to me, but when I talked with him about it, he was so sweet. Couldn't really take it seriously, but sweet. He healed me in all the ways that mattered." She took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she was going to say next, "Bella, you're not open to him. You're not even open all the way to me, Emmett, or even Demetri. You need to let him in. Stop shielding yourself from him. He won't leave you. He's not Edward."

I would have cried if I was human. She had named it, named my fear. I hadn't realized what it was until she had said it. Abandonment. Rene had left me for Phil. My father had allowed Rene to take me. The Cullens left me. Edward left me. Jake and my friends left me to suffer. Everyone had pretended I didn't exist except Angela and Ben. My entire life I had been left. A felt a sob break through my body as I gasped for unneeded air. Rosalie pulled me into her arms. Jasper wouldn't leave me. Emmett and Rose wouldn't leave me. Demetri wouldn't leave me. There had been nothing wrong with me. All those people had made mistakes and I was continuing to punish them and everyone else I came in contact with.

"Stop being afraid to be hurt. He won't. I won't. We won't again. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She sobbed those same words that she had been telling me since we met again.

We held each other and I realized what Jasper was waiting for. He wanted all of me and he was willing to wait for it.

I pulled back and took a breath, "I am ready, Rose."

She smiled. "Then let's set this bitch up. He's going to be blown away when he sees what we've got waiting for him."

She pulled out a piece of paper. It was a deed to the old house just of the Denali's property. Jasper had spoken several times about buying it and making it a home for us. I always thought it was funny that he was willing to move in together but wouldn't have sex with me. I guess he wasn't willing to let me go and talking about our future together was his way of telling me.

"I got it yesterday. It's in your name of course." She smiled.

"Why is it in my name?" I was genuinely confused.

"I don't believe in property being in a man's name. Everything we've ever owned was in my name. Or in Carlisle and Esme's case, in Esme's name. It was always something I was adamant about." She shrugged lightly as she turned it over in her hands before handing it to me, "Emmett has been doing work on it. He finished just a few hours ago."

"Wait a second. You didn't help him fix it? Were you working on this before you bought it?" My eyes had widened as I put a timeline together. Even if Emmett worked at vampire speed it would take him a good two days.

She shrugged lightly, "Demetri was helping and the girls were overseeing the work. God knows Demetri and Emmett decorating would have been a fucking disaster. And the actual fixing is man's work. I fix cars, but buildings and such. Man's work." I could never fucking follow her logic. Mental whiplash was an understatement when talking with Rose. "Now we just have to get it ready."

She stood quickly and grabbed my hand pulling me into a run straight out of the house and to my new house. Within seconds we broke into the small clearing that housed my little house. It was beautiful with a fresh coat of white paint and a crimson door. It was everything I could have dreamed of. She stepped closer to the door and glanced over her shoulder at me. Her smile was exquisite as she gestured for us to go inside.

The inside was even more beautiful than the outside. Tanya, Carmen, Irena, and Kate had outdone themselves. I knew they loved to decorate, but they were more talented than I imagined. Their house held more of a comfort aspect, but this place was different. It was modern comfort with a very clean minimalist feel to it. I loved my furniture close to the ground and these girls had implemented that perfectly. We walked the entire house, each room more perfect than the last. Two bedrooms, one bath, a living room, and kitchen. We walked back into the living room. I was in absolute awe.

"This is fucking amazing." Rose nodded in agreement.

"My favorite part is the fireplace. And Bella that's where I recommend you center your evening. Jasper has always loved the idea of fireplaces. It's something about a reminder of this life being temporary, or at least I think it is. He might just be a closet arsonist. But sex in front of a fireplace is fucking amazing anyway. So I don't think it matters." She bent down and ran her fingers through the thick area rug covering the rustic hardwood floors in front of the fireplace. "Here. Although, we don't feel comfort the same way as we did when we were human, this is the perfect scene." She lightly gathered some of the pillows that surrounded it closer together.

Tanya had obviously set this up to be a reading nook. I'd have to thank her for that. They had already done so much for Demetri and I since we arrived, but Tanya was the best. She had truly felt sorry for her comment when I first arrived. I still remember when she had come up to me and apologized about thinking of me like Edward's property. She had said she would hate it if anyone had done that to her. Although I wasn't so sure she would hate it if she was thought of as Demetri's property. They had been taking long "walks" together since the second day we were here. I could already see Demetri's eyes fading into what would soon become a golden color. I felt happy for the fucking traitor, but I still gave him hell for it.

Rose worked quickly and efficiently. I had to admit, as I watched her work, that this was going to be romantic, perfect even.

"Now we just have to set up how he'll find you. Let's skip jumping on him naked again. Something more classy."

She pulled me across the ranch style house to the master bedroom. Hauling me in, she shoved me in front of the closet. Dramatically, obviously she was channeling my ex-best friend, she pulled oven the closet. "You and Demetri pack light so Kate and I took the liberty of finding clothes for you. Of course everything will fit and you'll look amazing in it." She nodded to herself as she pulled out a beautiful dress. "D&G, of course Jasper would love you in sweat pants, but we'll go better. Sexy classy."

I grasped the dress in my hands, it was beautiful. It had a cream base with thick sequences of black silk micro rouches. Its perfection was finished with a sweetheart neckline and the ton-sur-ton waistline ribbon. It was the perfect mixture of sexy and classy, just like Rose said. She suddenly threw a pair of Jimmy Choo's at me. They were the perfect pair of black silk satin sandals. They were plain, but classic and wouldn't take away from the dress.

"Hey now, Rose. You've got great fashion taste, but you should know better than to throw Jimmy Choos." I tried to make my voice stern but failed as we both started to laugh.

"Go, get ready. He'll be back up at the house in about a half hour. I'll send him out here." She stopped for a moment, "Lounge by the fire with a book. You'll be less likely to think about him beforehand and hell, women with books are sexy." She quickly made her way to the door and out before I could even thank her.

I smiled down at the dress and shoes. Rosalie thought of everything. She had quickly become more than my sister. I wouldn't tell her yet. I would let my guard down, but she didn't need to feel any more accomplished for awhile after preparing everything for me. Any more and her head might explode.

I dressed quickly and headed towards the living room. The back wall consisted of a built in bookshelf with all my favorites and several civil war books that I know Jasper loved. They really had thought of everything. I scanned the titles and pulled down a worn copy of Jane Eyre. I hoped it would take my mind off waiting for Jasper to arrive. I looked at the clock. It had only been five minutes since Rose had left, but it was already near ten. The sky had darkened and the room's only light was the dancing fire. I laid on my stomach and opened the book. Inside the cover was Tanya's neat handwriting. 'Don't you just wish a crazy pixie would set the house on fire and stay inside?' I burst out laughing. It was mean, but Tanya wasn't known to be very nice to people she didn't like. Alice was really high on that list.

"What's so funny?" The voiced made me jump a little as my eyes scanned the doorway.

There he stood, the love of my life. His blonde hair fell in perfect curls around his face. His eyes were the most beautiful gold because of his recent hunting trip with Eleazar. But what really took my breath away was his body. Perfectly chiseled and barely concealed by his shirt. I was hoping in a few minutes that would turn into not concealed at all. His skin glistened in the fire light and I almost lost what little self control I had left.

I smiled up at him. He was beautiful and he was mine. "Just a little joke Tanya left for me."

"Hmm?" He quickly crossed the room and sat on the ground next to me. He moved forward slowly placing his left hand on my lower back and trailing it up my spine as he bent down to look at the book. I could hear the amusement in his voice, "Tanya certainly has a mean streak. Remind me to never get on her bad side." His hand brushed my hair over my shoulder and gently dipped down the back of my dress.

My eyes fluttered. His touch lit a fire beneath my cold skin. It was different than the heat of humans that almost scalded my skin. This was something more than physical.

"So Rosalie told me that she bought this place as a present for you." He removed his hand and I almost growled. If he wasn't careful he would either end up in the fire or pinned underneath me. "They did a wonderful job."

I smiled slightly, "They did, didn't they?"

His eyes snapped to mine and they burned with an intensity that I hadn't seen before. "Maybe you should give me a tour. I have to make sure the master bedroom is furnished as well as the living room."

I moved my attention back to the book, "I'm sure you can find it yourself. I'm enjoying the fire right now." I tried to hide my amusement, but I knew I was failing.

He slowly stretched out next to me. "We have forever to look at the other rooms."

I set my book down and rolled slightly to look at him, "That we do."

A sexy smile crept onto his face and I felt my arousal start to pool between my legs. This time was different. He raised an eyebrow, "Well sugar, I can tell you're already ready for me." He leaned closer and let out a breathy whisper, "You're so beautiful."

His left hand settled on my waist playing with the material before skimming over my ass and coming to a halt right below the hemline of the dress on my upper thigh. I couldn't move my eyes from his. A low growl resonated within his chest as his eyes clouded to fathomless black. Moving infinitely slow, he brought his lips to mine.

The kiss started chaste as his fingers started small sweeps on my upper thigh, always staying below my hemline. I brought my arm up to his hair as he swept his tongue over lips. I granted him entrance as he pulled my top leg toward him. I gasped as his lips traveled to my jaw and his hand crept up the inside of my exposed leg. He was enchanting me slowly.

I tried to pull my brain together enough to do more than pant for unneeded breath. My brain finally registered that I needed to feel more of his skin. I brought my hand from his head and traced his collarbone. I trailed my hand slowly down his torso. I lightly spanned my fingers over his six-pack and I smiled as his muscles jerked below my fingers.

He growled again, flipping me on my back and pulling his shirt over his head. He climbed over my body as he looked down at me. "I love this dress." He ran his hands from my bustline to my waist and then back before tearing down the hem. "I'll by you another." For the moment he just looked down at me before shaking his head slightly.

The movement shocked me slightly and I felt an unnatural lack of confidence. I had never had this problem since becoming a vampire, but in that moment all I wanted was to be beautiful to him. The shake of his head frightened me; it brought forward the self-loathing that I had known so well as a human.

"Don't." His voice was stern. "You're the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. So don't." His hands stilled on my waist, "I love you."

He settled himself over me and brought his lips to mine once again. "Wonderful," he breathed as his hand started to travel again.

His touch was sweet and soft; as if he was afraid I was still a fragile human. Jasper made me feel safe and wanted. Loved. I ran my hands down his back, running over his flexing muscles. God he was the sexiest man alive. I ran them around his hips and started to unbutton them. My sure fingers were suddenly faulting as I tried to remove his jeans. He brought his hands to mine and helped them release the button before kicking them off.

His hands immediately returned to my body as he spread my legs and placed his own between them. He groaned as he member came in contact with my thigh. I could feel the slick wetness pooling in my panties. He ran his left hand up my legs again before placing his hand over my throbbing core. I moaned as he started to nip on my neck. I tried to tilt my hips into his hands, but he brought his other hand to my hip to hold me still. "Not yet." He breathed against my neck.

He stilled before adding pressure to my heat and I thought I would die if he didn't move. He kissed back to my lips and I finally felt his hand move. He spread my lower lips gently and started to caress. This time he didn't stop me as I brought my hips up slightly to add more pressure.

He smiled into my lips as pleasure started to build inside me. I could feel it start to coil. I ran my hands down to his ass and ground his penis into my thigh. He growled and pressed harder against me, slipping a long finger inside of me. I could barely think as he curled it up causing waves of pleasure to rip through my body. I could feel myself growing close to release right before he pulled his hand away from me.

I was about to flip him over and have my way with him before he started to kiss and lick his way down my body. He brought his hand up and trailed his fingers lightly below my left breast as he trailed his tongue over my right nipple. He pulled away slightly before blowing on my wet nipple making it harder than I thought possible. I moaned as he brought it in his mouth, sucking, as he started to palm my other breast, rolling and tweaking my left nipple. After a few moments he switch, lavishing the same type of attention on the opposite breast. He brought his right hand up and trailed it down the valley of my breasts as he started placing open mouth kissed down the rest of my body.

As he reached my lower abdomen, my muscles started under his lips. Within seconds my legs were slung over his shoulders as he attached his lips to my heat. I throbbed as he licked hard down my slit. He swirled around my clit before sucking harshly on it. I came hard. My entire body shuddered has he held his arms firm on my legs, his hands placed firmly on my ass, kneading it.

I was still shuddering as he crawled back above me. I reached down through my pleasure high and wrapped my hand around his length. It pulsed and I started to move it before he reached down and unwrapped it, "No, sugar. Not tonight. Tonight is all about you."

He leaned down and brought his lips to mine again as he slid inside me in one quick move. We both stopped momentarily, looking in each other's eyes. I could see his love shining through the lust. I reached out with my emotions and tried to let him feel all my love for him. His eyes fluttered closed as a tremor racked through his body, "I know. I know."

I brought my hand up to his beautiful face. I ran my hand over his cheek as he started to move within me. The firelight reflected off his body and his scars shattered the light reflecting it like a kaleidoscope. It was the most beautiful thing I had seen.

My body started to coil again and he pulled one of my legs up, hitching it around his body. His movements became jerky as he got closer to his own release. Jasper pulled me up against his body as both of our orgasms overcame us.

He pulled me down and pulled my back against his chest. We were both breathing heavily as we lay in our post sex high.

"I love you, Jasper." It was the first time those words had left my lips and I felt him smile against the back of my neck as he placed a kiss there.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks for reading! I hope it was okay…please review. This was my first full lemon ever. Pointers on how to become better will be accepted! You are all amazing!**

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	19. Prologue

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Chibi-Kari: Okay this is the longest chapter I have ever written in my entire life. Enjoy all 5K+ of it! And yes! Alice is back! This is the confrontation chapter many of you got a piece of a few chapters ago. I decided not to split it because A) I love you all and B) I thought it ran better this way. I tried to add a little humor in it because, frankly, I don't do well without adding a little humor into my stories.

**My new story Broken Lights will be released soon as this story will be wrapping down soon and I already have chapter two written of it. I absolutely love the story (and that's rare for me). It has a whole lot of Peter and Charlotte in its Jasper/Bellaness. And I'm thinking of doing a little humor fic about what Stephanie Meyers really mean to write. Basically I'll be rewriting scenes with funny dialogue. I don't know what you guys think of that. Give me an opinion, I have a really funny one for Victoria's whole mate for a mate thing…and of course Laurent's altercation with Bella in New Moon.**

**I don't own and I'm ending this really long author's note!**

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 19 – Prologue**

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**(Bell's POV)**

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Three days had passed quickly from our first night in our house. Although it was in my name it would always belong to both Jasper and I…of course I would never say that around Rose. Oh and poor Demetri, that fucker has to listen to Tanya go on and on about Rose and her idea that men shouldn't own anything. Not to say I'm not for women owning property, nothing of the sort. But damn it, I don't think Rose is exactly for that. I think she is a man slavist. I had always thought "how does Rose put up with Emmett." Now I know better. Poor guy. He mouths off to her all the time and she beats his ass into submission. He must be a fucking masochist.

I on the other hand wasn't a masochist. After that night everything wrong in my life seemed to disappear. When I told him I loved him it seemed like everything stopped. I felt like I never had before. Whole. It was almost like a big secret that I was afraid would ruin my entire world, but now that it was gone I had nothing to worry about.

My relationship with Jasper was so very different than my one with Edward. Jasper completed me while Edward tore me apart slowly. The human mind is like a sieve…he told me once. Time heals all. I don't know if it would have nor not, but that ended up not being an option for me. All those years ago I fell to the ground and didn't come up…didn't come up for months. I might have stayed like that forever if it hadn't been for Angela. I can only see the good that she did for me, whereas I'm sure she only thinks she caused more harm. I can almost feel that she's in her home somewhere wondering if I'm still alive. At the same time I'm sitting in my house waiting for my love to return. Everything was completely different from how I planned. All those plans were ruined the last time I saw Edward, the moment he told me that it would be like he never existed. But now, I'm grateful to him… I wouldn't take a second of it back. Not Edward breaking me. Not Angela begging me to go with her. Not Demetri finding me and bringing me to a swift death. Fuck, not even Victoria. And it's all because it brought me to Jasper. I would hold on to all them.

I stretched out farther on my bed. Irena had done a fucking fantastic job picking out this bed. I never thought anything could feel comfortable as a vampire, but fuck this bed was. I smiled as I heard the door slam. Jasper was home. I stood up slowly and started to make my way towards the bedroom door. I couldn't wait for Jasper to get here so I could be in his arms once again. And I couldn't wait until this weekend was over and Victoria's head was in a pyre. Then all of this would be left in the past. This was just a prologue to my future with Jasper and it was the longest fucking prologue I have ever suffered through!

He was suddenly in front of me with a sexy smirk gracing his features. I reached forward, placing my hand on his neck. He had obviously been wrestling with Emmett in the sunshine. His skin was warmer than normal and his slacks were covered in mud and torn in some places.

"Have fun with Em?" I stepped forward as he gathered me into his arms.

"Um hum. But I could think of a few better ways to get some exercise with you, sugar." He leaned his head to the left as he tugged my hair exposing my neck to him.

"Oh." I knew where this would end if I continued to allow him to ravage my neck like this, "We shouldn't. Rose said we need to get back to the main house. I think everyone's coming in today."

He pulled back and nodded slightly. A serious expression came across his face, "I need to say a few things to you before we go and see them." I nodded slightly. When Jasper was serious like this you listened. "I don't want you going anywhere near Edward. I don't care if the fucking world is going to end and all that will save it is being within fifty feet of him. Don't. And I know you want a piece of Alice. Please wait. You can rip her apart after the fucking fight. I'm sure Tanya and Rose will help you. So just stay away from her too. We need her visions and her hand in battle and I know you'll try not to rip her apart, but it's not smart."

"Is that why you won't let me near Edward either? You're afraid I'll rip him apart? I promise I won't. I won't go near him either, but I really don't care. I have you." Edward barely was a bleep on my radar. I was angry, yes, but remembering him was hard. All I had was my blame for him.

He sighed before locking eyes with me. "That's not it. If anyone would tear him apart it would be me. Just the idea of that fucker being anywhere near you makes me absolutely sick. I know you don't feel anything, but he still will. The idea of him makes me want to roll around in the sheets with you for hours just so you smell like me." He stopped a moment as I raised my eyebrow. He was on thin ice. "But I won't. I'll only roll around in the sheets with you for hours for the right reason."

"And that reason?"

"Because you fucking scream my name so loud it turns me on for another go. It takes damn hours." His statement sounded more like a question and I couldn't help but laugh at his joke.

"I would have settled with love."

He smiled down at me, "Well that's a given. On to Carlisle and Esme. Bella, they fucking miss you. They don't know you're here. Alice can't see us because of your shield. They'll be beside themselves. Please don't hurt them. Especially not Esme. It would kill her. I know they hurt you, but for fucks sake Bella please be nice. And in return I'll stop Carlisle from harassing you."

I couldn't imagine being mean to them. They were just honoring their first son's request. The only thing they were guilty of was loving their children too much. Rose and Emmett had explained what Edward had said to them and I couldn't hold that against them. But I had to admit I didn't know what it would be like actually seeing them. I was still hurt. Jasper knew that better than I did. It was something so deep in me and I didn't think it would ever go away. I was damaged and all I could do was move one.

He sighed, "I know you won't mean to. I feel it you know. When you think too hard on them, too hard on your past. It'll never go away, but I promise I won't hurt you anymore. Neither will they. No one will."

I smiled at him. He looked so serious, but he really was making a promise that he couldn't keep. I wouldn't hold him to it, "I won't be mean to them. I'll be on my best fucking behavior."

He nodded but didn't say anything. I ran my hand through his hair and he closed his eyes for a moment, "Go get dressed. Rose'll kill us if you walk in looking like Emmett still had you stuck in the mud."

He flitted into the room and started to strip. I followed him with my eyes. I just couldn't get enough of him. I would fill my life with him completely if I could. He glanced over his shoulder and wiggled his ass at me as he stepped out of his pants. I couldn't help but giggle. He was fucking cocky. He thought he was God's gift to me. And damn it, he was. Maybe I needed to listen to Rose a little more on how to break a guy of his attitude.

That thought quickly vanished as he turned and put on his clean shirt slowly so I could watch all the muscles in his chest ripple. Fuck it, cocky Jasper is hot. He stalked towards me slowly before breaking out a shit eating grin and running towards me. He picked me up as he ran towards the main house. I couldn't help but break out into elated laughter.

He stopped abruptly about 500 feet from the house, "Fucking tension is thick as hell."

I wiggled a bit so he would let me down, "Does it matter? This will all be over soon." I walked forward two steps before holding my hand out to him. I didn't want to do this, but it was like a Band-Aid the sooner you pulled it off the better. Half of the problem is getting worked up over it.

I felt his hand slide into mine as he came up next to me, "No it doesn't."

We walked the rest of the way to the house slowly. This would be fucking hell. I started to chant, "can't kill Alice now" in my head. As long as I remembered that we should all be okay. I didn't feel the need to be anywhere near Edward one way or the other anymore so that wouldn't be a problem. And as long as Alice didn't work me up, I wouldn't say anything I didn't mean. Just because I understood Esme and Carlisle did not mean I would love them like parents. I wouldn't. Rosalie and Emmett were family and that was all I needed. I really didn't want the rest of the Cullens. Besides Jasper of course.

We reached the door a lot sooner than I had thought we would. He glanced at me seriously before walking through the door. I glanced over at the wall. Damn, I still owed Tanya that money.

I heard his voice before I could see him, as Jasper was standing in front of me, "Son, you look well." His voice sounded strained as if he thought the world would explode if he didn't say anything. Maybe he was right. From what Rose had told me about what Jasper went through at the hands of Alice and Edward he might be hoping to defuse anything that might happen.

"I am, Carlisle. Better than before." He tugged me forward as we made our way towards the open love seat across from Esme, Carlisle, and Alice. My red eyes scanned the room for Edward, but he was nowhere to be seen. Jasper was right. The tension in the room was fucking ridiculous. Rose was sitting in one of those fucking amazing red chairs glaring at Alice. Tanya was standing behind her looking fierce. Damn, little pixie was fucking lucky she hadn't been torn apart. I finally let my eyes fall on the other Cullens.

As soon as my eyes fell on them, Alice snapped her's to mine and had the fucking gall to smile. Smile like she fucking meant it, "You're beautiful, Bella. Just like I always knew you'd be." I had to suppress a growl and Jasper tightened his hand around mine.

"Be-Bella?" Esme's voice cracked as she looked back and forth between Alice and myself. She looked as if she would be sobbing if she was able.

I started to feel a little hysterical. I thought this would be easier than it was, "The one and only. We probably not the only but the one you're thinking of." I let the words fall of, a silence taking over. I started my don't kill Alice mantra again.

"How?" Esme truly sounded devastated as she looked upon me taking in every inch, finally settling on my eyes. I saw her's widen and I immediately tried to smother the guilt that wanted to rip its way through my skin.

I looked away. I just couldn't watch the disappointment I knew she would feel. "Does it really matter? What happened, happened. Now we just have to get through with what will happen." I focused on Demetri who looked genuinely sorry. His eyes had already taken on a deep saffron color. It almost hurt more to realize that I was the only one in the room with crimson eyes.

"Yes. We should discuss this Victoria." Demetri sounded authoritative as he tried to direct the conversation to the real problem. "I need to know the exact reason why she is after you."

Jasper's head snapped to mine and widened in shock. I thought for a moment. Shit. I had never told Demetri about everything that happened with the Cullens. Jane only knew a bit because of what happened in Forks a few years ago.

"You don't know?" Rosalie's voice broke through, a few octives higher than normal as she glanced between Demetri and me. "Shit, Dem. You've worked with Bella what three years? And you don't know." She shook her head in disbelief.

"Hey it never came up." The excuse sounded feeble. Even to my own ears.

"I'm not stupid Rosalie. I knew it had to do with all of you. I never pushed her into telling me about you." He looked at her harshly and she flinched back slightly at his tone. Demetri could be scary as fuck when he wanted to be.

"Back when Bella was still human, she was playing baseball with us and three vampires came along," Jasper was creating a fucking abridged version of the story. Really abridged. I stared on in shock as I listened to him stotically tell Demetri about what happened, "James, Victoria, and Laurent. They were a coven of human drinkers. James saw Bella and decided she would be his next meal. He tried to hunt her down and was almost successful but Emmett and I burned the fucker. I don't know why Victoria is after us. The bitch should just let it go."

Irena's soft voice broke through the silence that had settled on the room, "Laurent…once told me." Her voice cracked a little as she tried to finish, "Victoria was James' mate."

"Shit." Rosalie's voice rang out the thought that had run through all of our heads.

"There was something I didn't understand." Carmen's thick accent almost made it a little hard to distinguish what she was saying, "You said that you had business with Victoria, yes? Is the baseball game that business?"

I shook my head slightly. "No."

Demetri's eyes brightened with understanding, "Forks. When you sent Jane." I locked my eyes with his and nodded slightly. "What happened? She's still fucked up over whatever happened, but won't speak about it. Only you and Aro know."

My lips twisted up into a snarl, "The little bitch is going to deserve getting ripped apart, that's what happened." Jasper tightened his hold on my hand as he felt my anger spike. I would kill that bitch. I wanted to rip her apart and do horrific things to her body and it still wouldn't equate to what she had done. There was nothing that could be equivalent to the horror she cause.

His voice was calm as he tried to spread that calm to me, "But why does she deserve to be ripped apart. What happened?"

I took a deep breath. Jane had taken pictures and I remember looking at them. It was just by chance that this happened while she was there. I sent her to check on everyone for me. To give me a little peace before I let them all go. Instead the trip had brought back a disgusted Jane and an order for Victoria's death.

"Jane went to forks to check on everyone for me. I wanted to know they were all safe. I hadn't even thought about Victoria trying to come after me. It never would have even occurred to me. Charlie had moved down to La Push and in with Sue, his new wife. I guess they're all shape shifters down there, so he'll be safe. The last people I had Jane check on were Angela and Ben. I felt horrible for leaving them confused like that in New York."

Demetri nodded slightly, "The couple you were with."

I closed my eyes, "Yes. Victoria must have been watching me in Forks before I left. I guess she decided she would get me when I came back. Maybe she thought she was being kind allowing me one more vacation. Anyway, she wasn't happy when I didn't come back with the people I left with. She must have thought that attacking them would bring me out."

I stopped for a moment and Esme's voice shook, "Are-are they dead?" She was always so compassionate.

"Angela's alive. Ben wasn't so lucky. She had-" I had to stop for a moment to try and control myself. "She had taken them into the forest. I guess she tortured them for a few days and then decided she would make a statement. She left when she caught scent of Jane. Jane saved Angela. I'm sure of that. Angela was tied to the tree, beaten and hysterical. Jane said she was covered in blood. The thing was, it wasn't her own." Rosalie suddenly looked sick as she did the addition in her head, "Ben was – I guess attached is the best way to describe it – to the tree. Victoria had impaled him to it. Then she had ripped back his skin and let him bleed to death. The blood had dripped down from him and all over her. Jane said he was still suffering when she arrived, but there was nothing she could do."

Carlisle look physically ill when he spoke, "Jane didn't kill Angela?"

I shook my head, "No. She couldn't bring herself to and Angela was under the assumption that Victoria was just a crazy person doing some ritual killings. Jane encouraged her in that belief and brought her to the police station. She stayed for about a week after that to just keep an eye on Angela. She was grieving and horrified, but she's strong. She started to deal with it all. How I don't fucking know, but she's doing alright. Jane still keeps tabs on her. I guess she started classes at Seattle University in Theology." I missed her. I wished I could have stopped what happened to her and Ben. It was unfair and unforgivable.

Carlisle swallowed hard and nodded. He really looked like if he could be sick he would be. Esme was sobbing into Alice's arms and everyone else just looked on alarmed.

"So that is why we have a death on sight order on the bitch." Demetri's voice was hard. The Volturi had a strong sense of justice. Something like what Victoria did was more than unforgivable.

A thick silence overcame the room before Jasper cleared his throat, "Where is Edward? We'll need him if she comes at us with everything."

Esme started to sob harder and Carlisle cleared his throat, "He hasn't been with us for almost a year Jasper. I don't know where he is and I haven't been able to come in contact with him."

Jasper nodded with one curt movement.

I looked over at my beautiful mate. He was completely stoical and it was almost frightening. I could almost see the wheels in his head turning, "We don't need him. I can take care of this with Demetri."

His head snapped to me and his eyes were sharp and determined, "How many people can you handle like that?"

He was questioning my ability. I couldn't believe it. I snapped back at him, "I had no problem with that group that tried to kill you. I haven't had to deal with any bigger than that, but I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem."

He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily, "I'm not trying to be mean, sugar. But you don't know. And I don't doubt that if they were all standing in front of you waiting to be killed that you would do just fine, but that isn't the case. I think they'll come in waves. Can you stop several waves of newborns? Can you keep your focus through that?" I swallowed. I wasn't sure, but I had a sneaking suspicion that I probably couldn't. "It's better to be over prepared than under. I don't want anything to happen to anyone, least of all you. I'd rather not even have you there." I opened my mouth to protest, "Oh, I know you'll be there. I'm not even deluding myself. But that doesn't change the fact that I wish you weren't going to be there." I nodded. "We need a plan. We don't have time to call anyone else here, so we'll have to take care of this on our own." He kissed the back of my hand lightly before standing up, "Carlisle can I talk to you?"

Carlisle nodded and stood. They walked upstairs towards the library. Emmett and Demetri looked at each other before following.

I was staring at the stairs when her high pitched voice rang through the air. "Bella can we go talk?"

Rose looked up, alarmed. I watched the pixie for a moment before looking at Rose and nodding that it would be okay. She relaxed slightly but kept her eyes trained on me. I could talk to my ex-best friend as long as I didn't kill her. I just had to remember not to kill her. I stood and gestured as I walked to the door.

"Bella, I don't think-" Her voice was slightly panicked.

"Don't worry, Rose. Everything will be fine. We'll be back in a few minutes." I made my way quickly outside listening for the small footsteps following behind me. If we were going to talk it sure as hell wouldn't be in front of everyone.

I broke out into a run and I heard her footsteps pick up following me. I came to an abrupt stop at the portion of the forest that was Jasper and mine. Here was as good as any. Maybe I could remember what he asked of me if we talked here. I didn't turn to her. I couldn't look at her yet.

We stood there for several moments before she spoke, "I can't express how happy I am for Jasper. This was everything I thought it would be. I saw this. I knew how happy you would be." She giggled nervously and it infuriated me, "Don't ever bet against Alice."

I rounded on her. All I could see was red. "You need to stop this fucking crap that's falling out of your trap! You just had to follow your fucking visions. That's all there ever is to you, Alice. Your visions. You saw me so you bothered Edward until he decided to give me a chance. You never let anyone do anything on their own because you saw it. No one in your little shitty world has free will. The first chance you get you fucking screw everyone over! You saw everything that happened and didn't try to do a fucking thing! What good do your visions do if you don't try to help anyone when they really need it? Not one fucking thing, Alice. The only things you change or deal with are what clothes look good on people or how much money you can gain in the stock market. You don't do any real good! You're fucking disgusting!" My chest heaved as I tried to control myself. I couldn't rip her apart and scatter the pieces. I knew we needed her to defeat this fucking Victoria. Defeat her ass once and for all, get my retribution. Then I would go back to Aro and tell him that I was taking a leave…indefinitely. I couldn't leave Jasper. Not now. I wouldn't. And then…then I would tear her apart and scatter the pieces. Hell, I'd even let Rose and Tanya help. She could fuse her ass together on her own.

She had been staring at the forest floor, the light snow that fell last night crunching lightly under her rose colored Highkoo Uggs. She must have had them specially made. I knew they didn't naturally come in that color because one day Jane had gone on and on for fucking hours about the damn two hundred dollar boots and how she should be able to get whatever damn color she wanted, but no they came in like five different colors that she didn't want and wouldn't match anything she owned. I wouldn't be surprised if Alice got them because she was on first name basis with Doug Otto. Shopping always had been more important that anyone's happiness. God knows how many times I didn't want to go to the mall and she dragged me.

Her eyes snapped up at mine; they were the same topaz that I used to love to look into. They used to hold endless friendship and love, now they were pleading with me. Asking me for something I couldn't give her. Forgiveness. "Bella, you just have to trust me. It was for the best! Look how happy you are now."

I narrowed my eyes at her and she took an involuntary step back. I knew I looked menacing. I could feel my eyes darkening from a bright crimson into a deep burgundy as we spoke. She almost stumbled over her feet as her vampire grace seemed to fail her, "The best?! You know you once told me 'damn everything else' because you did everything for Jasper. You told me you would die for Jasper. But you know what you did for Jasper?! You broke his fucking heart! How could that be for the best Alice? How can that be doing anything for him? You practically ruined him! Then you have the damn gall to waltz back in here like nothing is wrong! Like you did nothing wrong!"

I was having a hard time controlling myself. I needed Jasper here with me, just standing in our spot wasn't helping. He was my center. Everything made sense with him here. When I let him in he straightened me out. But no I thought it was a fucking brilliant idea to waltz out here in the forest and have a little heart to heart with my fucking ex-best friend. Best I idea ever, Bella. Best idea. Rose was fucking right to try and stop me. At the rate I was fucking going I would have to endure a lecture from my handsome mate about ripping apart his ex-wife days before the fight for our lives instead of fucking waiting until after like he told me. I just didn't want someone else to rip her apart before I got a chance to…or at least put in my two cents about her fucking wretched behavior. Note to self; listen to vampires that have lived more than a fucking century. Sometimes they know what they're talking about. And note to Jasper, stand the fuck up to me and stop me from pulling this stupid crap. I'm sure he heard me leave with her. He was only upstairs. He could have just shouted down to me and I would have stopped. First thing I would do when we got back to the house would be to tell him how right he is about these things.

Her head snapped up and she looked livid, something I never thought possible of the little pixie. I was almost inclined to cower away from her. "I did do this for him! I did this for fucking Jasper! Everything I did. Everything you went through that I could have and probably should have stopped under different circumstances. But I couldn't because I did it all for Jasper. I knew from moment one that you were the one Bella. Jasper was yours from the moment you were born, no before that. I saw you before I met him. I brought him to you. I gave him love so that he could love you. So that he could be happy. Everything was for him, Bella! Every fucking thing has always been for him." She fell to her knees and crumpled into herself. Her hands came up to her face and sobs starting to rip through her, "Everything will always be for him. His happiness is more important that anyone else's. Mine, Carlisle's, Esme's, Edwards, but not yours. His happiness is more important to me, but yours is more important in general."

I couldn't move and it felt like all the venom in my body had left. She loved him more than I could imagine. More than she ever let on. Never more than me, but more than I ever thought. Her love was ripping through me, too. I was dry and stuck. My brain couldn't even function. All I could croak out was, "Why?"

Her small frame shook more as she let out a mournful laugh, "Because if you aren't happy he can never be happy. He put's your happiness above his. Your joy and love means more to him than anything. So your happiness is more important. He was never a fraction of what he is with you, with me. Not even a fraction of a fraction. He's bright and it's like his past never existed. And he'll only get better. You'll get better. Everything will be worth it, I promise. I saw this Bella. He means more to me than anything and I knew I could give him this happiness. I could give him you. And when I met you I knew you were perfect for him. I love you, Bella. I know it feels like I've betrayed you because I knew everything. I knew how much this would hurt you and it killed me, but I knew it would bring you here. This is where you need to be. This is where everyone needs to be for it to end. And Bella, I'm going to make sure all this fucking drama ends once and for all, today." She had lifted her eyes to mine and they were determined.

I felt like an empath. I could feel how hard it was for her to make it this far. To do this. How guilty she had been. How determined to get past this she is. How had she kept this from Edward? This little creature continued to amaze me, the same way she had done when I was still human. She still had the best intentions. Although I didn't agree with her playing God.

"Victoria's coming today? I thought we had a few more days. That's what Carlisle said on the phone last night. Did something change?" I glanced back towards the house; my anger with her would have to be put on hold. I could see that she really thought what she did was right, but it was far from that. I really just wanted to get back to Jasper. He must be worried sick by now. He had to be done talking with them by now. And Rose would be thinking the worst and fueling that. Hell, I did try to rip her apart when I first saw her. I'm sure she thought Alice was deserving of worse. Rose certainly was a protector. She was damn livid with Alice.

"Worse." Her small face was completely serious. She actually looked rather worried.

"Worse?"

"Victoria will be a breeze, but Edward will be here in a few hours." Her eyes went blank momentarily as she searched to see if her timeframe was still true. She nodded to herself lightly.

"Edward?" His name seemed foreign. I knew I had just used it not five minutes ago and we talked about him periodically, but frankly he didn't seem real to me. My human memories were foggy and his memory was just that. I remembered his words and how he made me feel so inferior, but I could barely remember him. I could remember the pain he left me with. How all of this was partly his fault, but the idea of him was just so abstract. And now he would be walking back into my life again. I could feel the anger boiling up again. I needed Jasper more than ever.

"Just go to him." She waved her small hand towards the house with a smile. I hesitated slightly, "This is over for now. I know there's more you want to say to me. Save it until after the fight. Just be with Jasper right now."

I nodded slightly, "Let's head back then. I know the family would like to be together before everything happens."

She scoffed, "Sure. I'm the first person Rose wants to be around. No. Right now you need to go back. I'll come back with Edward. I want to have a few words with him before he runs right into all of that." She gestured vaguely.

I turned and started at a light pace away from her. I wasn't more than 300 feet before I heard her say, "Beware of being alone in a room with Carlisle. He'll want to speak with you about your choice of diet!"

I couldn't help the light laugh that escaped from me. Why was it so fucking hard to stay mad at anyone from this family?

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: How as that? Give me feedback everyone. I'd love to reach 300 reviews with this chapter! Thanks for reading, please review!**

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	20. Happy

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Chibi-Kari: This will bring me to my second goal…50K words! The size of a novel! Thanks for keeping with me. This month is going to be a mess for me, but I'll try to update regularly. Things will get better after October I promise! I don't own…but I sure as hell wish I did. Then I wouldn't have to work full time and go to grad school full time just to try and make a better life for me one day in the future!

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 20 - Happy**

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**(Bella's POV)**

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I made it to the house in record time. I just wanted to be with Jasper. The weight that Alice had lifted off of me was noticeable. Yes, I was still pissed as hell at her and I would do something to fucking get her back, but she was still Alice. It was almost painful that the little creature I adored years ago was still the same.

Sure it was fucked up what she said she had done for Jasper…which I wasn't sure I absolutely believed. But fuck, it fit. This was Alice. Her definition was Jasper and then when Edward had found me it was Jasper and me. She had always cared for us in a different way than the rest. Everyone always thought Edward was her favorite person, but the way she wanted to be around us, influence us was different. Damn future seeing pixie was starting to piss the hell out of me again. If she could have fucking kept her nose where it needed to be, aka out of the future, then there wouldn't have been so much pain.

That idea immediately made me feel guilty. I loved Jasper more than life itself and here I was wishing that things were like my mundane little human life just because it was easy. Didn't Renee once tell me that if it was easy it wasn't worth it? That was true…Edward wasn't fucking worth the loss of Jasper.

I smiled to myself as I sensed everyone I loved in the living room again. I walked through the door and turned sharply, scanning the room for the one that meant most to me in this world. For my center. Jasper.

He was smiling slightly as he stepped forward opening his arms slightly, inviting me to him. And that was the only fucking place I ever wanted to be.

I was almost in his arms when Tanya's voice stopped me, "Did you fucking rip her apart without me Bells?"

Rosalie nodded her head in response and all I could do was laugh. Jasper raised his eyebrow and tilted his head to the side, "You know what I told you about ripping apart Alice. We need her visions. You didn't burn her at least, did you?"

I walked the final three steps into his arms. He wouldn't rebuke me for any choice I made. He was calm and accepting. He encouraged without making me feel horrible about myself. The man was fucking sly. Manipulating me in a way the thought I wouldn't notice. Too bad I was sharper than he thought.

I brought my hands up to the sides of his face as his arms locked around my waist pulling me closer in his strong embrace. We only had eyes for each other, "You know I'm all strategy. I didn't kill the evil pixie…didn't even harm her. You'd be proud. Gave her an earful, but you know how she is meddling." His eyebrows furrowed slightly and he placed a little more weight on my right hand, "I'll explain it later, promise. Right now I just want to spend some time with you. But before that. Don't ever let me fucking decide to do something you know I shouldn't. It was fucking hard not to kill her and all you had to do was shout down the stairs and I would have stopped."

His laugh echoed through the room, "You know I won't make decisions for you!"

I pouted slightly, "Well maybe you should sometimes."

His face morphed slightly as he leaned forward glancing around the room. His voice lowered, blowing cold hair into my ear as he whispered, "I can think of a few decisions I could make for you. We'd just have to make our way back to our little piece of heaven."

Jasper leaned back, his golden eyes twinkled and his blonde hair swayed with the quick movement. I smiled and nodded my head. Our piece of heaven was what he called our house. And it was. It was our place away from this hell hole and into something amazing. When it was just me and him everything else was gone. All problems.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" Carlisle's calm voice broke me out of my Jasper reviere.

I glanced over at my blonde savior waiting for his excuse. He stepped away slightly before sending a sly smile my way, "I'll meet you at our house, Bella." Then he fucking ran from me. Little chicken shit ran for his life.

I heard Rose laugh a little before I fucking glared her ass down. That shut her up. Oh Jasper better run. The little shit promised to keep Carlisle from harassing me if I played nice and followed his fucking rules. I groaned; I only slightly broke them. Come on I didn't fucking rip Alice apart. Stupid little smartass. He will fucking get an earful from me as soon as I get back to him. He better hide his shiny ass.

I tried to put on the best smile I could muster, "Yes, Carlisle."

He looked at me hard for a minute before smiling and gesturing towards the door, "Take a walk with me."

I glanced around the room one more time looking for a savior in the midst of these demons. No one would make fucking eye contact. Pussies. I sighed. This would come sooner or later. At least Alice had warned me, not very helpful in the end. But a heads up is always nice, "Sure, Carlisle."

Carlisle led me around the property in silence. It was actually comfortable. No matter how much I hated to admit it, he was like a dad. He had that aura, that guidance without judgment. But damn, I didn't like this whole waiting to be scolded by him. It made me feel like a little girl again. One whose father was going to play the "this is your life but" card.

He finally stopped, staring out into the woods. He stood still for a minute before bring his eyes to mine. They lingered a minute before he smiled slightly, "Are you happy, Bella?"

Yep he was playing that damn card, "Jasper makes me happy, Carlisle."

He nodded slightly, "Before that?"

This blindsided me a bit. I was expecting a whole we only wish the best for you coming next. "Enough."

He looked down, "I'm sorry."

I furrowed my brows in confusion, "What?"

He sighed before setting his gaze back on the thick expanse of trees in front of us, "You know I love the forest. Everything intertwines and relies on each other. It's like a family. No one is ever alone or abandoned. Sturdy. Unmoving. That's how I always viewed my vampire family. Unmoving, protecting, coexistent. We should have never left you." He scoffed slightly, "Little good we did you." He closed his eyes slightly, "Demetri told me how you were turned…what happened. I'm proud of you, Bella."

I didn't know what to say. This was different than what I expected. Everyone else had waltzed back in glossing over their blame, except Rose. But she was quick to get over it. Carlisle really blame himself for something that was absolutely out of his control. "You didn't do anything, Carlisle."

"That's the problem." His voice boomed slightly and I flinched back. There was so much self loathing in that one statement. I vaguely registered that the animals had all moved farther back in the forest at the sound of his voice, "I shouldn't have left you alone like that. We could have kept an eye on you. That would have been the only responsible thing to do. God, the Volturi came after you and it easily could have been to kill you instead of changing you. Humans aren't supposed to know." His golden eyes snapped to mine and he was distraught, panicked, "You could be dead right now, Bella. All I wanted was you to be safe. Have a long life. You may not believe me. We left you, but I only wanted you to have it all. I felt like you were part of the family. But I didn't act like a father. I didn't think to protect you. I should have protected you."

Damn Alice and Jasper. This wasn't about my choice yet. Fucking let me be blindsided. Asses. "It's fine, Carlisle. Really I don't blame you."

He shook his head slightly, "You should. I'm the head of this family."

I clutched his hand, twining my fingers with his, "And you respected your son. There is nothing wrong with that. You are a wonderful father. Any girl would be proud to have you as one."

He nodded slightly, tightening my hold on his hand briefly before tucking my arm in his. I smiled slightly. Sometimes he showed his age. This was such an old fashioned thing to do and I loved it. I cursed myself for loving him like a father all over again. These damn vampires.

The silence continued for several minutes before he opened his mouth again, "You know your choices are your own, but you don't only hurt yourself with your habits."

My jaw dropped open. God damn it all! The man waited until I was comfortable before pulling his damn card on me. I looked over at his face. He was barely concealing a smile. That was infuriating, "How is it harming anyone else? Well besides the people that help to sustain me."

He closed his eyes momentarily, the amused expression missing from his face, "You know why Jasper embraced the change. Their feelings are hard on him. That fear eats away at him. He'll never say anything, but it bothers him. Eats away at who he is because he can feel that, Bella. Granted you are killing the scum of society and doing some type of social justice, but is it really your place to judge them? I was raised to believe that God really was the only one to judge."

I steeled my voice. I knew it hurt Jasper. I wasn't blind. "It's my choice. Jasper understands that."

"And I'm not telling you to change that."

"No, you're just trying to guilt me into it!" My voice had risen. I knew I was defensive.

"I'm telling you the facts. If you feel guilty that is all your own. I won't be less happy with you if you chose to never change your habit. I love you, Bella. We all do."

"Well then you won't be disappointed if I tell you I won't be changing."

"I won't. I just want you to be happy. Are you happy?" He had moved to stand in front of me and held my hands in his. His stare looking directly into my soul. He already knew the truth.

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to scream it in his face so he would understand, but it was there. The part of me that recognized I had long ago stopped drinking humans because they tasted good. I had started doing it in spite.

"Go to Jasper. We should spend time with those we love as often as we can. Although, I'm sure Esme would like to sob on you for an hour or so. So please come back soon." He tried to make it sound like a joke, but we both knew she would. God, I had barely acknowledged her. That must be killing her.

I nodded slightly taking off towards Jasper. I would think about this later. Someone needed to get his ass handed to him for doing that to me…or at least think he was getting his ass handed to him.

I tore through the forest. I poured my power out from my body and opened the door before running straight into the small house. Jasper stood with his eyes wide open. Sure he hadn't seen me do that before, but really. He'd seen me take the fingers off a vampire one at a time. Opening a door with my power was easy. He should have added that together.

I stopped inches from him as he looked on in amazement. I reached back with my power shutting the door. His statuesque form gave me an idea. I quickly slammed him against the wall and closed off my emotions to him, growling slightly.

His eyes widened, "Oh, sugar, it wasn't so bad was it? He needed to be forgiven by you. I told him not to pressure you about his ideals."

I stepped closer, my body now flush with his. I couldn't look him in the eyes without losing hold of fake anger.

"Really. I told him not to bother you! It's not my fault. Don't be a fucking bitch about it." He was starting to panic. He really hadn't meant harm; he never did. But he deserved a few minutes of thinking I was pissed off at him and hell I was now. Carlisle had put me through an emotional ringer and Jasper was supposed to protect me from that. Fucking ass. Then he goes and calls me a bitch. Granted, he didn't know I as playing before.

"Not your fault? Bitch?" My voice was threatening.

His demeanor changed when I said that. His body relaxed slightly. I was confused to say the least. My guard was still up and I really was pissed. He was about to get his fucking ass handed to him.

He gripped my arms, catching me completely off guard, before slamming me into the wall like he had. I felt the plaster crack and crumble more than heard it. Before I could comprehend what was really going on his lips were on mine. It was rough and primal, not the normal love that we shared. This was something different deeper and fuck it felt good.

Jasper's grasp was firm as he slammed his pelvis into mine cracking the wall even more. Emmett would just have to come over and replaster the wall.

I moaned as his hand ran down my body, gripping my hair and pulling my head harshly to the side. It stung a little as he started to attack my neck. Fuck even the stinging in my roots lit my body on fire. Jasper was consuming me alive and I couldn't be fucking happier.

His right hand roughly pulled me closer as he ripped apart my jeans and underwear before lifting my legs straight off the ground, pressing my hot core to the bulge in his jeans. He ground into me roughly as he continued to overload my senses with his rough movements.

I brought my hands to the back of his shirt ripping it clean from his granite body and scrapping my nails into his back. I felt the venom pool around my fingers. He growled into my ear as he brought the hand that was holding on my hair down, ripping my shirt and bra from the back before discarding it in pieces on the floor. His hands were rough as he started push and pull on my clit, almost twisting it painfully.

I reached down and tore his damn jeans and boxers of. He quickly kicked them away from us as he hoisted me higher in the air and slammed into me in one quick hard movement.

He grunted as he held my hips still and slammed into me at an impossible speed. He was driving me crazy and the wall started to shake. An errant thought flew through my mind praying this wasn't the center wall holding up the roof.

I felt myself start to shudder as the start of an orgasm ripped through me, but he continued on faster and faster. I exploded, my legs desperately trying to hold him inside me and keep me upright. He held me against him as he pushed in one last time before pulling me closer shaking himself.

We leaned against the wall his head just centimeters from the side of my head, holding on to each other tightly, and him securely still inside me. I tried to control my unnecessary breathing. He brought his head back slightly, smiling. I returned the satisfied smile.

"I know you weren't really mad at me." He voice was soft and amusement reflected in his eyes, "So I had to rile you up. Damn fucking is fucking fantastic."

I laughed, "It is." I slung my head back onto the battered wall.

With a shudder the wall caved behind me. I saw Jasper's eyes widen as we went right down with it. I couldn't help laughing harder after a moment of laying on the floor plaster around us, stunned.

"Oh my God! We fucking destroyed a wall!"

Jasper joined my laughter, "We should clean it up."

I shook my head lightly, "Emmett will take care of it." I rolled him on his back. It was my turn to take control.

He looked up at me before smiling, "He'll be damn proud his little sister destroyed something during sex."

"He sure as fuck will." I was happy with Jasper.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Sorry there was such a wait. Grad School = my ass being kicked. I don't know why this semester is so evil. Thanks for reading and please review! Feedback makes me super happy!**

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	21. Perfect

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Chibi-Kari: Sorry this is a little short guys. It's more of a transition chapter to get to the final arch. Things are going to be moving very fast from now on. I hope you enjoy this little chapter! No lemons…sorry, but you get Jasper's POV. Hopefully that counts for something. I don't own and thank you everyone for being so understanding!

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Let Go

**Chapter 21 - Perfect**

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**(Jasper's POV)**

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I was stuck between horror and fucking primal satisfaction that the whole two hours after breaking the wall I hadn't gotten Bella on the bed. My beautiful girlfriend deserved more than rolling on the ground in plaster…although it was fucking hot. Bella and plaster…God I didn't think there could be anything erotic about that, but fuck; now I want to have her do home repairs just to see the plaster in her hair. Damn it. We should just fix the wall ourselves. Screw Emmett and his whole, 'I get to fix the first thing you break!' He only wants to see how much damage we do compared to Rose and him.

I sighed as I watched my beautiful mate throw on a navy blue sailor cut dress. The damn thing hugged every curve and plunged so far done I started to wonder if I stood up if I could see anything.

"See something you like?" Her voice teased and I finally brought my wandering eyes home to her face.

"Fuck yeah. Every time I look at you. But sugar, in that dress I almost don't want to let you out of the house. And if I fucking could I wouldn't." I sat there for a moment. I could seduce her into staying in bed with me until the fight. That was fucking alright with me.

She sauntered over, swaying her hips as she walked, giving me a little extra show, "I think that could be arranged."

I smiled widely. When she came within reach, I grasped her hips roughly and pulled her into my lap. Bella squealed and giggled and I was fucking ecstatic. Just a few weeks ago she wouldn't have done this. In just a few weeks I had allowed her to move past that hurt, navigate around it. It was still fucking there, but I would attack that shit for years until I could heal it. One day, all she would have inside her was love. I'd see to that.

Her eyes locked with mine and I could feel her love pouring into me, so much like my love poured into her that first night in the forest. God, this woman meant everything to me. Every fucking thing and I wouldn't let anyone or anything take her from me. Victoria better fucking run and hide because I was out for her head. All of us Cullens were.

That thought snapped me back. Esme. Bella still hadn't gotten any time with her and I'm sure my surrogate mother was about to die or break through the door by now. She was fucking distraught when Edward announced we were leaving.

"As much as I never want to leave the room, sugar, you have someone waiting for you." She cocked her eyebrow at me, "Your mother is down at the main house waiting on pins and needles for you. I'm actually surprised she hasn't burst through the door yet. I'm sure she has Carlisle's hide for sending you out to me instead of bringing you right back to her. Poor fucker should know better."

She giggled slightly. I don't think she realized how true that was. Esme was a bit of a 'my way or the highway' person when she wanted to be. And when it came to us she wanted to be. I remember her almost ripping her poor sobbing husband apart after he came back from an impromptu hunting trip with Emmett. She had just been so sure that something had happened and someone was dead and she didn't know. Plus Emmett was supposed to help her install the new chandelier. Carlisle really didn't stand a chance.

"Seriously, Bells. He could be dead by now." I tried to put on a grave façade.

She smiled brightly, "He deserves every second of her wrath for what he pulled with me, but I guess I shouldn't torture Esme should I?" She cocked her head to the side. Even her eyes were smiling back at me and it was in that moment that I knew after all this shit that I wouldn't let her frown again. There wasn't going to be a fucking thing wrong with her life if I got a say in anything.

I stood up with her pulling her into a chaste kiss before clasping her hand in mine and heading toward the door. I was in fucking love and nothing could bring me down. Everything was fucking perfect.

We walked slowly in silence towards Tanya's house just reveling in each other's presence. Moments like these wouldn't come often in the next few days. The fight was coming on us quickly and we had to prepare.

We were about 100 feet from the house when I stiffened and stopped. My entire body locked down and I could barely form a coherent thought.

Bella looked up at me in wonderment. "What?"

I didn't answer her question. My brain couldn't be bothered with her simple question. It was focused completely on my surroundings. I knew this fucking scent. This wasn't supposed to happen. This scent was not supposed to be here, but obviously that meant nothing. Disappear and then fucking show up with no warning. Fucking just like Edward.

Bella ghosted in front of me bringing her hands to my face and pulling it down to look at her's. Suddenly I wished I really hadn't let her walk out of the house in when she was wearing. It was too late to go back. Everyone in that house knew we were here already and we couldn't do a fucking thing about it. "Edward." I practically spit his name out.

Bella tipped her head slightly, "Oh yeah. Alice told me she was going to meet him and then bring him back here." She shrugged slightly before locking her eyes with mine again.

My mind went blank. I was fucking blank. She had known he was going to be here and didn't tell me. She didn't seem to care at all that he was here. I didn't know if I was relieved that her tone when talking about him was as if she commented on a new dining room chair or if I was pissed that she had known and not told me. She fucking hadn't told me!

"What the fuck?" The words came out slowly as my mind spun, trying to grasp the situation. Those three words were the first thing I could think of.

She just fucking shrugged again, "Sorry. I meant to tell you." I watched as a shit eating grin came on her face, "You just distracted me. What can I say?"

I couldn't help but feel my anger melt away to be replaced with pride. Damn right she was fucking distracted. I got her so good she couldn't remember her fucking name.

The smile fell from my face as Rosalie appeared next to us. She looked worn and upset, "Come inside guys. Let's just get this family reunion over with."

I needed to know what type of situation I was bringing Bella into. I couldn't go in there without knowing that. "Does he know?"

Rosalie measured her words for a moment before nodding, "Alice told him. He knows Bella is a vampire and the two of you are together. And he's up to speed with the fight."

I internally sighed. He knew. That was good. One less thing to think about, "How's he dealing with everything?" Edward was a good guy. He didn't overstep boundaries. What was mine was mine. He should take that in stride. He was always more of a suffer in silence type rather than a fight now questions later. I did feel marginally bad for him. Seeing what he gave up would probably kill him. But that didn't mean I wanted him anywhere near her.

Rosalie shut her golden eyes and leaned back slightly on her heals, "He's not being very…accepting."

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks for reading and please drop me a little review! I'll see you guys soon…I hope you're excited about the next chapter as much as I am!**

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	22. The Red

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Chibi-Kari: Welcome back to another chapter! I still can't believe how many reviews I've gotten. I'm hoping to now pass 400 before the end of the story…I really don't think that'll be a problem at all. So maybe I should set my goal a little higher for 500. There are still quite a few chapters left. I don't own, but you guys make me feel like a success!

**Many of you might not like the way this chapter starts…but there is reasoning for that. You have to remember the biggest part of Bella has always been forgiveness and she views Edward as giving her Jasper.**

**So there are three pop culture references in this story! I tell you one right away…anyone that can get the other two gets kisses from Jasper! Sorry for another short chapter!**

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 22 – The Red**

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**(Bella's POV)**

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We walked the final steps to the house. Jasper was gripping my hand almost painfully. I knew no matter what I said he was worried. Worried about me leaving him? Worried Edward would do something? I'm not sure. All I knew is he really didn't have to worry about me leaving him for Edward. The boy that I had once would have died for was the farthest from my mind. We weren't the same. He was all roses and romance. I on the other hand was deeper….I think I had always felt this slightly. I knew love was more than presents and grandiose declarations. Love was in those moments of just being together. Jasper and I had that. We had a love that didn't need words. All it needed was each other. I would do anything for him, yet he would never ask me to. And the same held true for me. It was a give take situation on both our parts.

Edward's love, or what I could remember of it, was childish. Everything was on his part. He made the decisions on what to do, where to go. It wasn't give and take. He took over my life and I gave it to him. Then he took everything away from me. I couldn't even remember him anymore, just how his actions had led me to this. I could remember New York and how nothing of what happened had mattered anymore. I think that's where my opinion on him changed. All those years, that felt like lifetimes, ago I had become someone else. Someone I actually wanted to be.

I squeeze Jasper's hand lightly and closed my eyes. I tried to remember what Edward had looked like and not just the pain he had caused me. I could vaguely put together a bronze mass on a muscular young man, but that was it. It didn't bring up anything other than a vague picture. I could remember the rest of the family without issue, but Edward was so detached. He was an ideal of my youth and a burden of adulthood.

I would never want him. I wanted Jasper. He supports me and encourages me. Edward was a constant strain of "protection." There was no way I would ever want him. He meant nothing to me anymore. Nothing but a past of pain that gave me a future of love. I would say I'm grateful to him, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't fucking go over well with Jasper.

The love of my life looked over at him. His golden eyes strained as he tried to force a smile.

"I love you." It was the only thing I could think of saying to him. His face softened slightly as he nodded.

"I know." I couldn't help but laugh. I suddenly remembered watching all the Star Wars movies with Felix just a last year. He said that was his favorite line in the movie. I had told him that it didn't make Harrison Ford sound like a hero…it made him sound like a fucking jerk. When Jasper said it he didn't sound like a jerk. Maybe I need to rewatch those movies.

He chucked in response and pulled me towards him, tucking me into his shoulder. Rose glanced back at us as she stepped over the threshold. Jasper paused for a moment before pressing on into the house.

I glanced around the room. There next to Esme was Edward. It almost astounded me how boyish he looked compared to everyone else here. He was still attractive, but no different than any other vampire I had met. I felt nothing for him. I couldn't even bring myself to be angry.

He remained stoic, just staring at me as Jasper and I took a seat across from him. He was seated firmly between Alice and Esme, both women had a hold of his hands. He looked completely blank as he continued to stare at me.

"Hello, Edward." My soft voice broke the silence. I could see the difference immediately. His eyes sharpened and focused as he finally took me in.

"Bella." The word escaped his mouth like a silent prayer. It was slightly unnerving and Jasper growled in response.

Edward's eyes swung to meet Jasper's and he took in our intimate position. He locked his jaw momentarily before bringing his eyes back to mine, "Alice has told me you are…together."

I nodded turning to smile brightly at Jasper. Rose was exaggerating when she said he hadn't been taking this news well. He seemed fine to me. Jasper's beautiful golden eyes stayed focused on Edward as they narrowed slightly.

Edward nodded slightly to himself before he fucking proved me wrong, "This…mood…of yours is temporary."

I could feel my eyes widen as I tried to take in what he said. He thought my feels for Jasper were a fucking mood that was going to fucking change?! It was insulting and hurtful. What did he think I would fucking jump back into his arms when I realized he came back for me?! "What…the…fuck?" I echoed Jasper's earlier words as I tried to wrap my head around what was happening. This wasn't anything like what I had expected.

"Vampire suites you well, love. Although, you will look even more beautiful when your change of diet takes effect." I think a part of my mind fucking died. I could feel it rot off at his statement.

"Well considering I won't be changing my fucking diet I guess I'll only stay this fucking beautiful."

He nodded slightly too himself, "I see. You're language seems to have taken a turn for the worse as well. All things that will go away I'm sure."

That was when my mind completely shut off. He was fucking delusional. I looked over at my mate confused as hell. He looked as fucking blindsided as I felt. I knew what he had been expecting. He had thought there was going to be anger or violence. This was just a refusal to accept what was fucking sitting in front of him. Everyone looked on in shock except the damn fortune telling pixie.

Her eyes met mine and she shook her head briefly. That motion spoke volumes about what was going on and what fucking would. This was a fucking disaster. He couldn't seem to understand that I didn't fucking love him anymore. Fuck, I might not have ever loved him…not really.

I was about to open my mouth and tell him to fuck off when Jasper beat me to it, "Edward, I know this is hard for you to understand, but Bella is my mate. This isn't…temporary…as you said. This is something real." He looked at me and smiled. Jasper really did love his brother. He'd fucking have to to put up with his shit like this.

I smiled back before Edward brought our attention back to him with laughter. It unnerved me. There was almost a hysterical edge to it which was truly disconcerting, "Really, Jasper? You? _You? _You can't seriously believe that. Why would she love you? You've killed thousands and you can't control yourself. You almost killed her. I mean **you**-" He couldn't even bring himself to end his sentence as he continued to laugh. The entire family stared on in dumbfounded shock.

All I could see is red.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Welcome home, Edward! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter…there won't be another one for the rest of this month as next week is really busy for me. Thanks for reading and please drop me a little review!**

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	23. Love

**Chibi-Kari: Sorry for the delay guys. This semester has kicked my ass officially! Thank God I'll be done by tomorrow night (exams are today and tomorrow) so don't expect anything in the next few days as I'm sure my brain will be fried by tomorrow! Obviously I don't own.**

**Oh I have debuted my next fic, just in case some of you haven't found it! I'm just making some final touches on the second chapter then I'll put it up! Everyone check it out! I've gotten great responses so far. It's called Broken Lights on the Freeway!**

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 23 – Love**

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**(Bella's POV)**

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It was one of those moments when your mind takes an extended vacation and you are left with pure emotions. Or maybe my mind wasn't on vacation at all…maybe it really had rotted while I was listening to him. All I know is that I could no longer control myself. My mind had switched of nice Bella and everyone was left with ass kicking mother fucking bitch Bella. And right now all she wanted was Edward's head on a fucking poll. Yeah she was going to go all Vlad the Impaler on his ass.

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**(Jasper's POV)**

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I felt my eyes widen as I watched her fly across the fucking room. Maybe her power kept her from touching the ground too because I swear to God she didn't touch the ground until the couch flipped back dumping Alice and Esme ungracefully on the floor. Bella had rolled with Edward and currently had him pinned to the wall. I watched has his form indented the pale red wall behind him. Tanya was going to shit a brick when she snapped out of her stupor. She had to beg Eleazar for two months to get him to paint the living room that color red. She said it matched their chairs. I think she secretly bribed Carmen to agree with her. That shit most definitely did not go well with the chairs.

Alice was the first to move. She sat up slowly and glanced up at the two of them, her eyes wide and panicked. She looked over at Esme, who was watching the scene from the floor, "I didn't know. I didn't see. I can't see."

I watched as Bella slowly lowed her lips centimeters below her hand. Jealousy racked through my body even though I knew she wasn't going to kiss him. I'd seen this hundreds of time in the past. For some reason female vampires take a more seductive approach to separation than males. We yank, tear, and slide our teeth through making sure to look ferocious constantly. Women always made it seem intimate. I had always secretly hoped when I was fighting in Maria's army that a female would kill me. Watching Bella do it gave me an entire new appreciation for the beheading process.

Carlisle looked over me and I felt his panic. He was begging me to stop her, but I wasn't about to go over there. Why? First of all we could put him back together he wasn't Humpty Dumpty or anything. Second I wasn't going to be getting anywhere near her teeth. And fuck it, it felt good to have someone stand up for me for once. Granted ripping Edward apart wasn't exactly what I would want, but it just showed how much Bella cared.

I watched for in a kind of awe as she slicked through his neck, his head falling to the ground with a sickening thump. Rosalie was there before she got to his arm. She quickly grabbed my mate and pulled her back against her body. An arm slung over her eyes and another wrapped tightly around her mid section. It was a restraint tactic I had taught Rose just a few days ago. You could take away one of their senses and make it difficult for the vampire to rip at you. This was supposed to something you used quickly to gain an advantage because vampires were fucking smart. After a few moments their arms would go for your head. If they could reach that is. Bella and Rose were around the same height so I was slightly worried as Rose didn't let go. It was one thing to let my mate go ape on Edward a whole different thing to have her try to kill her sister. But Bella stopped resisting after a moment and Rose kept her backwards pace straight out the door.

We all stood there for a moment just looking on Edward's flailing body as it slumped to the ground reaching blindly for his head. This reminded me of a scene in a movie or television show. It was almost cliché. I had the urge to kick his fucking head away from him as he obviously hadn't been using it, but I decided to squash that feeling down. The family would excuse what Bella did, but I'm pretty sure I would get an earful if I just went over there to kick his head in fucking spite. It was juvenile anyway and I wasn't fucking juvenile…often.

I glanced back to the door Rose had dragged Bella through and then back to the room. They were all still standing there like dumb fucks, "Is someone going to help him get his head back on straight? And I do mean in both ways." I know it was harsh, but they could have been taking care of this better. Bella and I shouldn't have fucking walked right into Edward's brand of delusion. There were no angels singing and Bella wasn't going to fucking fall into his side. It was sickening and I couldn't even look at him. Well actually I could look at him squirming on the floor looking for his head all fucking day.

I turned and made my way outside. Bella was folded into herself and Rose was squatted in front of her, holding her hands and whispering to her.

"I'll take it from here." Yeah I sounded like a fucking jackass, but seriously I just wanted to get my mate home and never let her out.

"How about you fucking walk back inside and help Edward for once." Rosalie spat back at me. She was furious. Somehow in this situation I had turned into the bad guy.

"What the fuck, Rose?!" I was blindsided.

"She just fucking took off her first love's head, not that he didn't deserve it. We all know he did. She needs her sister right now, not fucking you!"

"What do you mean she doesn't need me?! She's together with me!" I was furious and about ready to snatch Bella and go back to our little space. Leave all this shit behind until we could behead Victoria.

Rose stood up and started to walk towards me. This was my chance. I was about to dart forward when I realized I could no longer move. My eyes snapped to Bella. She was looking up at me pleading. Asking for time with Rosalie. Time away from me. I tried to understand. She knew I would give it to her without a fight, but this fucking hurt. She hadn't done anything wrong. She shouldn't have feelings like this. She said she didn't even fucking remember Edward and yet Rose said she needed some fucking time because she took the head off her first love. I vaguely felt betrayed. I would never fucking say anything to her about it, but it was still there.

Rose looked back at Bella a moment understanding the situation. She leaned forward to me, "First love is an ideal Jasper. She doesn't love Edward. I know what she is going through. Remember Royce was mine and no matter what he did to me, put me through, I had to come to terms with what I did to him. It's not about love really. Fuck, I can't explain it Jasper. Just trust me. We'll be back and she loves you."

She turned quickly, her golden hair coming within inches of my face. She made it to Bella in two steps and they were off, leaving me to stare into the forest they disappeared into.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks for reading, please leave me a little note, and don't forget to stop by Broken Lights!**


	24. Games

**Chibi-Kari: Sorry for the delay. I quit my job and moved to another country…seriously. But updating will be better as now I'll only be working 20 hours a week instead of 40 (plus any phone calls people made to me after hours). I hope everyone enjoys this chapter…the series really is coming to an end. I don't own anything except the plot! Broken Lights is now on Chapter 5 and I have to say that everyone has given me such wonderful responses. I'm sure all of you know it's there…but if you somehow missed it, check out my new story!**

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 24 – Games**

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(Jasper's POV)

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All that was left for me was to go back inside. I couldn't go home, not like this. I couldn't help the irrational thought that sprung into my mind and made me want to fucking rip his head off as soon as it fused back on. But I couldn't blame Edward when he wasn't in his right mind. I fucking wanted to, but I couldn't. I sighed heavily and sent one more fleeting look to the forest that Bella had left me through. She'd be back. She loved me, but right this fucking second I could only feel hurt. Alice fucking ripped me apart and then Bella needs space.

I made my way back into the living room to find Carlisle next to Edward on the floor and Esme sobbing softly on the couch that Bella and I had abandoned. Emmett was trying his best to comfort her, but for once he was failing.

Edward's eyes met mine and I saw in an instant that he was back. "Jasper."

I held up my hand. I needed to tell him exactly what I fucking thought of him before he went all remorseful and emo on me. "You are my fucking brother, Edward. I know you weren't in your right mind or whatever the fuck you feel like calling those moments that you turned your brain off, but you have been my brother for years. Years, Edward. And then you fucking spout shit about my control. About my worth. You fucking cut me down. I can forgive you for a lot. I can forgive you for hurting Bella like you did because you brought her to me. And yes I know how fucking selfish that sounds, but then you fucking go and make it seem like I'm a piece of shit. This holier than thou crap needs to stop now. It either stops fucking now or you walk right out that door as soon as your head rights itself. You can't expect to leave someone and have them open their arms back to you and do exactly what you want. No one wants to do what you fucking want. We all made plenty of sacrifices of what we wanted for you! What happened can't happen again. We all want you as family, but we aren't willing to play this game anymore. This isn't just about what you just did. You've been doing this for years, Edward. Fucking years and it is over as of now. I had to give up my family because you were pissed. Rosalie's had to give up plenty of things for you. And Bella wasn't given a choice in her future because of you. You play Lord over all of us and this ends." I spun quickly on Alice, "And you need to stop your games too! I know what you fucking did for Bella and I and I thank you, but fucking stop. It is really sweet that you meddle, but I'm not so sure half of what you said would come to be because of what you say and do or if it really is what is supposed to happen. Be honest Alice and stop trying to fucking do everything by yourself."

She averted her eyes. "I know. I'm sorry, but I would do it again to see you happy. But I will be more honest from now on. Just…I'm sorry."

I sighed. I really hadn't meant to make her feel bad, "I know, Alice. I'm sorry, too. I do love you still. You'll always be a big part of who I am. You've made me a good person, Alice. That will always be who you are." She nodded and I knew we would be friends again.

It was silent only for a few seconds before Edward's voice cut through, "I'm an ass."

Under normal circumstances I would have burst out laughing if he said any word coming close to the word ass, but I was still pissed.

"Really, Jasper. I was so far out of line with everything. How I treated Bella. But especially with how I treated you. Before you left and now. The things I said were disgusting and wrong. You are an admirable person. I hope you know that I think how you changed your life is one of the most amazing things I've seen or heard. You deserve to be happy and Bella…Bella deserves happiness, too. I'm not going to lie; I wish you hadn't found that happiness in each other. But the fact is you did and I can't change that. She is with you and no one can be blamed except me. I just was so focused on me that I couldn't see what was sitting in front of me and now I think I do that more often than I don't. I just…I feel like I already know how everyone thinks of something that I can make the decisions for them."

"Thinking something and really feeling that way are two very different things, Edward."

"I know. I know." Silence fell across the room and for once it wasn't tense and angry.

"Edward, you're fixing my fucking wall." Tanya's voice rang out and everyone laughed.

I felt happy for a moment. It felt great to finally tell Edward what I felt about him. For years he had been the one running the family and everyone knew it wasn't right. I could see that he saw it now. All it took was someone handing his head back to him. The bigger question is if he can really change it.

A gasp startled me from my thoughts. Alice's eyes were glazed over as she let her vision overcome her.

Edward grunted softly before his eyes met mine, "Tomorrow."

I knew exactly what he meant when he said that. Victoria had just decided that tomorrow was the right time to show up. This wouldn't be a problem if everything had gone as planned. But no. Edward's fucking head was still fusing and would take at least a few more hours and would be tender for days, an obvious weakness. And I had no fucking clue when Bella and Rosalie were coming back. We've just become fucking sitting ducks.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks for reading, please review, and please check out Broken Lights!**


	25. All or Nothing

**Chibi-Kari: The beginning of the end! There is only a chapter or so left. I believe only one, but things can change as all of you know. Sorry for the long wait. I've been really stressed out. Well I don't own.

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 25- All or Nothing

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**(Jasper's POV)**

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"How many, Alice?" My voice finally broke through the tense silence that had befallen the entire room.

The small woman shifted slightly, "You don't want to know, Jasper."

"What did you see?" I could feel how my voice was harsh and rough. This type of tone always made Alice uncomfortable. I just wanted this over. Victoria was going to get her fucking head pulled off for being such a bitch. It was like she couldn't just screw up someone's life…no she had to fucking do it at the worst possible time.

"I can't see how it ends. I swear to God Jasper, but it's not good. There are too many. There are too many newborns and too many decisions that need to be made." She shook her head and rubbed at her face. She hated not knowing. I knew this I had been married to her for years.

"Alice I don't want to hear about what you don't know. I can't do anything about what you don't know. I want to fucking know what you do know. How many?!" I had to sit down and let the soldier in me take over. I couldn't under analyze the situation and I was slowly losing control. I had to grasp it completely so that this would finally fucking end. So I could end it all for Bella. For everything I promised her. For my family. All the shit had to end. Edward. Alice. Rose. The rest of the family had all resolved their issues more or less, but this was the last thing and maybe even the catalyst for it all. I never was a man that thought of God or fate. I just wouldn't ever bet against Alice, but now I almost thought there was something. There was some reason or fucking deity or something that was forcing all of this on us. Pissed the hell out of me. I just wanted fucking answers.

"Two hundred. I don't know how. She just makes them and then tears them off the people they try to feed off of, making more. They just kill each other off as fast as she makes them. It's. It's disgusting, Jasper. What she's doing to them." She paused and looked me in the eyes, "Even Maria wouldn't do this."

I felt a chill tear down my spine. Alice wouldn't say that as a joke. She knew it wasn't remotely funny, but when Bella had told me the story of what happened to Ben I could see it. Maria wouldn't have done that. She was power hungry and cruel, but she wasn't evil. What we were seeing was the face of evil.

"She's judged." Demetri's voice was calm and deadly. The Volturi didn't like messes and they didn't like their species' name being tarnished. Vampires were supposed to be civilized…at least all but the Romanians in their eyes. Jane had been disturbed by what she saw and that had been the start of their hunt. Victoria's warrant was signed a long time ago, but today there was no talking out of it. She could plead with Aro himself and get nowhere. But that still didn't help the situation as I saw it. Her fucking death warrant was signed but I couldn't see a way to take on two hundred without Bella and Rose. Hell, I fucking found it hard to think that we could take them all on with Bella and Rose. That was more fucking vampires than I had ever seen in a fight and I was vaguely intrigued by the idea of seeing them all. How they would fight. Fight together. Would they turn on each other?

I could probably guarantee that at least seventy-five would kill each other. That was just way too many in one area at one time. And at the rate Victoria was changing them she couldn't be training them. I was finally seeing pieces of light in this horrifying puzzle. The fucking bitch was careless. But she was good. I'd give her that. She was fucking good, but no matter how slippery she is I will be getting my fucking teeth into her neck and taking it off.

We were losing time. I could feel it slipping away. We were less than ten hours from their arrival and I needed to get Bella and Rose back. This wasn't a time for a breakdown. This was a time for beating the hell out of Victoria.

"Emmett, call Rose's cell. We need them back no matter what. If we want to survive we have to get them back here. There just aren't enough of us otherwise. Ten plus me and an injured Edward is nowhere near enough for two hundred, but with Bella we'll have more than a fighting chance. We'll have easy victory." I couldn't call Bella. She left her phone in my pocket. She hated carrying it complaining that she was always snapping the flip top off of it if she wasn't careful.

Emmett nodded as he pulled out his phone and I was relived that he wasn't worried about interrupting them. But this was Emmett he always was a do first think later type of guy. I just hoped to God Rose would answer.

"Jasper, I'm not that-" Edward started and then stopped suddenly when we all heard vibrating from the little red clutch on the table.

"Damn it!" Emmett's voice boomed through the room as he chucked his phone right through Rose's brand new coach clutch. She wasn't going to be happy when she found that out. I think he better hope she doesn't come back at all.

Alice's eyes were wide open, "That was a perfectly good purse! What had it ever done to you?"

I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead harshly. I always thought it was cute that Bella called it my human trait. But I really was stress. I couldn't think my way out of this. For once I didn't feel confident. We, all of us, were out of our element and screwed. It was brilliant absolutely fucking brilliant on Victoria's part. Almost like she knew Bella was going to be gone.

I had to think of the best possible way to attack this because there was no good way. I looked at Demetri and Eleazar. They were my best bet at a decent plan, "We should attack in waves. That is the best, but where. Where are they coming in, Alice?"

She paused for a moment going over her vision. This was something I hadn't ever seen her do. If anything my ex-wife was always sure of her vision the first time. She must have seen something truly upsetting if she couldn't focus on the simple facts like this. I glanced over at Edward. His lips were pursed and he was searching for something through Alice's visions. It didn't look like he was finding what he wanted.

"South and west. There are waves Jasper. They plan to catch us off guard."

How did she train them to even work in waves? The fucking bitch was a little amazing. They should be unorganized. My first thoughts of a little light were being snuffed out quickly.

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Time sped by quickly and we were soon counting the arrival of Victoria in minutes with no Bella or Rosalie in sight. I wasn't quite sure what they were going to come back to, but I could tell it wasn't going to be pretty. Tanya and Demetri were clinging to each other and Irina looked sick. Kate on the other hand, small as she was, looked excited. I didn't doubt that she was more than excited about taking a few people down. Her gift was formidable, but not enough. Nothing was enough. All we could come up with at this point was to create waves of our own. Alice said it would buy us time until the gaps in her vision and the final decisions were made. She could see us taking down at least a hundred before Victoria stepped forward to stare at me. She wanted Edward, but as he would be in the house she would change her plans and take on me instead.

Edward wasn't happy about this little change in plans, but I was able to convince the little complaining fuck. He still thought that his recently fused head wouldn't impede him from doing his job. That was a load of crap and I told him several times. It didn't matter though because we really did needed a type of scout and he could do that from inside the house. His mind could penetrate the thoughts of the newborns and he could get a better idea of the battlefield and any moves or changes we needed to make. I didn't doubt that after awhile he would barge right into the battle. Alice tried to convince me he wouldn't, but I knew Edward a little better than her fucking vision that wasn't even complete. This was the first time she was failing and it bothered her as much as it did the rest of us.

I stared outside the window. Five minutes. With a wave of my hand Alice and Carlisle flanked me as we started to make our way outside. Alice's visions and Carlisle's would hopefully scare a few away, not to mention my powers. It was a low blow, but our first and best chance would be to convince the as many newborns as we could not to fight. Victoria wasn't with the first wave and Alice said these were the oldest making them the easiest to speak to.

I took an unnecessary breath. I could smell them coming for us. Some were still dripping venom from fights between each other. This was good. Every weakness that I could find and capitalize was good. I closed my eyes momentarily centering myself and allowing the soldier to come forward and take me completely. My eyes snapped open as I heard the first of them enter the field. It was all or nothing.

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**TBC**

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**Chibi-Kari: I think only one more chapter to go. Please review and thanks for reading!**


	26. Let Go

**Chibi-Kari: Well here it is everyone! Final chapter. I'm a little sad I never made it to 500 reviews, but I certainly hit every other goal I set forth and this story took me less than a year to complete! Thanks for sticking with and please give me a final thought! Hopefully no one is too disappointed by my ending. I don't own and it's probably a good thing I don't!**

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**Let Go**

**Chapter 26 – Let Go**

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**(Jasper's POV)**

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About seventy-five stepped through and I could tell immediately that Alice was right. Some of these vampires were even older than a year. I guess she figured they might be able to maim us before we fucking tore them apart. I glanced over to Carlisle. He was scrutinizing them. I reached forward with my powers to look at them myself. Most of them were tired and angry. Sick of what life had given them. They were ready to fight, but many of them didn't want to. This was good. I just hoped my surrogate father could do what he does so well, talk them down.

"We don't want to fight you." The sentence was the last thing I had expected from him. I almost scoffed at the statement.

"We have a duty to our mistress." One of the older vampires called. He was rather tall and seemed to be in his early-twenties. If I had to guess, Victoria had changed a fucking frat boy.

"Duty. That's an interesting phrasing. There's a different life for you and I promise you that you don't have any sort of obligation to Victoria."

I felt a shift in their feelings. There was some hope and disbelief. Anger and happiness. Some of them were shifting.

A small girl stepped forward, her shoulder length brown hair bounced slightly as she walked, "She said she would let us free if we did this."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow before his calm voice cut through, "Have you seen her keep any promises? Have you seen her do anything good? What makes you think after slaughtering a family she'll let you go? How do you know she doesn't just count on your death?" Carlisle paused for a moment and I had to commend him on the use of the word family. That man was fucking sly with his reminder of their humanity. Fucking sly. "I really think the better question, though, is why don't you just leave? You don't have to do this. What is she going to do to you?"

There was a sudden realization that expanded from the group and several of them looked back and forth at each other as if they hadn't understood until now. I was fucking amazed that they had never thought of leaving, but when I thought back on it I was too scared of leaving Maria. They probably felt the same. I glanced over at Alice and watched as her eyes glazed over and a smile took over her face. She snapped her eyes to me and nodded.

"Where are we supposed to go?" The first boy called forth again.

"The leaders of this world are willing to help you. They don't agree with your behaviour, but they're willing to make an exception. You can't kill indiscriminately anymore, but you can have a life. A real life and love. You have eternity to figure it out."

"Leaders?" There was a sound of disbelief. I shook my head slightly. Victoria hadn't even fucking told them about the Volturi.

"Yes. They are called the Volturi and they make our rules. It's not hard and they will find a place for all of you, maybe even with them in Italy. You can do anything you want now. Anything. And although I hold a different lifestyle than the one you've lived I will take any of you in. Any of you that don't wish to kill humans there is a different way to live. I can show you." He nodded slightly to them and I watched as they all stopped to look at each other. Alice beamed at me before settling her eyes on the young frat boy that had come forward. I almost rolled my eyes as she smiled at him. Oh fuck no.

"If we don't want to fight where should we go?" The girl spoke again as she glanced over us, "Where will the Volturi meet us? And if we wanted your lifestyle," She glanced at frat boy before rolling her eyes, "where shall we meet you?" I could like this girl. I could feel her exasperation as she looked over at him and then Alice. She had fucking attitude. Bella would love her.

"About three miles north of here you'll find a large house. The Volturi have set it up as a place to stay for anyone who wants to live on. They'll be here tomorrow. I'll meet anyone who would like to know about our lifestyle there later tonight." His confidence almost astounded me. He was sure this would be over so soon.

The small girl nodded slightly and many of the vampires broke off and started running North.

Frat boy paced forward a few feet, "And if any of us want to fight against her?"

Alice beamed at him and waved him forward, "Do."

About twenty came forward and fell into place surrounding us. The small girl came to stand next to me and I looked over at her questioningly.

She shook her head slightly in disgust, "The things I've seen her do. She needs to be destroyed. I hate to say that, but there isn't another option." I could feel her fighting against the anger and the hatred for Victoria. This girl had attitude, but was sweet at heart. She would be perfect for Edward. I glanced over at Alice and she nodded at me knowingly. Oh fuck. What was this? Match everyone single off. Were Kate and Irina next? This was supposed to be a fucking battle not a match making service. I felt Edward's nervousness spike and I knew he had heard my thoughts. His fucking mate was standing next to me and might be the first to get her head off.

"Why don't you go inside. There is a vampire in there that you could help." I nodded back to the house and she glanced at me raising an eyebrow. "Just go on." She nodded slightly as she took off towards the house.

I watched her retreating figure for a moment before frat boy spoke again, "You can't talk the next bunch out of this. They're unreasonable and new. She doesn't expect them to live."

"So this is the newborn wave?" So she did three. Alice couldn't tell me how many, but I'm currently fucking ecstatic that the worst that she had seen hasn't happened and we have more. The soldier in me shouted for fucking joy.

"This is the only other. She's going to swamp you with people. She thinks you'll be injured and weak. She wants to take care of you in one sweep." The woman was fucking good and I would give her that.

I heard Kate, Demetri, and the rest come up behind and fall into line. I glance around, internally counting, we had 27. 27 against over a hundred. Better odds.

"Do you know the count?"

He paused for a moment before fidgeting, "One hundred and ten last I counted, but there was a fight right before we left. I'd say one hundred if we're lucky. One oh five if we're not."

I nodded slightly. Four wasn't bad. We could each take on four. I glanced around the group, everyone looked centred and ready for a fight. Staring forward we just waited. Minutes drug on until they felt like hours even to me. Then I felt it. It was soft at first and then it started to feel like an earthquake. The earth shook as they tore through the forest. Victoria wasn't fucking around with us. She meant a fucking ambush and I'd have to say this was intimidating.

As the first few broke through I cringed. They were wild. She hadn't been allowing them to feed for days, at least. A burly man went straight for Esme and she brought him down with a practised ease that I never thought possible. I can only guess that all those years of Emmett being a fucking brat paid off. I only had enough time to look back upon the group before they were everywhere. For a moment in the madness I couldn't tell which limbs were those of the newborns or of my family. I attacked newborn after newborn just waiting for it to end. This was different than the southern wars. Back then the army was well fed and knew how to fight. These newborns were worse than unpredictable and they had some form of training. They didn't fight like newborns and God knows they didn't fight like trained newborns. They were rough, yet precise. It was terrifying. And just as I heard Alice cry out it stopped.

Everything stopped. I couldn't move and I couldn't be fucking happier. It meant Rose and Bella had fucking arrived.

"We leave for a day and the party starts without us?" Bella's voice was clear as it rang through the now silent front area.

Suddenly I was able to move and I saw the entire family blinking at the sight around them. There were newborns in mid air and mid swing. And here we were able to back up towards her. I glanced up at her before walking the crowd and pointing out the ones that had joined us. She let them go and they quickly headed north leaving only Alice's frat boy behind to stand with us. Bella raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged in response. What could I say? It obviously had become a matchmaking service.

"Victoria." Bella's voice was harsh and for the first time I noticed the red head. She had her fucking eyes wide and trained on Bella. "As you can see I'm not dead, but you certainly can't have your revenge. You see I'm a member of the Volturi. You don't go against the Volturi. And even if I wasn't you still can't fuck with me."

Bella stepped towards Victoria and I tried to go to her before I felt a wall come up in front of me. Bella continued forward. "I should make you suffer. Make you suffer like you did Ben and Angela. If only you bled, but you don't." Bella leaned in close to the red head, "But I'm also not a sadistic bitch. I'll make it quick."

The movement was quick, like before, the frozen vampires fell to the ground in pieces. The only sound made was the fall of the limbs on the ground around us. Demetri came forward quickly, joined by Kate and Irina, and they started to light the piles in front of them on fire. A sharp incense cut through the air and a deep purple filled the area around us, blinding me for a moment before a sharp gust of wind pushed it farther south away from all of us.

Bella turned from the burning pile in front of her and smiled at me as she started to walk towards me. Her beautiful eyes had taken on a burnt orange coloring as the flames burnt on behind her. Everything was fucking behind us. We could finally let go.

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**The End**

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**Chibi-Kari: Thanks again for reading and please leave me a little review!**


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